About me
Does any of this sound familiar?
- You replay conversations for hours, worrying you've upset someone.
- Saying "no" feels almost impossible, even when you're exhausted.
- You put everyone else's needs before your own.
- The thought of disappointing someone fills you with dread, guilt or anxiety.
You might notice this in everyday life by:
- Lying awake replaying conversations.
- Feeling responsible for other people's emotions.
- Avoiding conflict whenever possible.
- Saying "yes" when you really want to say "no."
- Feeling emotionally drained, burnt out or resentful.
- Struggling to set boundaries without feeling guilty.
- Worrying that people will think badly of you if you put yourself first.
This is called People-pleasing, why does it happen?
People-pleasing isn't a personality flaw - it's often a coping strategy your nervous system developed to help you feel safe.
Perhaps you grew up around someone who was emotionally unpredictable, difficult to please or unavailable. Maybe you experienced criticism, rejection or situations where you felt you had to earn love, approval or acceptance.
Over time, your brain learnt that being helpful, agreeable or easy-going reduced conflict and helped you feel safer.
The problem is that your nervous system may still be using those same protective strategies today, even though they're no longer serving you.
Now, setting a boundary, expressing a different opinion or saying "no" can feel genuinely threatening. Your body reacts as though the relationship is in danger, even when it isn't.
How therapy can help
Therapy isn't about becoming selfish or caring less about others.
It's about helping you feel safe enough to care about yourself too.
Together, we can gently explore where these patterns began, understand why they still show up, and help you build healthier ways of relating to yourself and the people around you.
Therapy can help you:
- Set healthy boundaries with less guilt.
- Feel calmer and less overwhelmed.
- Build confidence in your own needs and decisions.
- Stop feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions.
- Develop more balanced, authentic relationships.
- Treat yourself with greater kindness and compassion.
A final thought...
One of the things I hear most often from clients is:
"I know what I need... I just feel so guilty asking for it."
If that resonates with you, please know these patterns don't define who you are. They were learnt for a reason, and they can change.
If you'd like to explore this further, I offer a free 15-minute introductory call. We can talk about what's been feeling difficult, answer any questions you have, and see whether working together feels like the right fit for you.
Whenever you're ready, I'd love to hear from you.
Grace Parker
Registered MBACP Integrative Counsellor
Guildford, Haslemere & London
Online and in-person counselling for adults
Training, qualifications & experience
- Integrative Counselling Diploma from the Awareness Centre in Clapham.
- Over 100 placement hours within the NHS and Awareness Centre's Low-cost service
Area of Interest
- "Introduction to Art Therapy" British Association of Art Therapists (BAATs), 13th July 24
- "CBT for ADHD" by Association for Psychological Therapies (APT), 9th December 2024
- "The National Autistic Society's Annual Professional Conference" - The National Autistic Society, 13th March 2025
Member organisations
BACP is one of the UK’s leading professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy with around 60,000 members. The Association has several different categories of membership, including Student Member, Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP, Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Accred) and Senior Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Snr Acccred). Registered and accredited members are listed on the BACP Register, which shows that they have demonstrated BACP’s recommended standards for training, proficiency and ethical practice. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). Accredited and senior accredited membership are voluntary categories for members who choose to undertake a rigorous application and assessment process to demonstrate additional standards around practice, training and supervision. Individual members will have completed an appropriate counselling or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but they won’t appear on the BACP Register until they've demonstrated that they meet the standards for registration. Student members are still in the process of completing their training. All members are bound by the BACP Ethical Framework and a Professional Conduct Procedure.
Accredited register membership
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Therapies offered
Photos & videos
Fees
£75.00 per session
Concessions offered for
Additional information
It all starts with one email
If you're thinking about therapy, the first step is simply getting in touch.
Just send me an email and let me know:
- Whether you'd prefer online or in-person sessions
- When you're usually available
We'll then arrange a free 30-minute introductory call on Microsoft Teams.
This is a relaxed conversation where you can tell me a little about what's been going on and what you'd like support with. It's also your chance to ask any questions and get a feel for whether I'm the right counsellor for you.
After our call, there's no pressure. I'll send you an email the following day to see how you're feeling. If you'd like to continue, we'll arrange your first session. If it doesn't feel like the right fit, that's completely okay too.
I know reaching out can feel like the hardest part. Whenever you're ready, I'll be here to listen.
When I work
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