Fran Jeffes BA(Hons) Integrative MBACP Registered Dip.NLP Couples/Individual

Fran Jeffes  BA(Hons) Integrative MBACP Registered Dip.NLP Couples/Individual

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The Wilbury Clinic
64 Wilbury Road
Hove
BN3 3PY

Hove
East Sussex
BN3

077882 99918

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About me

Are you experiencing a feeling you no longer want, or is there a situation you would like to see changed?   Counselling offers a safe place to talk things through, finding better ways to experience life.   You may wish to discuss difficult relationships, stressful events or feelings of loneliness. We can go at your pace and I can support you, as feelings are felt and thoughts explored. You don't have to be facing a crisis to have therapy. It can be helpful at any time of life.

I offer safe, confidential, non-judgemental counselling for a range of issues including anxiety, depression, bereavement, panic, recovery from trauma (including emotional trauma) and difficulties with relationships (partnerships, family situations or friendships). I am an integrative counsellor which means I use a variety of theories in supporting our work together.

I offer clients the following ways of working for you to choose from:

  • talking things through in order to make sense of what has happened, and to put things in perspective;
  • making sense of a specific problematic event that sticks in your mind;
  • problem-solving, planning and decision-making;
  • changing behaviour;
  • negotiating a life transition or developmental crisis;
  • dealing with difficult feelings and emotions;
  • undoing self-criticism and enhancing self-care;
  • dealing with difficult or painful relationships;

Often clients find it helpful to work on these issues on a step-by-step basis. One of the ways that therapy may help is that I can work with you to disentangle the various strands of the problem, and help you to decide what needs to be dealt with first.

A flexible, personalised approach to helping you

Different clients are helped in different ways. Some find it more helpful to express their feelings - sadness, anger, anxiety, fearfulness. Other clients find it more helpful to take a rational approach to their problems, and use the therapy to 'think things through' on such issues as family issues, separation and divorce, or other. Others may enjoy more teaching about how we relate to one another and why we behave in certain ways. Clients may shift, over the course of therapy, from finding one kind of activity helpful to then preferring another.

Over the years I have helped clients as they have transformed their situations. Through our work together clients have made the following life changes :

  • Many have improved their family issues.
  • Our work has helped to quieten the 'inner critic' or 'judge'.
  • Using cognitive behavioural therapy (cbt) hey were able to find ways of coping with automatic negative thoughts, lowering their anxiety.
  • Others came to terms with painful losses alleviating their depression.
  • Some gained understanding and acceptance of the past.
  • Many experienced a new self-confidence and the ability to make new life choices.

My approach provides you a deeper understanding around your experiences, giving you the opportunity to explore different options. Valuing your unique potential, we can focus on your priorities. By working through and clarifying your thoughts and feelings, I can support you in becoming more self-aware and changing low self-confidence and low self-esteem toward becoming more assertive.

Gaining personal insight and building self-esteem will help you to feel more in control of life. As we explore your experiences and understand events, I can support you when you feel sad, angry, embarrassed or frightened. I can help you to think through any changes you may wish to make, and explore different approaches to problems.

Our work may explore where unhelpful reactions first began. For example whilst it may have been an automatic response for a child to become submissive toward a bullying teacher, as an adult it will be necessary to develop a wider range of responses to bullying, rather than being triggered and limited to past reactions. Clients able to discover these connections are able to access more empowered choices and responses.

You may want to talk about current relationships where you are thinking that something is not right and you are beginning to lose self-confidence. You might think you are experiencing emotional abuse but are uncertain as to what that is. So what is emotional abuse? Physical abuse is easier to see and identify, by its very nature. Emotional abuse can be more subtle, and for a long time, you may not even be aware that it's happening, but if your partner is constantly putting you down about your looks, personality, beliefs, or other things you hold dear, you may want to start asking yourself if the relationship is actually healthy.

In my counselling work I integrate a variety of theoretical approaches (see below), to meet the needs of each unique client. Exploring problems can help you understand your thoughts and feelings. Gaining personal insight will lead to finding better ways of coping. Talking things through brings about a clearer perspective; setting goals and developing new skills can transform behaviours that seem stuck; providing information about mood swings or an 'inner critical voice' can normalise habitual patterns and help bring about the motivation for change.

Testimonials from past clients

These past client's have kindly given me permission to print a copy of their emails following our work together.

P.M. wrote:

I have found my counselling to be illuminating and insightful.  It is one of the best personal investments I have ever made in my health and well-being - it's totally worth doing.  What I have found most encouraging is being heard.  I have been afraid to speak up, thinking that what I had to say was not valid or even interesting.  But what I've experienced is the opposite.  The whole experience has been incredibly helpful.
I know that this life is a journey and that I will continue to experience its ups and downs, but I now have a better understanding of them because of the help and support I have received.  I have begun to see myself in a different and more healthy way.  I feel more whole and I now have hope.  I am more enabled as a person.  Thank you Fran!

