Mary Mcilroy Verified Professional Verified Professional
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BACP Registered Relationship Counsellor + Anxiety Specialist

About me

The first session can be a call giving us the opportunity to meet before commitment.

Welcome, I believe there is no reason for anyone to continue to feel sad, anxious or depressed. My goal is to help you understand what’s going on and improve what’s not working. I also believe that negative situations can be used as a catalyst to push you forward and can even motivate you toward achieving the change you desire.

I can offer Online Anxiety & Relationship Counselling via Zoom, Skype or in person and have plenty of experience with difficult decision making if this is your dilemma.  I specialise in treating Panic Attacks, provide tools for anxiety and stress and help make difficult relationship decisions.

I now have epilepsy and face certain conditions which require a degree of creativity and resilience.  My disability is also a benefit, I have learned to work with problems until I find the solution. I studied Mindfulness Teacher training in the award winning Breathworks centre, you will be surprised how your suffering can be replaced by a love of life.  The founder of this centre won the BMA award for Popular Medicine, (the category in the 2014 Medical Book Awards).  The founder of Breathworks is one of the most widely respected names in the field of Mindfulness and pain management.

I’m happy to work on any issue you choose.

My approach

I'm committed to providing the type of counselling I'd want for someone I love.

A cool, judgemental attitude is something you’ll never get from me.

If you want a counsellor who sits back saying “tell me more about this…….” or "Uh huh” this is not me

If you want a highly intellectual type of analyst who spends multiple sessions analysing dream’s then I am not the right person for you.

I am an active counsellor who gets involved in therapy.  One who gives advice, homework, reviews and feedback on progress. I will answer most questions as I believe counselling is a collaborative process resulting in change.

Many people have excellent insights into their issues yet are still stuck, people like this need a powerful psychological jump start to help them move forward.  Our work together will promote this movement, counselling is not a forever process. You should feel and see change happening.  I review and offer life & career coaching to help you monitor your progress.

The first session is an opportunity for us to meet and get to know each other. It will be a space for you to ask any questions you may have about me or the counselling process and to talk about what brings you to counselling.  Online counselling is an optional method for initial sessions.

Within a safe environment, you will be encouraged to take risks, try new things, and practice the change you hope to achieve.  All aspects of the counselling process are designed to help you experience real behavioural change and eliminate the problems that add to stress and impede healthy relationships.

It can be difficult to talk to those close to you as they often, understandably, struggle to remain impartial. Sometimes professional support is needed so that you can express yourself to someone who has no vested interest in you being any particular way and who will not be shocked, overwhelmed or judgemental about what you have to say.  It can be surprising how valuable it can be to have a space where you can be helped to explore for yourself what your own responses, perceptions and feelings are, to find fresh and unimagined ways of looking at problematic emotions, inner blocks, relationship difficulties & anxious situations.  I have trained in Mindfulness and practise regular meditation, both of which my client benefits from.

My Special Strengths :

One of my strengths lie in working with relationship struggles. Areas such as loneliness, difficulty getting past the first date, low self-esteem or finding a suitable partner may be causing you anxiety, depression or even issues such as panic attacks and social phobia.  Panic attacks, relationships, lack of confidence and anxiety counselling are now areas I have a lot of experience with (if one such is your sore spot).

Such relationship problems can surface at any time, within a relationship or even when single. These difficulties can show up in a variety of ways including uncertainty, distrust, anger, feeling like you are being controlled or causing you to repeat patterns in the areas of work, family, relationship and love life.

In our counselling I help you to become more confident, productive, happy and pleased with yourself. As a result you are more likely to become more genuine, reach towards your potential, more co-operative, authentic and more sought after by others.

Another of my strengths is working with Stress and Anxiety:

I believe there is no reason for anyone to continue to feel anxious or depressed and also believe that negative situations can be used as a catalyst to push you forward and even motivate you toward achieving the lasting changes you desire. As a person with epilepsy, I had to learn how to turn a disability into an advantage and how to cope with self-esteem issues, relationship difficulties, stress, panic attacks and anxiety. In addition I have studied Mindfulness and Meditation which I practise daily and often introduce in sessions to help calm anxiety and ease depression.

I strive to help people with anxiety disorders achieve a calm confidence and those with relationship difficulties to find a heart-felt resolution, in addition:
I can also help those who are in crisis or have general depression, anxiety, panic attacks, stress, with life or career coaching, confidence or relationship issues, and sexual dysfunction. I can help them figure out ways to resolve their difficulties, traumas, gain happiness and pursue life goals. Counselling also helps to examine and modify any long-standing patterns that may interfere with a client's functioning, relationship, sexuality issues and quality of life.

