Catherine Sonaram-Taylor Complex Trauma/Abuse & Relationship Therapist
Ingledale Therapy Centre
1 Tanhouse Road
I work as a Complex Trauma/Abuse & Relationship Therapist in Oxted and worldwide, supporting both individuals and couples who are are "stuck" with no way out. This feeling can sometimes be associated with trauma, historical childhood sexual abuse or dissociation (a sense of detachment from your former self), suicidal thoughts, identity issues "Who am I?"
This is about managing the unspeakable issues, which many people hide through shame or guilt and creates is own isolation and loneliness within a person that other people and other therapists misunderstand through lack of experience of working within this field.
In most cases, despite your best efforts of trying to resolve these issues privately with medication or receive counselling elsewhere; this to some degree has been unsuccessful.
There is nothing we cannot work through together, to make your life easier. With changes taking place all around you, what happens when you are "stuck" about how you think or feel about family member, partner, work, friends, situations or yourself?
Before specialising in this area, I realised a number of my clients were experiencing a variety of symptoms around stress, anxiety and depression in adulthood, which were familiar to them as a child. I understood the complexity of what would happen if this continued to develop into trauma if untreated, over a period of time.
Anybody can be affected by emotional and psychological issues as a child or an adult. If there is a history of abuse, it can affect their personal, work and family relationships. Hidden feelings of extreme shame, guilt or anger; neglect, rejection, abandonment, panic attacks, low self esteem, trust/acceptance. Other forms of abuse emotional/physical/psychological, which involves manipulation, separation, divorce, depression, anxiety and stress, which has left a person with low self confidence in trying to trust people again.
This is very important working within this field of counselling & psychotherapy. I provide support, compassion, patience, awareness and understanding about the constant on going difficulties you face and how bringing these complex issues could be difficult for you.
EXPERIENCES AND SYMPTOMS FELT BY CLIENTS
Experiences can sometimes leave a person with a mixture of feelings and thoughts covering some issues of trauma involving self-harm, dissociative state (as though the trauma was happening to somebody else leaving a sense of numbness as though in shock or blank thoughts); nightmares; flashbacks; loneliness; insecure; fearful; isolated; suicidal; withdrawn; distressed and many more. Including experience of working with people who find coping with daily life an issue or are in a relationship/family find they struggle to manage the conflict of a past trauma in relation to a current problem.
Managing a relationship in the aftermath of a personal trauma is isolating when you wish to too concern those around you. Especially when current problems are being avoided or ignored by one partner in the relationship and it is hard to carry on alone with all the responsibilities of every day life to cope with. It is challenging to try and want this relationship to continue in the hope some how it will all work out eventually, if only you could turn the clock back and start again. The reality is you cannot, but instead live in hope it would change as we lead busy life styles filled with responsibilities and stresses that caused the partnership to drift apart. Difficulties can happen at any life stage in a relationship. I offer a therapy service to support both of you and individually at the same time. In some cases, couples request to work together as an alternative to working separately.
Issues addressed in relationship therapy can be associated with loneliness, low self esteem, hurt and pain, sadness, guilt, shame, lack of experience by being in a relationship and can turn into a habit or addiction eg. adult pornography, gambling, drinking, impulse spending, multiple sexual partners and drug use.
INFERTILITY/PREGANCY & CHILDBIRTH TRAUMA (Perinatal and Postnatal Depression)
In many cases, women awaiting IVF treatment who have been told they are unable to conceive for some unknown medical reasons or developed infertility issues struggle to regain their self-esteem and confidence after experiencing a sense of despair and loss after facing such emotional and mental challenges to end in failure. I work with women who have been traumatised by the experience and struggle to face ordinary life again in the knowledge they other future attempts may prevent being successful and it affects both their work life and relationships.
Birth Trauma can be traumatising to mother/father/baby and relatives at the time when an unexpected complications arise before, during after a birth of a baby. Tiredness, exhaustion, unable to sleep and cope with the sudden dramatic emotional/psychological changes following many months or years afterwards (associated with prenatal and postnatal depression). Either parent may feel anxious and fearful about another pregnancy any time in the future; if the trauma is not dealt with effectively it can go on to be a legacy, which may affect you as a individually or as a parent.
