Mary Mcilroy London Bridge SE1, Central London, Muswell Hill N10, MBACP Reg
92-94 Tooley St
The City Of London
07769218 281 / 07769 218 281
As a person with epilepsy I learned how to turn a disability into an advantage and how to cope with anxiety. I now believe there is no reason for anyone to continue feeling anxious or depressed and that negative situations can be used to push you forward and motivate you toward the lasting changes you desire.
Throughout our work I will help you examine and modify the long-standing patterns that interfere with your functioning, relationship issues and quality of life. I can help those who are in crisis or have general depression, anxiety, panic attacks, stress or relationship issues to figure out a way to resolve their difficulties, gain happiness and pursue life goals.
The first session is an opportunity for us to meet and get to know each other. It will be a space for you to ask any questions you may have about me or the counselling process and to talk about what brings you to counselling. At the end of this session we should have a good idea as to whether we want to work together and continue with further sessions, although you may want to think it over for a few days.
Once the decision is made to continue we will establish a ‘contract’ that we both feel comfortable with. This will make clear the confidential nature of the sessions, the cancellation policy and establish our commitment to working together in regular weekly sessions. For example we may initially contract to meet for 8 weeks, to see how that works out. This may be a sufficient number of sessions or you may then decide to continue open-endedly.
I use a variety of models to help access self-insight such as dialogue, art, cbt, and imagery. We work together to identify ineffective patterns of thinking and behaviour and to develop more effective alternatives and healthier relationships.
Within a safe environment, you will be encouraged to take risks, try new things, and practice the change you hope to achieve. All aspects of the counselling process are designed to help you experience real behavioral change and eliminate the problems that impede healthy relationships.
I have over 10 years experience of counselling & psychotherapy in both charitable and private organisations. Although I focus on anxiety, depression, confidence and relationship difficulties I have a wide range of experience counselling people with other difficulties. I believe all issues overlap and I enjoy helping people inside the therapy room to bring that joy outside into their life.
It can be difficult to talk to those close to you as they often, understandably, struggle to remain impartial. Sometimes professional support is needed so that you can express yourself to someone who has no vested interest in you being any particular way and who will not be shocked, overwhelmed or judgemental about what you have to say. It can be surprising how valuable it can be to have a space where you can be helped to explore for yourself what your own responses, perceptions and feelings are; to find fresh and unimagined ways of looking at and experiencing problematic emotions, relationships and situations.
My main purpose:
- Help gain mastery over anxiety.
- Resolve dilemmas.
- Negotiate relationship issues
- Expand awareness of choice.
Knowing what your choices are helps you make the best decisions and to plan your life direction. The possibilities which accompany choice enables you to find the most suitable path forward, to take responsibility for your behaviour, reduce anxiety & stress and maximise the potential, creativity and joy in life.
I am experienced in counselling clients who have difficulties including:
- emotional difficulties
- confidence, self esteem, life coaching
- crisis situations
- relationship difficulties
- enhancing life's joys & potential and many more.
- How I can help
- I believe there is no reason to continue feeling anxious, depressed or unhappy. I aim to help those who are in crisis or have general depression, anxiety or relationship issues to figure out a way to gain happiness and contentment. I believe that therapy is teamwork and that together we can put an end to your suffering.
For counselling to work we build a relationship based on trust. During the process you will be listened to with empathy while you feel and see change happen as anxiety melts away. I consult with leading supervisors and psychotherapists in confidence to ensure quality therapy for my clients.
Sadly there is no magic. I can't prescribe you with pills or lotions. There is no lying down on a couch with me sitting in a white coat pen and paper in hand. Instead we will sit in comfy chairs and you will do most of the talking, I do the listening and together we reflect and arrive at the 'right answer' for you. In therapy we will discuss the behaviours which you then need to practise in life outside, an effort from both of us helps to bring forth the change you long for.
I hold an MBACP from the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) and a Postgraduate in Psychosynthesis Counselling which is validated by the University of East London.
In addition to my private practice I assist at the Psychosynthesis and Education Trust which runs highly esteemed training programmes for counsellors and psychotherapists.
"I had 12 sessions with Mary and she helped me a great deal. I found her very intuitive, calm, kind and patient. I definitely benefited hugely from my weekly hour with her and she enabled me to really move forward." For further testimonials please read my website.
I have a particular interest in anxiety, stress and depression. I produce regular blogs to help you overcome these difficulties.
Google m-mcilroycounselling.co.uk to access informative blogs on anxiety, confidence, stress, relationship issues and many more.
