Stay safe: Read our information on how to cover your tracks online and privately search for help on the internet. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999. If you're experiencing domestic abuse, you can also contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247 for confidential support.
What is physical abuse?
Any act that brings unwanted physical harm to someone can be called physical abuse or is referred to as assault. Many behaviours are, therefore, considered abusive.
Some examples of physically abusive behaviours can include:
- punching, kicking, slapping
- physically restraining in a harmful way
- beating, whipping
- burning
- poisoning (or other methods of causing illness)
- shaking (especially of babies/small children)
- involuntary isolation
- misuse of medication (for example, over-sedation)
- force-feeding or withholding food.
It is still physical abuse if someone does one, two, or many of the actions on the list. Apologising, giving excuses, or promising not to do it again does not excuse abusive behaviour. You have the right to feel safe physically and emotionally.
In this video, counsellor Elaine Griffith (Dip Coun, Adv Dip Coun, MBACP, CBT) explores the impact of physical abuse. She explains how counselling can offer a safe space for you to process your experience, and provide you with tools to manage the effects of abuse.
Patterns of abusive behaviour
Some abusive relationships can involve recurring patterns of threatening, abusive and apologetic behaviour. However, everyone's experience is different, and abuse does not always follow a predictable cycle.
An example of this would be:
- the abuser threatens physical violence;
- physical abuse takes place;
- the abuser apologises profusely and may become extra attentive;
- the cycle repeats.
This is just one example. Not all cases are the same.
Who may be more vulnerable to physical abuse?
Anyone can experience physical abuse, regardless of their age, gender or background. Some people may be more vulnerable to abuse because they depend on others for care or support, or because it is harder for them to communicate what is happening or access help.
Other groups that may be at higher risk of physical abuse include:
- older people;
- people with physical or developmental disabilities;
- people experiencing mental health problems;
- people experiencing problems with drugs or alcohol;
- children and young people.
People experiencing abuse may feel shame or guilt about what is happening and may hide it from others. Fear can also make it difficult to reach out for support, and some people may be unable to communicate what is happening.
Because of this, physical abuse can go unreported.
If you are ready to reach out and tell someone what’s happening, Citizens Advice has a page with helpful numbers to call.
Physical abuse of children
Physical abuse can be carried out by anyone, including a parent, family member or carer. Whoever is responsible, physical abuse is never OK and should never be excused.
Terms used to describe physical abuse of children can include:
- Non-accidental head injury (NAHI) – This term may be used when a baby or child has experienced a head injury that is thought not to have happened accidentally. These injuries can be serious, particularly for babies and young children.
- Fabricated or induced illness (FII) – This term is used when a parent or carer exaggerates or causes symptoms of illness in a child. This can take different forms, including giving a child medicine they do not need or altering information about their health.
If you're worried about a child but aren't sure whether what you're seeing is abuse, you don't need to be certain before seeking advice. The NSPCC has information about physical abuse and where to find support.
Signs of physical abuse
Being aware of the signs of physical abuse can help you recognise when you or someone you know may be experiencing it. Physical signs can include frequent injuries or broken bones, bruises, bite marks and scarring. Other signs may be less obvious. For example, poisoning can cause drowsiness, vomiting or seizures, while drowning or suffocation can cause breathing difficulties.
There is rarely one physical sign that points to abuse, especially in children who may be prone to accidents. However, if you notice unusual patterns, frequent injuries or the story doesn’t match up to the injury, it’s worth raising your concerns.
Physical signs may not be visible. This can be due to the abuser trying to hide what they are doing, or the person being abused trying to hide what is happening to them.
It’s helpful then to also be aware of the emotional/behavioural signs of physical abuse. These can include:
- appearing suddenly withdrawn
- difficulty sleeping
- self-harming
- problems with drugs or alcohol
- suicidal thoughts
- changes in eating habits
- developing an eating disorder
- panic attacks or intense anxiety
- bedwetting or soiling (in children).
The person being abused may struggle to explain their injuries, or their story may be inconsistent. You may also notice that they fail to seek medical advice or frequently change doctors.
Where to find support if you suspect abuse:
Effects of physical abuse
Experiences of physical abuse can affect people's mental health and wellbeing in different ways. Some people may experience anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), difficulties with relationships or other effects of trauma.
Those who have experienced abuse may also experience low self-esteem or turn to drugs and alcohol to cope with the trauma.
As abusers are often close to their victims (either parents, caregivers or partners), there can be conflicting emotions within the survivor. They may find it difficult to trust others or maintain relationships.
How can counselling help after physical abuse?
There can be many emotions and feelings that come from a history of abuse. Working with a mental health professional can help you explore your feelings in a safe environment. Counsellors can listen to you without judgment, reflect on what you say, and offer insights to help you understand what has happened or is happening to you.
While they won’t tell you what to do, they will be able to guide you through your feelings and help you recognise that what happened or is happening is not your fault.
Counsellors can also address any conditions or concerns you may have developed following the abuse (such as PTSD or anxiety).
Depending on your circumstances, they can support you with these difficulties and help reduce their impact on your day-to-day life.
If you have PTSD, one treatment you may be offered is eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR), a psychological therapy used to treat PTSD.
People who are concerned about their own abusive behaviour can also seek specialist support to help them take responsibility for their behaviour and work towards change.
Working with a counsellor
There is no single qualification specifically required for working with people who have experienced physical abuse. You may wish to ask a counsellor about their experience of working with abuse and trauma, any relevant specialist training they have completed, and the professional body they belong to.
If you've experienced physical abuse, talking to a counsellor can give you a confidential space to explore what you've been through and how it may be affecting you now.
When you feel ready, you can find a counsellor who has experience supporting people affected by abuse.
I've been with my counsellor for two years now. It has been tough but also rewarding to finally find a relationship that I feel safe in and I can allow myself to trust.
- Read Sylvia's story.