By Train - Ingledale Therapy Centre is in walking distance of the Hurst Green station (5mins) or taxi from Oxted station, with main line direct services via London Victoria; London Bridge; East Croydon including from East Grinstead and Uckfield.
By Car - It is accessible from A22 & A25 (10mins from Junction 6 M25), with free on site parking.
Training, qualifications & experience
QUALIFICATIONS AND BACKGROUND
Assessor & Therapist in Advance Complex Trauma (CPTSD) and Dissociative Disorders/DID (Diagnosis endorsed by NHS Choices) :-
Associated with vulnerability, exposed, despondent, listless, stressed, lost, depressed struggle to cope with daily life, sense of hopelessness about the future, identity issues "Who am I?"
Sensorimotor Psychotherapist (Managing all aspects of trauma):-
Trauma (Sudden impact in the aftershock of a minor/major incident or life event and remains in a person's system long after the event in various ways.)
Developmental Trauma (Growing up with trauma during childhood, including being unable to develop a healthy loving nurturing relationship with one or both parents).
Somatic Trauma Therapist - (Cope, recover and manage trauma from within the body aimed at relieving and resolving the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder).
Couples/Relationship Therapist -
- intimacy issues
- communication problems
- IVF fertility/IVF issues
- intimacy issues
- emotional/psychological abuse
- life/death experiences
- family/midlife crisis
- suicidal issues
- long term medical conditions
- family/parenting issues
- high anxiety with panic attacks
Critical Incident Stress Management
I provide immediate intervention within days of an unexpected incident or crisis, which reduces symptoms of traumatic stress within people who have been directly affected to reduce stress, anxiety or depression, which could develop into Post Traumatic Stress.
For further information, please contact me via email Catherine@ClearingThoughts.co.uk or telephone 0704 090 1520.
I worked in the South East (London; Kent; Surrey; West Sussex) for local government; Childhood Sexual Abuse/Rape Counselling service; Family Counselling service; Christian Counselling service; Mental Health Charity organisation; Male Rape/Abuse Counselling service, a West Sussex College with adolescents 16+/mature students.
I currently work with a Mental Health Care Provider both as a Complex Trauma & Couples Therapist/CISM Debriefer and in private practice.
As a member of the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), I work to their standards and code of ethics; plus I am listed with the BACP website & Accredited Voluntary Register regulated by the government.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Attachment disorder
- Binge-eating disorder
- Child related issues
- Drug abuse
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Feeling sad
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Panic disorder
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- Couples counselling
- Existential therapy
- Gestalt therapy
- Humanistic therapies
COUNSELLING & PSYCHOTHERAPY SESSIONS:-
~ Individual Therapy 60mins £100.00 - £120.00
~ Relationship Therapy 60mins £150.00 - £160.00 (Couples)
(Work) 01883 717277 (Reception - Leave a message for me to contact you.)
PLEASE NOTE:- If I am unable to take your call, please leave either a voicemail message or email to book an appointment with me, in person or on the telephone.
Clients are referred to me by private health providers (AXA/PPP Healthcare, BUPA, AVIVA), including various insurance and EAP companies.
All referrals from GP's surgeries or Private Medical Insurance companies, please send c/o Ingledale Therapy Centre.