Training, qualifications & experience
My professional background is in education and as I have always been drawn to helping people this work brought me into counselling services (including counselling teenagers in inclusion units). I have also worked as a volunteer counsellor with Victim Support for seven years. My Counselling & Psychotherapy training school is the fully accredited Psychosynthesis & Education Trust, here I achieved:
- a post-graduate in Counselling & psychotherapy awarded by the University of East London.
- an MBACP from the BACP (British Association for Counsellors and Psychotherapy) of which I am a registered member.
- I have studied Mindfulness
- Sex therapy training at Spectrum Therapy Center
- CBT diploma ('CBT with Heart') run by Adrian Hart from the university of Chester.
- Prior to counselling I gained a BA (Hons) from Middlesex university
- I later retrained as a teacher and achieved a PGCE in Education from SouthBank university.
I have previously worked as a volunteer with Victim Support where I trained to deal with physical, sexual and domestic violence. I have counselled teenagers in secondary schools and provided foster support for the Borough of Haringey. I believe my experience in various counselling settings and my education in child development and teaching complements my work as a therapist today.
My Experience includes assisting various workshops at the Psychosynthesis & Education Trust.
I work in a range of areas including depression, relationship difficulties, panic attacks, stress and anxiety.
I am the member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). I adhere to their professional code of practice and am engaged in regular clinical supervision.
I am Irish born in Dublin Ireland.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Avoidant personality disorder
- Carer support
- Child related issues
- Domestic violence
- Family issues
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
- Panic disorder
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Personality disorders
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Other areas of counselling I deal with
In addition to helping individuals recover from the aftermath of trauma I help to get rid of anxiety and career related stress. I also help people push through feelings of depression into happiness. I strive to enable people become all that they can be. I believe my work as a counsellor & psychotherapist is enriched by my earlier work and training in the fields of education & business studies.
I offer a safe and supportive environment for short-term or long-term therapy. Many people find the session room becomes a haven for expressing feelings that they believed will be harshly judged elsewhere. Providing a safe place gives them some relief, because they are so self-critical. Treatment is collaborative and pragmatic usually resulting in the following long-term benefits:
Increasing the skills you need to help manage your emotions.
Providing you with psychological tools to help you cope with externally imposed difficulties.
Finding solutions for main areas of stress and helping make most appropriate decissions.
Helping you become all you can be and helping you discover your path to fulfillment.
- Behavioural therapy
- Cognitive and behavioural therapies
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- Cognitive therapy
Photos & videos
When considering therapy it is natural not to be clear about the length and depth of engagement that is right for you. I recommend that you get in touch and we can arrange an initial meeting. This will be an opportunity to meet each other, to talk about your difficulties and to decide if therapy feels right.
If, following our first meeting, we decide to continue, we would agree to a regular time to meet once a week.
My fees are £50 per session.
I do require a minimum of 3 days cancellation notice otherwise the fee will still need to be paid.
Start, just see how it goes and you may be pleasantly surprised.
I can offer day or evening sessions, some flexibility in session dates is possible.
Free parking is guaranteed in Muswell Hill N10.
It is easy to access my premises in The City of London SE1, it is a 5 minute walk from London Bridge station.
Both addresses (London Bridge)SE1 and (Muswell Hill) N10 are close to Central London.
I am Irish, born in Dublin Ireland.
- Learn to forgive and improving our healing
- How to be confident
- Gain control over overwhelming emotions
5 Key Habits to a Happier Life
We all strive for happiness, often by looking for it in a wide variety of places, perceiving it as a state that we can arrive at. But happiness is a journey, not a destination. It is not a place that you can reach for good. The good news is that we can develop our own happiness plan, by consciously exercising some positive habits. So here they are, five, psychologically proven habits that will help you to live a happier and more fulfilled life:
1. Express Gratuitude- happiness really starts from counting your blessings. Psychological studies over the years have consistently shown that an ongoing practice of gratitude brings surprising life improvements. Yes, gratitude, just like any other skill requires practice. So start consciously reminding yourself things that you can be grateful for, you may chose to write a gratitude journal or simply verbalise the feeling of gratitude on regular basis.
2. Forgive- being able to forgive and let go will empower you. And it applies to both, forgiving others and yourself. By doing so you will remove a heavy and a painful load off your back. Forgiveness, however difficult, will set you free so you can lave the trap of endless revenge and experience more joy and connection in your life.