I provide tools to help with all difficulties.

I work as a counsellor in London Bridge, Central and North London and counselling in Muswell Hill.

You can contact me online from the comfort of your home via Zoom or Skype.
Contact me for more information
phone:      07769 218281

Although I focus on anxiety, depression, confidence and relationship difficulties I have a wide range of experience counselling people with other issues.  I believe all issues overlap and I enjoy helping people inside the therapy room to bring that joy outside into their life.  If I have not listed your particular issue above please feel free to contact me.

I’ve always believed that we can get more out of life if we’re willing to change. And I know now that change is possible in the deepest sense you can imagine.  Years ago, after studying in Dublin (where I'm from) I pulled up my roots and became a Londoner.

My education and training continued here in London with a B.A. in Business Studies (parallel to a banking career), then later a PGCE in Education plus Montessori Teacher training. Next step volunteering for Victim support and then counselling teenagers in inclusion units which inspired me to begin my counselling training.  I have since counselled clients with a wide variety of problems for over two decades. I have always been drawn to helping people and this brought me to work in counselling services, which provided me with a new sense of purpose in what I was doing.

The issues that bring my patients into treatment are usually highly specific. A difficult transition in life, work stress, relationship difficulties, sexual issues, anxiety and more.  I’ve noticed that when they improve in that one area, they often report an ability to solve problems and enjoy life more in other areas as well. How can that be?

After looking into the matter, I believe it reflects what is called neuroplasticity— the brain’s amazing ability to literally rewire itself through a process of concerted thinking, learning, and acting.

It’s the same process that shapes a child’s abilities in the first place. And that, I think, helps explain why warmth and caring on the part of a counsellor — much like that of a good parent — is essential to successful treatment. As one review of more than 500 studies of the effect of therapeutic empathy has concluded, “the evidence is nothing short of amazing.”

If you’re having a difficult relationship in work or your private life, or if you’re scarcely having any relationships at all, give me a call. If you are suffering from anxiety, panic attacks, stress, bereavement, loneliness, sexual issues or a host of other difficulties do not hesitate, contact me. You were meant to do better.

One final thought: as a counsellor I always enjoy seeing patients become energised and optimistic, especially when relationship issues are involved. We human beings are constructed to get most of our fulfilment from how well we relate to others.

It's important for me to be able to offer my clients 'cutting edge' aspects of psychotherapy and counselling hence I am currently training to teach Mindfulness in order to maximise the benefits of my service.  I have studied Mindfulness Meditation which I practise daily and often introduce this in sessions to help ease anxiety, lift depression and resolve other difficulties.

I started to work as a counsellor for charities and private organisations over 18 years ago. I have worked for MIND where I counselled for suicidal ideation and severe mental health issues.

I am now registered by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) with whom I hold an MBACP.

Together we will examine and modify any long-standing patterns that may interfere with your functioning, relationships and quality of life.  In addition I treat those with anxiety, panic attacks, stress, confidence issues, low self-esteem, loneliness, relationship issues and more.  In London Bridge, The City of London, SE1, Muswell Hill, North London, N10 & Central London.

My counselling in Muswell Hill, N10, North London is close to the following areas:
Finchley, Highgate N6, Crouch End, Archway, Finsbury Park, Southgate, Barnet, Bounds Green, Wood Green, Arnos Grove, Alexandra Palace, Cockfosters, Oakwood

As a counsellor & therapist in London Bridge I'm close to the following tubes and rail stations:

Aldgate Tube, Bank Station, The Barbican, Blackfriars, Canon Street, King William station, Liverpool St station, Lothbury Tube, Ludgate Circus Tube, Mansion House Tube, Mark Lane Tube, Moorgate station, St Pauls station, The City of London square.

Both locations are within either North London, Muswell Hill, N10  Central London, London Bridge, SE1, Westminster, Liverpool st / The City of London.

I am experienced in counselling clients who have difficulties including:

  • anxiety / general anxiety disorder
  • depression
  • addiction
  • anger
  • loneliness
  • sadness / lonely
  • loss
  • confidence, self esteem, life coaching
  • bereavement
  • relationship difficulties
  • stress
  • panic-attacks

How I can help

For counselling to work we build a relationship based on trust. During the process you will be listened to with empathy while you feel and see change happen as anxiety melts away.  I consult with leading supervisors and psychotherapists in confidence to ensure quality therapy for my clients.