Catherine is very good, made me feel at ease and offered good support. "I felt anxious as I didn't really know what to expect or if it would help." (Before) (After) "It has been beneficial and has helped me to understand why I feel the way I do about certain things." - Female 46+, Kent
"Optimistic. Didn't know if it would help." (Before) (After) "Grateful that I have been able to talk about everything, and allowed me to be emotional." - Male 59+, Surrey
"Catherine is good listener and can read between the lines to get to the root of your issue. I have always felt comfortable discussing my issues, knowing I am not being judged - just listened and understood. The sessions have been very calming and I always left feeling better than when I arrived! Catherine is obviously a very experienced and knowledgeable therapist." - Female 38+, London
"Extreme sadness, unable to function & think clearly. Catherine was a huge help to me, especially in areas regarding my sadness & moving forward." - Female 62+, Surrey
"I was confused; stressed; panicking and upset. She provided me with effective serious coping strategies and I have come away with a way forward. Have been guided to get to this position, more positive about the future; more relaxed and less panic at work." - Female 56+, Surrey
"Struggling to come to terms with my situation. Not seeing a way forward." (Before)(After) "Coming to terms with what has happened. I face the unknown with what I want in the future. Catherine was very help in giving me an insight to what has happened." - Male 41+ , West Sussex
"Very anxious; nervous; low mood due to circumstances elsewhere." (Before) (After) "Much, much better. My mood has increased and my anxiety has significantly lowered. Catherine is a very genuine and caring counsellor. Having someone to talk to who sympathised so much with my situation it was wonderful." - Male 35+, Surrey
"Troubled; stressed; anxious". (Before)(After) "I feel free, refreshed and ready to move on to what my next journey in life looks life or is going to be. She opened me up to different ways of thinking, and how to look at things, but also making me realise I am in the picture too." - Female 40+, London
"Fed up, depressed and needed help." (Before)(After) "Relieved, I have a clearer head and feel more positive about things." - Female 22+, Surrey
"I was put at ease and made to feel like I wasn't being judged. The sessions are deep without being aggressively so and managed in a way that mean't I never felt rushed. Before I felt low, like my existence didn't matter. Now it's like I have a sense of freedom. Much more confident and happy - I can enjoy life. Counselling has been life changing in that I feel like a different version of me. Catherine has opened my eyes up to my problems and causes." - Male 33+, West Sussex.
"I was in a very low place. I had no motivation or confidence in myself. I thought I was all washed up and would like to have retired from life." (Before) (After) "I am so much better now I realise this was not my fault. I have more confidence in myself now. However, I realise have started a journey now and that I have a way to go. I think Catherine has a great strength in empathy for her patients and she seems to how what I was thinking and feeling before I did." - Male 64+, Surrey
"Anxious, unsure, concerned about how life was going." (Before) (After) "Eager to live life and explore, more certain in myself. I got all that I needed and much more!" - Male 22+, Surrey
"Anxious, terrified, scared. I was not going to go on." (Before)(After) "I know how to control the emotions better to help me keep fighting. Catherine was very good at helping me understand why I feel what I do and how to mange it." - Female 36+, London
"Excellent experience, was anxious, stressed and exhausted. Now light, far more content and positive. It was far better than I could have imagined!" - Female 50+, Surrey
"A bit lost, no idea what to do or where to turn with the feelings I was having." (Before) (After) "I feel like I understand a lot more about the dynamics and reasoning for why I have done what I have done or reacted in ways I have previously. I have some now tools to help me with my everyday and a lot to ponder upon." - Female 42+ London
"I felt like a broken, despondent and drifting person. I had contemplated suicide and felt dark and lost. I thought my life as over." (Before) (After) "I feel amazing. Like a different person. I have a clearer sense of direction, I feel more emotionally balanced and in tune, and have a much deeper understanding of me. I would definitely recommend her. I felt she was caring, thoughtful, engaging and insightful. Always on hand if I ever had a crisis." - Male 47+ Surrey
"I was worried for my marriage and very distressed. Now, I am more solid. The quality of counselling was outstanding. So honest and cut through a lot whilst maintaining barriers around what we could realistically do in two months." - Female 40+ Surrey
