What is financial therapy?
Financial therapy, or money counselling, isn’t just about getting your money matters in order. It involves a deeper exploration of your relationship with money.
Financial therapy explores what drives your behaviour and attitudes towards money. It can help you challenge your beliefs around money and find better ways to manage and cope with financial matters. Your counsellor may also help you to set achievable goals to work towards during and after your therapy sessions.
While financial or money therapy may offer you ways to help manage your money, it is important to note you will not receive investment advice, and it is not the same as speaking to a financial adviser.
Money and mental health
Money worries can have a huge impact on both our mental and physical health. Some people put off looking at their finances because they're worried about what they might find. When it comes to money and personal finances, it is common to experience feelings of stress, anxiety, shame, guilt, or embarrassment.
More than funding our basic needs and survival, many of us attach our self-esteem and even our sense of worth to money. This includes how much we have, spend, and earn. Many of us may use money as a measure of our success and frequently compare ourselves to others, whether that be friends, family, colleagues, or even those we see on social media. Financial issues can then threaten our perceived social status, in turn harming our self-esteem and worth.
Money worries can trigger feelings of anxiety and a sense of losing control. For some people, even the thought of checking their bank balance can feel overwhelming and may lead to feelings of anxiety or physical symptoms, such as a racing heart. Others may use money to cope with difficult emotions, perhaps spending more when feeling low or making impulse purchases for a temporary mood boost.
For many people, stress and anxiety can go hand in hand with financial worries. Prolonged, or chronic, stress can affect both physical and mental health. This may include frequent headaches, aches and pains, and sleep problems.
You may also find your financial matters affect your relationships and social life. For example, if you are in a relationship with a partner who has a different view on money, this could lead to conflict, secrecy, or resentment.
However, money worries don't only affect those experiencing financial difficulties. People who are financially comfortable can also experience challenges with their mental health related to money. For example, suddenly receiving a large sum of money, such as through a lottery win, may bring unexpected pressures, changes in relationships, or difficulty knowing who to trust.
Whether you have very little money or are financially comfortable, it can have a profound impact on your mental health.
Four tips to help improve your relationship with money
If you’re wondering what to do if you're worried about your finances, here are four tips to help you reframe your relationship with money.
Journaling
Journaling can be a great opportunity to become more aware of your feelings around money and understand any patterns that may occur. You can do this by noting down how you feel before and after you spend. This can help with understanding your triggers and may help lessen the feelings of dread.
Create a routine
Just as we create morning and bedtime routines, setting some time each week to review your finances can help to generate familiarity and understanding. Over time, this can help to lessen the feelings of shame, guilt, and embarrassment.
Create a plan of action
Create a plan of action and take back control by creating a budget. If you feel stuck on where to start, there are charities and organisations such as StepChange and Money Helper who offer free budgeting advice.
Set achievable goals
Goals can come in all shapes and sizes, and setting yourself something to work towards can have a positive impact on your mental, physical, and financial health. It may be helpful to use the acronym SMART, which stands for setting goals that are: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timely.
Another way to start is by setting yourself tiny or micro goals to develop healthy habits. Whichever way you choose to set your goals, remember to celebrate your wins, and be sure to do this in a way which does not involve money.
How can counselling help with money worries?
A counsellor will hold a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space for you to discuss your money worries and stresses. They can help you to view your finances and money worries more deeply and objectively.
A counsellor can help you to understand your relationship with money. This may include an exploration of your childhood, such as learning about how money matters showed up when you were younger and how they're now reflected in your present. This can help you get to the psychological and emotional roots of your relationship with money. In sessions, you may explore your money mindset and scripts. For example, if you grew up with the narrative that money was limited and tight, you may hold anxiety around money as an adult.
On the other hand, money may have been used to express affection in the absence of physical and emotional care and attention. If so, you may find your money scripts highlight an exaggerated importance of personal belongings and physical possessions.
Find a counsellor to explore your money scripts and learn new, healthier coping techniques; you may develop a healthier relationship with money.
Further support
You may be surprised to learn just how much support is available when dealing with financial matters. It can feel incredibly isolating and lonely to live with financial and money worries; however, you are not alone. There are some organisations and avenues of support available, some of which are listed below.
- Check your eligibility for government benefits or grants. You may be surprised to see what you could be eligible for. One way you can check is through the charity website Turn2us.
- Speak to the organisations you have a commitment with. Whether that’s your energy provider, water supplier, bank, local council, or credit card company. Many organisations may be able to offer support if you're struggling with payments. This could be in the form of payment options or other support, depending on circumstances.
- Seek advice from charities. Several charities provide free advice, for example, StepChange, Citizens Advice, and National Debtline.
- Talk to someone. Whether that is a friend, someone you trust, or a professional. Many counsellors and therapists also offer concessionary rates or low-cost options.
If money worries are affecting your mental health or everyday life, talking to a counsellor may help. You can find a counsellor who can support you in exploring your relationship with money and developing healthier ways to cope.
This page was written in September 2023 by counsellor and psychotherapist Belinda Sidhu (MBACP).
