Linking thinking with allowing your inner voice to speak

When we hold back we act differently (people may judge you as unconventional or unique). We might not speak to that cute girl/guy, keeping our hearts closed rather than risking possible pain and rejection (don’t be surprised when you see her/him with someone else).

We have our pride after all! We put up defences rather than expose our vulnerabilities or be taken advantage of. We stubbornly don’t name our emotion until we get what we want first. Often we are more fascinated in other people’s feelings than our own. We may end up wishing we hadn’t rather than we had. Why not take a chance or you could end up thinking “what if?”

Do you have difficulties expressing what you’d really like to say? How many people can you really open up with? Do you ever admit to crying in bed, dread socialising, or do you say “I’m fine thanks” yet feel you're good enough?

Even our nearest and dearest might never guess what lies below the surface. It’s easier to tell yourself "Hold on, be strong, admit no wrong. Be the cool lone-ranger, keeping independent will save me from vulnerability and danger.” That mantra has helped us survive all along.

Yet we may long for a confidant, a close friend, warm company to share with. We may burn to discuss the bothersome partner/boss, to unload the night-dreads, to placate the inner chat which fuels the worry, the indecision, the embarrassing panics, doubts and loneliness.

Releasing pent up stress actually has health benefits. Learning to express your truth can boost confidence and self-image. Being able to open up to people can improve friendships and build social groups. If you don’t speak your mind how will people know what you are thinking?

But where can our secret inner world and outer realities meet safely and find a resolution? Some of us have never really had the transforming experience of openly discussing our inner world.

Do you need help to dare speak up and voice your inner truth? If so then consider contacting a counsellor in your area.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Central London SE1 & Muswell Hill N10

Written by Mary Mcilroy

Central London SE1 & Muswell Hill N10

I am a registered counsellor with the BACP. The areas where I work are: London Bridge/The City of London and Muswell Hill/London N10. Although I help people mainly with issues of anxiety and depression, I cover many other areas.

Please visit my website for more information:

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