"Pretty bad...Now, definitely somewhat better." - Male 53+ Surrey
"Very unhappy. In a black hole and knowing how to get out everyday." (Before) (After) "Only fall in the black hole every so often, not all the time. Excellent service, Catherine was warm and welcoming, she listened and understood. I would recommend to anyone having issues. It has helped me." - Female 43+ West Sussex
"I felt my marriage was ending. Catherine got in talking about difficult subjects, and now I have some tools to work with and I am much more hopeful!! Catherine was very good at keep us on course. She has been supportive to both of us. I have personally deal with some issue I was not aware of. This has worked for me personally." - Male 42+ West Sussex
"Quite stressed with a lot on my mind and feeling unable to think clearly." (Before) (After) "Very good. Problems unlocked and my thought process are much more free. Very relaxed." - Male 52+ West Sussex
"Very low.". (Before) (After) "Feel there is hope, and light at the end of the tunnel and belief in I can change and cope with things." - Female 41+ West Sussex
"Friendly, passionate about helping. Easy to talk to. Helped me in a moment of need when I was feeling suicidal, severely depressed, stressed, irritable. After eight sessions I feel better not severely depressed. Happy. Excited about the future. Huge weight has been lifted. - Thank you, you helped me so much in my moment of need." - Male 28+ Surrey
"Catherine has definitely helped our marriage and given us tools for the future. Was despondent and tired; feeling happy, hopeful and excited about the future." - Male 34+ London
"Catherine took me through a process of understanding my stress/anxiety & how to reduce the levels of stress. Very pleased, she challenged my perceptions." - Male 52+ Surrey
"Nervous, but also relief that there could be a solution to the problem. I now feel better, but there is a long way to go. It is a good service and was delivered in a calm, caring tones, but with serious undertones." - Female 34+ London
"It has been far more effective than I had anticipated. I now have a better sense of myself, therefore I am able to control myself better. I feel so much better. I know I've got some more work to do, but that doesn't scare me like it would of done before I started, so that is a fantastic feeling to be having!" - Male 20+ Kent
"Angry, Rage and Broken". (Before) (After) "Calm, focused and seeing things clearer" - Male 28+ South East London
"Very professional and very helpful. Catherine provides an excellent service. I was not very good before, but I am back to normal!" - Male, 63+ London
"Uncertain, scared, tense, negative, suicidal thoughts. - Now I am still uncertain at times, able to cope and reflective. The weekly session with Catherine & my wife was the only communication between the latter and myself. Catherine was able to diffuse heated situations and make conversations more constructive." - Male, 52+ Surrey
"I was very anxious, sleeping very poorly, unable to relax. Now, I feel better on all fronts." - Male, 49+ London
"I felt stressed, anxious, isolated and overwhelmed.". (Before) (After) "More balanced, able to engage with others again." - Female 39+ Kent
"Professional, committed to the success of the client. Very good to link issues or concepts to make it easier to understand. Really enjoyed her services. I was not good at all.". (Before) (After) "Much better, but several tools were shown to me to improve my situation further." - Male, 33+ London
"Overwhelmed and alone.". (Before) (After) "In control and more assertive. Catherine was very helpful and supportive with useful information." - Female, 62+ Surrey
"Very depressed and anxious about the future - trying to make sense of my mums diagnosis and impact or family was causing great distress.". (Before) (After) "Able to cope with the situation far better than before and manage the emotions which have such an obvious impact on me." - Male, 33+ West Sussex
"Stressed, depressed, sad, lonely, angry. - I am calmer, happier and have a much more clear mind. Has given me my confidence back to move forward with life and the decisions I am making." - Male, 35+ West Kent
"I was depressed, lost and scared - I found the process extremely empowering an educational.". (Before) (After) "On top of the world! I have clear vision of how I will carry myself in the future and I am embracing the challenge. Catherine was excellent, professional, tactful and insight-inducing." - Male, 45+ Surrey
"Worried about almost everything in my life. I felt hopeless. Now more positive about life and that my future will be ok. I can learn to deal with things better at home and work." - Male, 35+ Surrey
