About me
I'm Maya Tomse, a psychotherapist and couples therapist working entirely online. I have been in private practice for over ten years, and my work now centres on couples where ADHD, autism or AuDHD is part of the relationship — whether that means a formal diagnosis, a recent realisation, or simply a growing sense that the two of you experience the world very differently.
Most couples do not come to me because of a diagnosis, though. They usually come because something in the relationship has become difficult, stuck or increasingly painful, and they are no longer quite sure how they got there.
Perhaps one of you has started saying “it's fine” because trying to explain what is wrong feels too exhausting. Perhaps the other has gradually stopped asking because the conversations seem to end in the same place. Difficult subjects may have moved into text messages because talking face-to-face becomes overwhelming very quickly. You may both have apologised, tried to communicate differently, read books, listened to podcasts or promised that next time things will go better — and yet somehow the same patterns keep returning.
I rarely see this as a lack of effort, and very rarely as a lack of love.
More often, I see two people whose nervous systems, communication styles and needs can be very different, particularly during moments of stress, conflict or emotional intensity. One partner may need more space while the other needs reassurance. One may need time to process before speaking, while the other needs to talk things through immediately. One may become overwhelmed by the intensity of a conversation while the other experiences withdrawal as rejection.
Without a shared understanding of what is happening, both partners can easily begin to feel misunderstood, criticised or alone.
This is why I do not begin with simply asking couples to “communicate more”. For someone who is already overwhelmed, overstimulated or struggling to organise thoughts and emotions, more communication is not necessarily helpful.
Instead, I often start by helping you understand one another more clearly.
Not necessarily agreeing with each other. Not trying to become more alike. And not deciding who is right.
Understanding how each of you experiences the relationship, what happens to you during conflict, what helps you feel safe and connected, and what may unintentionally push the other person further away.
From there, it becomes much easier to build new ways of communicating, repairing after difficult moments and finding a relationship that works for both of you.
Training, qualifications & experience
How I work (theoretical orientation)
My original training is in person-centred and psychodynamic psychotherapy, and my work has developed into an integrative approach drawing on emotionally focused therapy, attachment theory, family and systemic therapy, psychosexual therapy and an understanding of emotional and nervous-system regulation.
I do not see one partner as the person who needs to be “fixed”, and I do not see neurodivergent traits as behaviours that need to be corrected.
I am interested in what sits underneath the patterns between you: how you each learned to protect yourselves, how you experience closeness and distance, what happens when one of you feels rejected or overwhelmed, and how earlier relationships and family experiences may still influence the relationship you are in today.
At the same time, therapy needs to be practical. Understanding why something happens matters, but so does finding different ways of responding when it happens again.
The first session
I see the first session as an opportunity for all of us to understand whether working together feels like a good fit.
Couples therapy is very relational, and if the fit does not feel right, the work is unlikely to be as helpful as it could be. I therefore prefer to use the first full session rather than offering short introductory calls.
During this first meeting I usually ask quite a lot of questions and take some notes so that I can begin to understand your relationship, your history together, the difficulties that have brought you to therapy and what each of you would like to change. I tend not to take notes in the same way during later sessions, when the work becomes much more conversational and focused on what is happening between us in the room.
Practical information
All of my sessions take place online by secure video.
I work with couples across the UK and internationally where time zones allow.
Alongside couples therapy, I work with individuals, including people who want to understand their relationship better even when their partner is not yet ready to come to therapy.
If you would like to get a little more of a sense of how I think and work before deciding whether to contact me, you are very welcome to visit my website at mtcounselling.co.uk.
I write regularly about neurodivergent relationships, including ADHD and autism in couples, rejection sensitivity, emotional regulation, communication differences and what can help when one partner is unsure about coming to therapy.
For those who want to know more about my qualifications
I completed my BSc in Psychology at the University of Ljubljana in Slovenia. During my undergraduate studies, my research focused on work-related stress and burnout, with further research later completed at the University of Gothenburg in Sweden.
I then went on to complete an MA in Psychotherapy and Counselling at the University of Edinburgh in the UK. For my Master's research, I explored one of our earliest and most significant relationships — the relationship between mother and child.
It was through this work that I became increasingly interested in early relationships, attachment and the ways in which our experiences of closeness, safety and connection can continue to shape us well into adulthood.
This naturally led me towards working more closely with relationships and couples, and I went on to complete specialist training in Couples Counselling with Relationships Scotland.
Over the years, this interest has continued to develop — particularly around understanding what happens between two people when their different histories, attachment patterns, ways of communicating and, increasingly in my work, their different neurotypes meet within a relationship.
Member organisations
BACP is one of the UK’s leading professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy with around 60,000 members. The Association has several different categories of membership, including Student Member, Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP, Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Accred) and Senior Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Snr Acccred). Registered and accredited members are listed on the BACP Register, which shows that they have demonstrated BACP’s recommended standards for training, proficiency and ethical practice. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). Accredited and senior accredited membership are voluntary categories for members who choose to undertake a rigorous application and assessment process to demonstrate additional standards around practice, training and supervision. Individual members will have completed an appropriate counselling or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but they won’t appear on the BACP Register until they've demonstrated that they meet the standards for registration. Student members are still in the process of completing their training. All members are bound by the BACP Ethical Framework and a Professional Conduct Procedure.
Accredited register membership
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Alongside my specialisation in relationships and neurodiversity, I am passionate about supporting people through complex life transitions.
This interest comes from my own journey—growing up in Yugoslavia during the war and later living and working across many different countries, within different cultures and languages. I think I know what it means to navigate change, uncertainty, and belonging.
I’ve also changed professional paths more than once before finding my calling in psychotherapy.
Having lived in a large blended family and witnessed important relationships end and new ones form, I bring personal insight into the resilience and growth that can come from life’s turning points.
Therapies offered
Photos & videos
Fees
£100.00 - £245.00
Additional information
Individual Sessions (initial meeting and consecutive sessions) £100.00 / 50min
Couples Sessions (initial meeting and consecutive sessions) £135.00 / 50min
Extended Couples Sessions (initial meeting and consecutive sessions) £245.00 / 80min
*Longer sessions for deeper exploration of patterns, triggers and subconscious dynamics.*
*Some couples choose this from the start. Others move to it when fifty minutes keeps running out at the wrong moment. The extra half hour is not simply more time. It removes the pressure to step away from something difficult because the session is ending, and it allows us to stay with what is happening between you rather than only naming it.*
ALL FEES ARE FOR ONLINE SESSIONS (Zoom or WhatsApp).
If you want to book an initial meeting (couples and individual 50min sessions) you may do so straight away through the online booking system on my website https://www.mtcounselling.co.uk/book-counselling-services-online/ if there is space or, alternatively get in touch via email info@mtcounselling.co.uk For extended 80min sessions, please, enquire directly via email.
When I work
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Further information
I am registered with The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). I adhere to their codes of ethics and practice and my work is fully supervised and insured.