Sadly there is no magic. I can't prescribe you with pills or lotions. There is no lying down on a couch with me sitting in a white coat pen and paper in hand. Instead, we will sit in comfy chairs and you will do most of the talking, I do the listening and together we reflect and arrive at the 'right answer' for you. In therapy we will discuss the behaviours which you then need to practise in life outside, an effort from both of us helps to bring forth the change you long for.


I have over 17 years experience and the following people felt recovered enough to state:

"I had 12 sessions with Mary and she helped me a great deal. I found her very intuitive, calm, kind and patient. I definitely benefitted hugely from my weekly hour with her and she enabled me to really move forward" Client with confidence, stress and depression issues.

"I came to Mary with self confidence issues and anxiety, particularly in social situations. During my sessions with Mary I was able to confront the reasons for my feelings of anxiety and develop new ways of thinking that have helped me immensely in moving forward in a positive direction. Mary's calm and patient approach was exactly what I needed and I'm extremely grateful for her help in working towards a better me" Client with anxiety and confidence issues.

"Mary helped me through a difficult period of my life. I had twelve sessions with her, which helped me to see more clearly and to overcome some grief and relationship issues I had. She is easy to talk to, very kind and wise. I would recommend her to anyone with similar problems."

Linking Thinking with Confidence

Tell yourself:

  • The people who look beautiful are the same as you, the difference is they tell themselves they look good, that shines through.
  • The people who say the most profound witty things as the same as you, they are letting go and being who they are.
  • The people who appear confident and relaxed are no different, they push themselves through fearful situations and tell themselves they can make it.
  • The people who are successful are the same as you, they tell themselves go ahead and develop your gifts and talents, set goals.
  • We are all the same as the people on TV. It's what we tell ourselves that makes the difference.
  • So give yourself a big hug, tell yourself you are alright, you can be wonderful. Is a change of thinking needed? Anon

Friedrich Nietzsche, “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.”

For further testimonials please read my website 

I am a counsellor in London Bridge SE1, offer therapy in the City of London and also offer counselling in Muswell Hill, N10, North London.

Training, qualifications & experience

Are you looking for registered and experienced counselling & therapy? My professional background is in education and as I have always been drawn to helping people this work brought me into counselling services (including counselling teenagers in inclusion units). I have also worked as a volunteer counsellor with Victim Support for seven years. My Counselling & Psychotherapy training school is the fully accredited Psychosynthesis & Education Trust, here I achieved:.

  • A post-graduate Diploma in Psychosynthesis counselling, awarded by the Psychosynthesis Trust.
  • MBACP,  Registered member of the BACP.
  • Sex therapy training (Spectrum Therapy Centre).
  • CBT diploma ('CBT with Heart') run by Adrian Hemmings from the university of Chester.
  • Certificate in Ecopsychology from the psychosynthesis Trust.
  • Prior to counselling I gained a BA (Hons) in Business Studies from Middlesex university.
  • I later retrained as a teacher and achieved a PGCE in Education from SouthBank university.
  • PG Diploma in Counselling & Psychotherapy awarded by UEL.
    Certificate in Person-Centred Counselling
    Registered with the BACP (British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy) where I achieved my MBACP
    Mindfulness Teacher training through the highly respected ‘Breath-works' organisation.
  • My counselling training is validated by the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy).  I regularly undertake continuing professional development courses to enrich my skills and practice. (I am currently developing my couples counselling skills).
  • I previously worked as a volunteer with Victim Support where I trained to deal with physical, sexual and domestic violence.
  • I have counselled teenagers in secondary schools and provided foster support for the Borough of Haringey. I believe my experience in various counselling settings and my education in child development and teaching complements my work as a therapist today.
  • I have trained as a couple and relationship counsellor which enables me to offer relationship counselling in Muswell Hill, London Bridge and The City of London.
  • I work with MIND counselling those with severe mental health issues and suicidal ideation.
  • My experience includes assisting training workshops at the Psychosynthesis & Education Trust in London Bridge SE1, the City of London.
  • I am a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). I adhere to their professional code of practice and am engaged in regular clinical supervision.

    I am Irish born in Dublin Ireland.

Member organisations


British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP)

BACP is one of the UK’s leading professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy with around 60,000 members. The Association has several different categories of membership, including Student Member, Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP, Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Accred) and Senior Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Snr Acccred).

Registered and accredited members are listed on the BACP Register, which shows that they have demonstrated BACP’s recommended standards for training, proficiency and ethical practice. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).

Accredited and senior accredited membership are voluntary categories for members who choose to undertake a rigorous application and assessment process to demonstrate additional standards around practice, training and supervision.

Individual members will have completed an appropriate counselling or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but they won’t appear on the BACP Register until they've demonstrated that they meet the standards for registration. Student members are still in the process of completing their training.

