Dee Smart

I specialise in Couple and Family Relationships. I am an experienced Relate Practitioner, Clinical Supervisor, Counselling & Personal Development Lecturer and the founding member of the Berkshire Relationship & Family Therapy Centre (BRFT) based in Wokingham, Berkshire.

The agencies I work with are Thames Valley Police, Children's Services, Mediation Services, Women's Refuge Agencies, Social Services, Law Firms, Religious and Educational Institutions.

MY WAY OF WORKING

As a Systemic Relationship and Family Psychotherapist, Coach and Mediator, the people I work with are:

• Couples
• Family Groups
• Work Groups
• Placement Trainees for Supervision
• Qualified Practitioners for Supervision

Systemic Therapy

This explores how individuals operate within the many 'systems' they have in their lives e.g. couple relationships, families, friends, work groups etc. We do not live in a vacuum, we are relational beings and every relationship we have may impact us either positively or negatively, and is ever-changing.

I integrate a range of therapeutic approaches to enable you to reach conclusions about your life and find your voice. Every individual I see is valued unconditionally, as each will have their own individual story and perception which has played a major role.

Relationship Therapy

A couple-relationship brings two separate and unique individuals together who have different ways of viewing the world developed by their cultural influences, religious beliefs, education, aspirations, and parental conditioning. These values and beliefs are bound to clash causing misinterpretations and assumption-making as time goes on.

My role is to help both individuals understand each other's perceptions of their reality whilst helping them to find ways forward, whether it is together as a couple, or as individuals who have decided to separate.

Family Therapy

By the time a person has come to therapy, the stories they have for themselves and their lives may have become completely dominated by problems that work to oppress them; these are often created within their family system from childhood.

These kinds of stories can invite a powerful negative influence on the way people see their lives and capabilities within themselves as it can often be reinforced by family members around them and how they are treated i.e. through language and behaviour e.g. “You're the failure” - "You're the clever one" etc...

We will explore these and other issues together as a group in order to create new stories which will help to uplift each member of the family and enable them to feel valued.

Some Relationship Issues Highlighted...

Infidelity

During arguments each person uses past examples of their partner's bad’ behaviour as ammunition whenever a mistake is made thus continuing the cycle of distrust, especially if there has been an affair or infidelity they are trying to overcome, causing an impasse.

Betrayal of the couple relationship can be considered fundamental to infidelities and affairs. Betrayals may not always involve a sexual connection with another person; internet porn, ‘sexting’ or close emotional relationships are considered just as painful to many partners.

Parenting Styles

Children see and hear everything, they may not overtly comment to this effect but the behaviour they witness is teaching them how to deal with conflict, and they will mimic their role models.

Differing parenting styles is another recurrent theme in relationship therapy and there are tried and tested techniques and strategies that will enable parents to tweak and compromise their individual style in order to demonstrate a more united front for the health and well-being of their children. Coaching tends to help couples in this area.

Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse

Sometimes relationships can become more volatile in nature, with one or both partners unable to control their anger and frustration due to built-up resentment of unresolved issues. This may develop into controlling behaviours such as verbal, emotional and, or physical abuse. Couples can become trapped in a dysfunctional and sometimes co-dependent relationship of control, guilt, fear, and perhaps coercive control.

If both individuals are willing to engage in the therapeutic process and are able to take responsibility and accountability for their own actions then it is possible for a relationship to be brought back from the brink of despair.

Sexual Issues

Some couples complain about having different sex drives, or their partner may want to experiment with more ‘kinky’ sex toys or fetishes. Perhaps one partner would like to explore ‘role-play’ scenarios and fantasies that they’d like to share with their partner. Or perhaps the couple has ‘gotten out of the habit’ of love-making and now just feels awkward talking about sex or having any type of intimacy.

All of these issues and others can be explored openly and honestly both individually and collaboratively, within relationship therapy. I am trained to coach you into becoming closer sexually if that’s what you both want for your relationship.

A Way Forward

I provide a safe and confidential space where thoughts and feelings can be freely expressed openly and honestly without judgement which allows couples, families, and individuals to fully 'hear' themselves and/or each other, sometimes for the first time in a long time.

More often than not, friends and family have their own agenda because they too have invested in your issue, relationship, and/or life. As a Relationship & Family Therapist, the only agenda I have is to give you the best service I possibly can, individually, collectively and ethically. My aim is to help you become your authentic self and the best that you can possibly be for yourself, for your partner and for your family.

• Issues related to Religion and Beliefs

• Differences in Cultural Value Systems
• Clashing Parenting Styles
• Generational Influences / Oppression

Clients:

Individual Therapy

Relationship Therapy

Mediation Service 

Family and Group Therapy

Initial Consultations are 60 minutes

Personal Therapy is 60 minutes

Joint Relationship Therapy is 90 minutes

• Sessions can be open-ended or short-term

• Enhanced DBS

• Concessions are available for benefits claimants (documented)

• Payments are made a week in advance by BACS

Next Steps

If you are happy with what you've read so far and you feel that I might be able to help then, please:

Send me an email or text message with your telephone number requesting an initial consultation, and I will respond via email or text to arrange a suitable appointment for us both.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Dee.