Bullying

What is bullying?

Bullying is generally understood as repeated behaviour intended to hurt someone physically or emotionally. It can involve an imbalance of power and take many forms, including verbal, physical and online bullying.

There is no legal definition of bullying. However, some bullying behaviour may amount to unlawful discrimination or harassment when it relates to certain protected characteristics.

Bullying can often take place at school, but it can happen at any stage of life. Adult bullying may happen at home, at work or even while in care.

Types of bullying

There are several types of bullying someone may use to hurt you, including the following:

Verbal bullying

This includes calling someone unpleasant names, verbally attacking their appearance or threatening them with physical violence. 

Physical bullying

This involves physically hurting someone by purposely hitting, kicking, punching, and scratching to cause pain.

Indirect bullying

This may look like ignoring someone, leaving them out of plans, gossiping, spreading rumours behind their back, or visually attacking them (such as giving threatening looks).

Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying can include hacking social media accounts, abusive instant messages, texts, emails or posts intended to belittle, hurt or intimidate someone.

Social networking can bring people together, but it can enable bullies to target people in their homes or places of work.

While cyberbullying is more often used by those at school, it isn’t something that only affects young people and children. For adults, it can exist in the workplace and on personal and professional social media accounts. 

Workplace bullying 

Workplace bullying is the mistreatment of a member of staff in the workplace. This might include verbal or indirect bullying, as well as bullying through emails, calls or social media.

How to stop bullying

If you are being bullied, there are steps you can take to help stop it. They will depend on your personal circumstances, but here are some suggestions to keep in mind.

• Tell someone what’s happening. Bullying thrives when no one else knows about it, so tell someone you trust – they may be able to help.
• Tell them to stop, if you feel safe and comfortable doing so. This may not make an impact, but clear communication can help them realise bullying is hurtful.
• Keep a record of what’s happening. Note what you’re going through as you may need to present evidence about your bullying.

Know that what you’re going through is not OK and you’re not alone. Being bullied can be an isolating experience. Hearing about other people's experiences of bullying and how they found support can help you feel less alone.

The effects of bullying

Having someone (or a group of people) make you feel bad through bullying is a tough thing to go through. Over time, we may start to internalise what the bullies are saying, believing it to be true. This can affect our sense of self-esteem and confidence. 

It can bring up feelings of anxiety, isolation and depression, especially if it goes on for a long period of time. Even if the bullying took place a long time ago, you may find the effects to be long-lasting.

Whether you are currently being bullied, have been bullied in the past or are affected by it in another way, you may want to explore counselling to help you cope with the effects.

How can counselling help with bullying?

A therapist can help you explore what is happening or what happened, consider your options and responses, and find ways to cope with the effects of bullying.

Counselling offers a supportive, non-judgemental space where you can talk about your experiences. In your counselling sessions, you can explore coping strategies that may help you move forward.

How can I help someone who’s being bullied?

It may be that you suspect a friend, loved one or colleague is being bullied and you would like to offer support. A person being bullied may need an ally and to know that they don’t have to suffer in silence.

To help you support them, we have put together some information, including advice on spotting the signs of bullying and advice for teachers, parents and employers.