All members are bound by the BACP Ethical Framework and a Professional Conduct Procedure.

Accredited register membership

British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy

Accredited Register Scheme

The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).

This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.

British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy

Other areas of counselling I deal with

Although my work covers many areas those I mainly work in are:

Relationship & family difficulties, stress & anxiety, helping single people change recurring patterns (indecision, social phobias) career dilemmas, the aftermath of divorce.

I offer a safe and supportive environment for short-term or long-term therapy. Many people find the session room becomes a haven for expressing feelings that they believed will be harshly judged elsewhere. Providing a safe place gives them some relief, because they are so self-critical. Treatment is collaborative and pragmatic usually resulting in the following long-term benefits:

Increasing the skills you need to help manage your emotions.
Providing you with psychological tools to help you cope with externally imposed difficulties.

Finding solutions for main areas of stress and helping make most appropriate decisions.

Helping you become all you can be and helping you discover your path to fulfilment.

In addition to helping individuals recover from the aftermath of trauma, I offer treatment for anxiety, relationships, coaching, life and career related stress. I also help people push through feelings of sadness, loneliness, anxiety & depression into happiness. I strive to enable people to become all that they can be. I believe my work as a counsellor & therapist is enriched by my earlier work and training in the fields of education & business studies.

Photos & videos


£60.00 per session
Free initial telephone session

Health Insurance/EAP

  • BUPA
  • Axa Health
  • Health Assured
  • Aviva
  • Saga
  • Vitality
  • WPA

Additional information

When considering therapy it is natural not to be clear about the length and depth of engagement that is right for you. I recommend that you get in touch and we can arrange an initial meeting by phone (no charge). This will be an opportunity to get to know each other a little, see how it goes and then decide if therapy feels right.

My fees are £60         

Initial telephone consultation is free.

After 6 weeks I like to review so you can see what changes have occurred and then you decide whether to continue and how long for. Ending well is our focus from the start.

I require a minimum of 48 hours cancellation notice.

At the moment I offer online sessions via Zoom or Skype.

Start, just see how it goes and you may be pleasantly surprised.
I can offer day or evening sessions, some flexibility in session dates is possible.

online or face to face

 Muswell Hill N10, North London.

My Counselling in Muswell Hill, North London N10 address is easily accessible 

Tubes convenient for Muswell Hill N10 are: Highgate and Bounds Green

It is easy to access my premises in The City of London / Central London, London Bridge SE1, it is a 5 minute walk from London Bridge station, Bank, Liverpool St, Holborn, Westminster

When I work

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Online support (Zoom and Skype)
Central London
London Bridge
Muswell Hill

phone:       07769 218 281

Further information

For my regular articles on anxiety, stress, depression, relationships, self-esteem...... refer to:

Linking Thinking with Confidence

Tell yourself:

The people who look beautiful are the same as you, the difference is they tell themselves they look good, that shines through.
The people who say the most profound witty things as the same as you, they are letting go and being who they are.
The people who appear confident and relaxed are no different, they push themselves through fearful situations and tell themselves they can make it.
The people who are successful are the same as you, they tell themselves go ahead and develop your gifts and talents, set goals.
We are all the same as the people on TV. It's what we tell ourselves that makes the difference.   So give yourself a big hug, tell yourself you are alright, you can be wonderful. Is a change of thinking needed?       Anon

As a person who developed epilepsy as an adult, I had to learn how to turn a disability into an advantage and how to handle stress and anxiety. If panic attacks or General Anxiety Disorder is your issue I might be the right counsellor for you.

Published articles

132 Grosvenor Road, Muswell Hill, North London, N10 2DT

92-94 Tooley St, London Bridge, Central London, SE1 2TH

Type of session

In person

Types of client

Young people
Older adults
Employee Assistance Programme

Key details

Wheelchair user access

Wheelchair user access

Wheelchair-accessible premises should have step-free access for wheelchair users and individuals who are unable to climb stairs. If a Counsellor's premises aren't step-free, they may offer alternative services such as telephone/web-based appointments, home visits, or meeting clients in different location, so you can choose the option that suits you best.

You can contact the Counsellor to discuss the options available.

Under the Equality Act 2010 service providers have a duty to make reasonable adjustments to ensure that individuals with disabilities can access their service. You can read more about reasonable adjustments to help you to access services on the CAB website.

I offer flexible morning - evening sessions Mon to Fri. Early morning can be arranged. Online Tel/support also available Central and North London. Online counselling can be via Zoom or Skype. Session arrangements include a degree of flexibility.