L.B. wrote:

I went to visit Fran after some very painful family issues rose to the surface, that I thought had been dealt with over 20 years ago. She walked with me through this difficult time in my life helping me to talk about and understand these issues, my anxiety and my feelings. Fran was so kind, gentle and nurturing. I felt very at ease. She helped me release so much pain, shame and guilt that I had been carrying for so many years. Such a blessing.

A.B. wrote:

I had counselling with Fran for several months and found it to be a very positive experience. It was a good balance between dealing with my anxiety of that week and exploring how these feelings may have arisen in my past and why they kept recurring. By unpicking some of my past experiences I was able to begin to cope better on a daily basis. I also found Fran's explanations of theories around anxiety helpful in enabling me to understand why I reacted in certain situations. I found Fran to be very professional and respectful of my beliefs.

What to expect  

When we first meet you can get a sense of how counselling works, asking me any questions and queries you may have. I ask you to help me get a sense of how you have been feeling over the past month and how you are coping with life.  Hearing some of the details of what has brought you to counselling, you can tell me about your hopes for therapy.

I always pace our work carefully so that I can really understand any anxiety or depression, and what you are thinking. My work is to help you make sense of your experiences and for us together, to help you find better ways of living.

I am an experienced counsellor and have worked with many clients. I am a Registered member of the BACP and can offer you short-term crisis prevention work or longer therapy.

Individual sessions are for 50 minutes on a weekly basis in Hove.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be a helpful way of lowering anxiety and lifting depressing thoughts.

Professor Mark Williams, former director of the Oxford Mindfulness Centre, says that mindfulness means knowing directly what is going on inside and outside ourselves, moment by moment.

"It's easy to stop noticing the world around us. It's also easy to lose touch with the way our bodies are feeling and to end up living 'in our heads' – caught up in our thoughts without stopping to notice how those thoughts are driving our emotions and behaviour," he says.

"An important part of mindfulness is reconnecting with our bodies and the sensations they experience. This means waking up to the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of the present moment. That might be something as simple as the feel of a banister as we walk upstairs."

"Another important part of mindfulness is an awareness of our thoughts and feelings as they happen moment to moment."

"It's about allowing ourselves to see the present moment clearly. When we do that, it can positively change the way we see ourselves and our lives."


How mindfulness helps mental wellbeing


Becoming more aware of the present moment can help us enjoy the world around us more and understand ourselves better.

When we become more aware of the present moment, we begin to experience afresh things that we have been taking for granted.

"Mindfulness also allows us to become more aware of the stream of thoughts and feelings that we experience," says Professor Williams, "and to see how we can become entangled in that stream in ways that are not helpful.

"This lets us stand back from our thoughts and start to see their patterns. Gradually, we can train ourselves to notice when our thoughts are taking over and realise that thoughts are simply 'mental events' that do not have to control us."

"Most of us have issues that we find hard to let go and mindfulness can help us deal with them more productively. We can ask: 'Is trying to solve this by brooding about it helpful, or am I just getting caught up in my thoughts?'"

Couples Counselling

Firstly, well done for considering couples counselling. My work with couples is for those considering staying together and wishing to improve the quality of their relationship, as well as those couples who are wanting to navigate separation and divorce as amicably as possible.

Usually one of the couple has wanted to come to counselling more than the other. That’s quite normal.  During the therapy this can often change and hopefully by the end of our work, you will both recognize the benefits and changes that have occurred.  Couples usually attend for anything from 8 – 20 weeks, and longer.

Counselling is a process of talking through issues, hearing how each other are thinking and feeling and agreeing upon the way forward.  Sometimes it feels worse before it can feel better.  The process requires a committed attitude and the will to try out new ways of relating with each other.

Couples therapy includes using a specific therapy known as Emotionally Focused Therapy or EFT. This therapy looks at relational patterns that have become stuck, or conflictual. The most common of these patterns is the habit of one partner criticising and pursuing the argument followed by the other person defending themselves and withdrawing. Often clients are dealing with issues which include a loss of trust, or anger or fear. Using EFT therapy I will observe your particular patterns and exploring these together we will work on new, alternative ways of communicating. We will work together and I will help you to notice any particular patterns.

Couples therapy begins with an initial meeting with you both followed by a single session each. This session is to get to know you a little as individuals before coming back together as a couple. During the single session I will complete an assessment in which I gather some personal details about your lives. This will include practical details, information about your health and wellbeing, the reason for your seeking counselling at this time, and what you hope to gain from attending therapy.

