Louise Gulley PGDip, MBACP, Counselling & Psychotherapy
Psychotherapy & Counselling specialising in dating, romantic relationships & parenting.
Due to coronavirus I am currently working exclusively online. I’m returning to my Sevenoaks Practice from the 1st November 2020. I am yet to confirm my return to my London Bridge Practice but please do still get in touch if interested.
In your love life I can help you if you've:
- Never had a romantic or sexual relationship. If you’re in this position you can feel like you’re the only one in the world who doesn’t have any experience. This truly isn’t the case, and together, we can support you in developing confidence & self esteem. This has a powerful effect on your dating success. I’ll ensure that our therapy relationship also teaches you the key intimacy skills that will help you going forward.
- Difficulties dating. Perhaps it's all new to you or you're returning to the dating scene after a long hiatus or divorce. I offer practical guidance on how best to navigate the modern dating world. I'm also skilled at finding out where you may have got lost previously & getting you on the 'right' track.
- Chronic relationship problems. Do you find maintaining romantic relationships very challenging and feel like you just don't 'get' men or women? Feel close to giving up on relationships altogether? I can guide you in identifying the root cause of these difficulties. So, for example, you’ll learn to start picking partners who can give you what you need. I'll also teach you everything I know in order to better understand your partner which makes the relationship smoother.
- Had children and there’s little intimacy with your spouse or partner. In the early years children are right bang in the middle of you and your partner, in the literal sense that they’re in the middle of you on the sofa but also because you inevitably focus on them, and not you. Sex & closeness take a back seat. We don’t notice it but before this happens other intimacies are also lost; the kisses, the late night chats and the date nights. In order for your relationship to flourish again we need to focus on you first, and give you some much needed thought and care.
- Your relationship strained by the pandemic. Do you feel more distant than ever from your partner, or even more irritated by them? It’s pretty normal to feel this from time to time. However it’s not wise to let it fester. I find that I can help relieve you of these feelings by changing your part in the relationship, and this usually has a powerful affect on the relationship as a whole. This is particularly useful if your partner isn’t willing to do couples therapy.
The other side of my therapy practice is focused on parents.
In your family life I can help you if you feel like you’re:
-Failing as a parent. Do you yearn to “get it right” with your kids but feel like it’s falling apart? Are you yelling, losing your patience a lot, or being physically rough with them? As a parent myself, I know there’s nothing more triggering than our offspring. Did you vow to do it differently to your parents but find yourself repeating the same patterns? I’ll help you learn to contain your strongest emotions and start parenting in a different way that’s more aligned to your vision. I’ll also help you understand you children, when we understand the why behind their behaviour we don't get so triggered by it. My aim is to help you both move out of the way and get on with the business of being there for your kids, whilst also simultaneously finding some healing for your own childhood.
- Struggling being a stepparent. Are you feeling confused by your role. You’re not a mum or a dad and you’re not a friend, so what are you? Do you feel like all your buttons are being pushed? Is it putting a strain on your romantic relationship? I’ll bring clarity to your steparent role so you can confidently identify when to step back and when you are needed by your stepchild.
- Stuck & confused as a parent of a trans identified tween or teen. You often have nowhere to go to explore your understandably complex feelings of grief, anxiety and powerlessness. My main priority is in supporting you, and in supporting your ongoing connection with your child throughout their journey. I take a curious, thoughtful and research based approach. I neither immediately affirm or dismiss your tween or teen’s dysphoria. I’m here to help you sort through your own feelings (without censor) and to attune to your child and to carefully consider what they need from you during this difficult time.
I'm really passionate and committed to these areas as I've discovered this is where I do my best work; I'm direct and determined but also gentle enough to unpick your love and family life in order to bring you clarity.
You can expect me to be 'real' with you.
I’ll take the risk of saying something I think you won’t like, if I think it will really help you.
I find this approach is good at getting people, who feel uncomfortable with their feelings, in touch and much more comfortable with their feelings. This usually leads to a sense of aliveness, and more connection with yourself. It also provides you with the information you need to change.
You being lost, unsure or scared doesn’t freak me out.
I’m not a blank screen. I’m keen to engage with you, and for you to feel both challenged and cared for.
I'll always be on your side; not always in the way you want me to be, but often in the way you need me to be.
I find this approach is useful at helping people feel supported in such a way that they are ready to do things differently in their life.
Training, qualifications & experience
My training was integrative, drawing from all schools of psychology. Its defining feature is that as well as working directly with the challenges you bring, it also holds space for the development of human potential, which can include, for example, developing self awareness & a sense of meaning and purpose.
I have a PGDip (3 year Postgraduate Diploma) in Psychosynthesis Counselling, validated by the University of Middlesex and accredited by BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy).
I also have a BA Hons in English Literature and History of Art, The University of York.
British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy
BACP is one of the UK’s largest professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. Therapists registered with the Association fall into a number of different membership categories such as Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP and Registered Member MBACP (Accred), each standing for different levels of training and experience. MBACP (Accred) and MBACP (Snr Accred) members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.
Registered members can be found on the BACP Register, which was the first register to achieve Accredited Voluntary Register status issued by the Professional Standards Authority. Individual Members will have completed an appropriate counselling and/or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but will not appear on the BACP Register until they've progressed to Registered Member MBACP status.
All members are bound by a Code of Ethics & Practice and a Complaints Procedure. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
Accredited register membership
Accredited Register Scheme
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Face-to-Face Therapy & Online Therapy
£90.00 per session.
Each session will last 55 minutes.
Concessions available, so please enquire.