3. Turn jealousy into motivation- the feeling of jealousy is often associated with negativity. However, if we chose to look at jealousy from another perspective we can turn it into a healthy tool. When approached in a constructive way jealousy can help us to fulfill our wants, needs and goals. Move from a jealousy mode into a ‘student’ mode to be inspired and learn from the success of others.
4. Smile more- research shows that our emotions are reinforced by our responding facial expressions. In simple words, smiling more will make you feel happier. Recent study by University of Cardiff discovered that people who have botox injections, are happier on average than people who can frown. Smiling is very powerful, it helps us to crate a much happier environment around us as people respond to it and gravitate towards happy, stimulating individuals.
5. Embrace your inner child and learn something new- children are curious and always ready to learn something new. Try to let go of your inner perfectionist and embrace new skills. Remember, it’s ok not getting it right the first time around.
"One of the most liberating realizations is that we don't have to believe our thoughts" -Tara Brach
Don’t Let Depression Win'... ....followed by........ 'You Want to Cry and Don’t Know Why'
The alarm goes off and the depression count down begins. What can I delay today? Who can I cancel? Where can I delegate? All you want is your pillow. When you look in the mirror, you count the flaws and loathe what you see. The inner diatribe is sharp and unrelenting. This is depression and it makes working, playing, learning and parenting almost impossible. You suffer because you lack motivation. You are guilty because you can’t mobilize. You want to cry and you don’t know why. It makes no sense. You barely recognize yourself.
It Makes No Sense
You would do anything to feel better, and you’ve probably tried all of the usual fixes: omega-3s, gym memberships, yoga, meditation, affirmations and “being positive.” Self-help books and rock anthems might give you a momentary emotional boost, but perhaps the gray cloud of depression always manages to descend once again. Your job performance may be suffering, your loved ones are perhaps bewildered and you are likely worn out by the effort it takes to pay the bills, get out of bed in the morning or even tie your shoelaces. There’s a way out of this, but in your current state, hope has perhaps migrated south for the season.
It’s not your fault
Depression treatment also questions the high bars individuals set for themselves. Is it fair? Does it make sense? When patients learn to examine their wishes for perfection, they learn to weed out the goals that don’t matter anymore and keep only the important ones. Once the backbreaking ideals are retired, rest and relaxation can find a foothold. Pleasure and connection are right behind. With the help of counselling you can learn about your vulnerabilities to hurt, guilt, shame, and loneliness. You can recognise that you are backsliding into depression in a more timely manner and intercede with exceptional self-care.
I can barely get through my day
Yes. I know. Another obligation. Another place to be. You are already so burdened by your illness that you can’t imagine that someone could lighten the load you are already carrying. The hopeful part of you is reading this and searching for relief. At the same time, something powerful (and probably old) is working like acid on your hope. Think of taking the power of the sneering, hateful part and aiming all that energy at acquiring something you want instead of at your most vulnerable self.
Don’t Let Depression Win
With the help of depression treatment, it’s possible to get back in touch with the best of what you are. I have years experience working as a counsellor and have worked with depression in all its disguises. You can take off the mask with me.
How to Control a Panic Attack:
Panic attacks often happen as a result of certain situations such as:
Having to address a group of people, fear of speaking to the opposite sex, dilemmas we can’t control.… They can manifest as:
an increased heart rate, difficulty breathing, irrational thoughts, feeling we are going mad / dying. Often our answer is to avoid the situations were the panic attack is triggered. This answer can lead to isolation, social anxiety and agoraphobia.
The physical symptoms are a result of emotions being unconsciously repressed and physically somatized. A common reaction is to believe ’there is something physically wrong with me’. A Panic Attack is a psycho-physiological (mind-body) response to unresolved emotional needs.
Steps to help overcome Panic Attacks are:
- Acceptance. Accept the reality. In the moment you have to accept this is happening but it will pass.
- Roll with the punches. Don’t deny your emotions.
- Picture a surfer on a wave, the panic attack will swell and it will subside.
- Tell people. If there is someone you trust nearby it will help calm you simply letting them know.
- Learn a relaxation technique, relaxation and panic are incompatible.
If you are alive you’ve got stress, ongoing irrational stress and anxiety can have damaging effects on your body. If your Panic Attacks become severe it is imperative to resolve the underlying issue.
For information on handling depression, panic attacks and general anxiety consult the website below:
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
I am available as a Counsellor/ psychotherapist in London Bridge SE1, Central London, East London, & North London (Muswell Hill N10)
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|