John Gottman, considered by many to be the leading researcher on marital success and failure has stated definitively that many more marriages die of neglect than die of conflict over differences. Even the best of marriages have irreconcilable differences that need at least occasionally to be addressed, even if they can't always be resolved. The act of acknowledging and addressing them respectfully is a loving act that can strengthen the marital bond even if there is no "resolution". And as the late M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled has said, "A Failure to confront is a failure to love." When we consistently fail to bring love in any of its many forms to our relationships, we run risks far greater than we may realize. Sometimes we see the end coming before it's too late and if we act quickly and intentionally, we can not only save our relationship, but we can restore it to a degree of integrity and trust far greater than anything that we had previously experienced. Many of us have personally experienced how such crises can make our relationships "stronger at the broken places." https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201204/the-price-success

Couples therapy may include some educational teaching around relational patterns and emotional mood swings. If there has been a betrayal we may explore the process of grief and loss and how to restore trust within the relationship.

I also work with couples navigating separation and divorce. Amongst other things I can help with your planning over children's visitation hours, holiday arrangements and other previously shared events.

Couples sessions are for 50 minutes on a weekly basis in Hove.

Meeting online - VSee

Meeting online is no longer a second-best solution. With its own merits, it is something that is different to, but not inferior to face-to-face therapy. Some of my sessions are conducted via VSee.

Research has found that VSee therapy can be as effective as face-to-face. In fact, there are times when online therapy can bring out a level of depth and progress that in-person session cannot. In a nutshell:

Have you ever felt that traveling to your therapist’s office, settling to the new environment and checking in, you are no longer able to connect with the emotional materials that most need to surface? These may be the times where you feel frustratingly numb and empty, and unable to connect. This is understandable, especially if disconnecting have been part of your way of protecting yourself from feeling emotionally vulnerable. Many people have found having therapy from home allows them to feel safer, more at ease and in control. Being in the comfort of your own home can enable you to feel more at ease and in control, so you can open up in your own time.

Meeting online can bring out a level of depth and progress that in-person session cannot.  Having someone with you in the here-and-now of your battles can alleviate the loneliness that many sensitive and intense individuals have carried all their lives.

Online sessions are for 50 minutes, weekly or bi-weekly, at £45.00 per session.

My therapy rooms are located in Hove, The Wilbury Clinic, 64 Wilbury Road, BN3 3PY.

Training, qualifications & experience

BA (Hons) Integrative Counselling (BACP Accredited 4 year training)

BA (Hons) Fine Art

Diploma in Neuro Linguistic Programming - NLP (INLPTA)

Couples and Relationship Counselling Qualification - Basingstoke Counselling Services

I am a Registered Member of the BACP, am fully insured, and adhere to the BACP's Ethical Framework (2018).

I receive regular supervision with an Accredited Supervisor and attend ongoing continual professional development (CPD).

My experience spans Agency, Charity and private practice work throughout Hampshire, West Sussex and East Sussex.

I have gained experience in working with:

  • people experiencing challenging relationship issues
  • fear of dependency
  • low self-esteem
  • individuals repeating unwanted relationship patterns
  • feeling lonely
  • couples navigating separation and divorce
  • feelings of overwhelm that lead to sabotaging friendships
  • exploring how relational patterns originating in childhood persist and dominate your relational styles in adult life
  • people struggling with low self-confidence
  • couples navigating family changes e.g. children leaving home and/or retirement
  • individuals coming to terms with what retirement means and how to create a new meaningful life
  • individual's who feel stuck in life and can't seem to find their own voice
  • postnatal depression
  • individual's for whom emotional abuse has been their experience
  • inner-child work
  • two-chair work
  • women who have experienced pregnancy loss through miscarriage, abortion, stillbirth or termination
  • women undergoing IVF
  • generalised anxiety disorder, panic anxiety with depression, stress and depression
  • others just unable to cope at the moment and feeling sad
  • recovery from childhood trauma (including child sexual abuse)
  • recovery from rape
  • recovery from childhood witnessing of domestic violence
  • recovery from childhood domestic violence
  • individuals working on ongoing family issues

Member organisations

ACC
BACP

Accredited register membership

Other areas of counselling I deal with

  • Mindfulness

    Professor Mark Williams, former director of the Oxford Mindfulness Centre, says that mindfulness means knowing directly what is going on inside and outside ourselves, moment by moment.

    "It's easy to stop noticing the world around us. It's also easy to lose touch with the way our bodies are feeling and to end up living 'in our heads' – caught up in our thoughts without stopping to notice how those thoughts are driving our emotions and behaviour," he says.

    "An important part of mindfulness is reconnecting with our bodies and the sensations they experience. This means waking up to the sights, sounds, smells and tastes of the present moment. That might be something as simple as the feel of a banister as we walk upstairs."