"Worried counselling would not work. It was far better than I had anticipated was given tools to help with issues that I have previously struggled with. Now I feel more relaxed - not much anxiety - more in control of situations both mentally and emotionally." - Male, 54+ Surrey
"Very happy with the quality and results. I was low; depressed; angry with myself - Now more positive and happier in my journey. Very comforting and straightforward." - Male, 54+ Surrey
"Very distressed and struggling to cope. She has really helped me to focus and think about where I want to go to next." - Male, 29+ Surrey
"Before I was very low - no control over my emotions and very anxious. Counselling with Catherine has been incredibly helpful - even though I was doubtful and resistant, Excellent it is at the same time it took away my anxiety." - Female, 63+ Surrey
"Shit!". (Before) (After) "Upbeat, I view myself in a different way - getting to accept and understand self more." - Male, 53+ Surrey
"On the surface, a mixture of happy and anxious. Not far beneath the surface, I doubted my own worth and I didn't like myself very much.". (Before) (After)"Complete. I feel all the parts of me that used to conflict and undermine each other, now sit together in one happy, self-accepting whole." - Male, 50+ Surrey
"Nervous, exhausted and lost.". (Before) (After) "Less anxious, calmer, more energy and I have clearer thoughts. Excellent service" - Female, 45+ Surrey
"Scared and very panicky about the whole process never had counselling before in my life. Now my confidence has improved and I like the new me who is developing." - Female, 35+ West Sussex
"Stuck in a rut, no way out.". (Before) (After) "Light at the end of the tunnel, more confident, have more respect and thoughts for myself. Thinking of number one for a change." - Male, 61+ West Kent
"I was unsure, overloaded and pressured. The quality of one to one, I felt Catherine listened to me and directed me. I feel encouragement to move forward positively with my goals instead of wasting them." - Male, 35+ Surrey
"Before I felt horrendous. Very experienced and professional therapist, boundaried with an excellent service." - Female, 51+ London
"Broken.". (Before) (After) "I have targets and hope. Catherine gives a sense of peace and allows me to take a step back." - Female, 30+ Surrey
"Anxious, emotional, tearful.". (Before) (After) "It felt important and therapeutic to make "breakthroughs." She is helpful and not afraid to tackle issues." - Male, 47+ Surrey
"Felt that I was understood and given ways to process/deal with my issues. I have very few sleep terrors now, which helps with my overall emotional feeling. Great service." -Female, 27+ West Kent
"I was struggling. Now I feel I have some so far, key thing being its not all about control. The quality was very high, Catherine opened my eyes up to a bigger picture than I realised." - Male, 56+ Surrey
"I was a mess. Now I have more control of what I need to do to improve." - Female, 39+ Surrey
"Poor, stressed, ill.". (Before) (After) "Liberated!" - Male, 63+ London
"She knows her stuff!!! I was nervous before, but I am calm and more relaxed." - Male, 47+ Surrey
"Before a mess and overwhelmed. I feel Catherine listened to what I needed and adapted her approach accordingly. Now I am calmer, more confident with a clearer understanding of the process at play." - Female, 39+ Surrey
"I was incredibly disorientated, anxious and in shock. Now much calmer and grounded in life. I feel the quality of counselling offered and support I received was outstanding. Thank you." - Female, West Sussex 37+
"Very anxious and could not stop worrying. Its been fantastic! Less anxious and I understand I need more time 'me' time." - Female, 36+ West Kent
"Very down and confused.". (Before) (After) "Have a better understanding of how to handle situations through work." - Male, 51+ London
"I was in a terrible bad place - now I am more positive. I looked forward to the sessions and they helped me look differently at things." - Male, 33+ Surrey
"Catherine has challenged my thinking which I have found helpful, especially her honesty - she doesn't give platitudes but instead realistic views." - Female, 45+ Kent
"When I was lost when I began. Able to deal and understand my triggers better; happier, more confident a lot further forward than when I first walked in." - Female, 30+ West Sussex
"It has been difficult at times confronting many difficult situations but I have felt supported and heard through out. It has been a great experience. Thank you."- Female, 34+ West Sussex
"I was very low, there was a lot going on in my life and felt it very hard just to keep afloat. - Today I am a lot more relaxed and in control of most situations and generally very happy." - Female, 55+ Surrey
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Sessions are held Monday -Thursday in Oxted or via FaceTime/Skype, with the last appointment at 8.30pm. Saturday appointments 11am-2pm.
Types of client
|Employee Assistance Programme|