    "Another important part of mindfulness is an awareness of our thoughts and feelings as they happen moment to moment."

    "It's about allowing ourselves to see the present moment clearly. When we do that, it can positively change the way we see ourselves and our lives."


  • How mindfulness helps mental wellbeing
    Becoming more aware of the present moment can help us enjoy the world around us more and understand ourselves better.

    When we become more aware of the present moment, we begin to experience afresh things that we have been taking for granted.

    "Mindfulness also allows us to become more aware of the stream of thoughts and feelings that we experience," says Professor Williams, "and to see how we can become entangled in that stream in ways that are not helpful."

    "This lets us stand back from our thoughts and start to see their patterns. Gradually, we can train ourselves to notice when our thoughts are taking over and realise that thoughts are simply 'mental events' that do not have to control us."

    "Most of us have issues that we find hard to let go and mindfulness can help us deal with them more productively. We can ask: 'Is trying to solve this by brooding about it helpful, or am I just getting caught up in my thoughts?'"

  • I also work to help with personal development, self-awareness, and emotional growth. Life coaching can be a way to walk through life changes, facilitating an increase in personal resources, developing more resilliance and gaining a deeper understanding of your personal identity. Finding the self-esteem needed to navigate student life, career progression, family life changes and other life stages is vital to making the choices you need and want. Knowing how to represent yourself in relationships with dignity and respect enables you to embrace a vision for your life, to relate authentically and meet your needs in appropriate life giving ways. Life coaching as well as general counselling helps with the following:

  • Depression
  • Feeling lonely
  • Anxious thoughts, anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Couples navigating life changes; children leaving home; retirement
  • Relationship issues
  • Separation and divorce
  • Postnatal depression
  • Low self-esteem
  • stress
  • general mental health
  • Dependency; co-dependency;
  • Family issues
  • Low self-confidence
  • Mood swings
  • Being overly tearful and feeling sad
  • Family issues
  • Bereavement and losses
  • Emotional abuse
  • Flashbacks
  • Retirement
  • Peri-menopause
  • menopause

Therapy can be a way to walk through life changes, facilitating an increase in personal resources, developing more resilliance and gaining a deeper understanding of your personal identity.

Photos & videos

  • Rooms at the Wilbury

Fees

I offer flexible therapy hours

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday am-pm.

Sessions are weekly, at the same time and day every week in Hove.

Session fees   -       individuals: £45   - 50 minute session.

                                    couples: £65   - 50 minute session.

I offer a student concession:         £35   - 50 minute session.

Payment may be made through BACS, cash or card machine.

Further information

Previous clients have given me permission to include a copy of their emails to me.

P.M. wrote:

I have found my counselling to be illuminating and insightful.  It is one of the best personal investments I have ever made in my health and well-being - it's totally worth doing.  What I have found most encouraging is being heard.  I have been afraid to speak up, thinking that what I had to say was not valid or even interesting.  But what I've experienced is the opposite.  The whole experience has been incredibly helpful.
I know that this life is a journey and that I will continue to experience its ups and downs, but I now have a better understanding of them because of the help and support I have received.  I have begun to see myself in a different and more healthy way.  I feel more whole and I now have hope.  I am more enabled as a person.  Thank you Fran!

L.B. wrote:

'I went to visit Fran after some very painful family issues rose to the surface, that I thought had been dealt with over 20 years ago. She walked with me through this difficult time in my life helping me to talk about and understand these issues, my anxiety and my feelings. Fran was so kind, gentle and nurturing. I felt very at ease. She helped me release so much pain, shame and guilt that I had been carrying for so many years. Such a blessing.

My rooms are located at:-

The Wilbury Clinic

64 Wilbury Road, Hove, BN3 3PY

The clinic is located at the top end of Wilbury Road, Hove, near the junction with Cromwell Road and can be reached by:

Train: Hove Station is a 10 minute walk.

Please ring the Clinic bell to the right of the door.

There is on road parking at £1p/h or £5 for a whole day. It is also on bus routes (1's, 2's, 5's, 49) getting off at Second Avenue at the Church Road end of Wilbury Road. Or the number 7 stops just round the corner on Cromwell Road. It is also just a 5 minute walk from Hove train station.

For more details of location and transport please see: http://thewilburyclinic.co.uk/contact-us/

Maps & Directions

Hove, BN3 3PY
Hove, BN3

Type of session

Online counselling: Yes
Telephone counselling: Yes
Face to face counselling: Yes
Home visits: No

Practical details

Sign language: Unspecified
Other languages: None

Accessibility

Accessibility information
Wheelchair access: Unspecified

The clinic in Hove has 5 deep steps approaching the entry door. The counselling rooms are on the ground floor.

Availability

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday AM and PM.

Types of client

Adults
Older adults
Couples