Stephanie Allen

Time2Reflect Counselling Practice

Stephanie Allen

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to view my profile. I’d like to share a bit about myself and my work style, which I hope will give you insight into what I offer and help you determine if my approach aligns with your needs. 

Here are the different services I currently offer. 

Facebook Group for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse. I occasionally hold FREE support groups. Please contact me for details. 

Weekly Live Group Coaching and Q&A Session £50 Per Month 

Join our transformative monthly group subscription package, thoughtfully crafted for those of you who often find yourselves as people-pleasers and may have experienced the challenges of toxic relationships or narcissistic abuse. Together, we’ll embark on a journey to break free from the unconscious patterns that have held you back for too long.

This uplifting program is designed to empower you to transform your relationship with yourself, rediscover your authentic self, and enhance the quality of your life and connections with others. You are not alone in this journey; we’re here to support and uplift you every step of the way!

I’m excited to be live with you twice a week—once in the afternoon and once in the evening—to accommodate different schedules. During our weekly mindset sessions, I'll share valuable insights and techniques to help you improve your mental health and overall quality of life. Together, let’s create positive change and foster a community where everyone grows and flourishes. Join us; your journey to empowerment starts here!

Signs of People-Pleasing: If you frequently feel taken advantage of at work or by friends and family, consistently give more than you receive, and struggle to say no or establish boundaries, you may be exhibiting signs of people-pleasing behaviour. You might often prioritise the needs of others at the expense of your own well-being. 

During this time, I’ll share inspiring video testimonials from amazing individuals who have significantly improved their mental health, relationships, and overall well-being in just 12 weeks. Let’s embark on this journey together! 

 12-Week Transformation Package (Application Only)

Are you ready to take a bold step towards transforming your life? My 12-week Transformation Package is designed specifically for those who are eager to break free from anxiety, depression, and unhelpful thought and behaviour patterns.

Important: This is an application-only program, ensuring that each participant is truly committed to this transformative journey.

This journey is for you if you’re ready to say goodbye to what no longer serves you and open the door to a brighter, more fulfilling future.

I invite you to scroll to the bottom of the page and watch my heartfelt video, “Transform Your Life in 12 Weeks.” In it, you'll find inspiring video testimonials from clients just like you—individuals who faced overwhelming challenges but emerged victorious. They have conquered anxiety, left behind the burdens of people-pleasing, overcome fears of abandonment, and so much more.

If you’re interested in taking the next step, I encourage you to book a free clarity call with me. Together, we can explore your goals and how this package can help you achieve them. The total investment for this transformative journey is £3,000, and I am here to support you every step of the way.

Join me on this transformative journey and discover the power of change. You are not alone, and together, we can pave the way for a happier, healthier you!

 One to One Couselling or Coaching Sessions, £150.00 per session, 

When working together at the beginning, what can you expect?

When we first meet, this is when an assessment is done. I look to understand what your current difficulties are, and take some background information from you. This helps me gain insight into your past experiences and your current situation, alongside giving me an understanding of what it is you aim to get out of counselling. The information you provide me with should give me an indication into if I am the right counsellor for you or not. Then, if not, hopefully, I will be able to signpost you in the right direction.

You could think of the assessment as a two-way street. It's also your chance to determine if you feel comfortable working with me and engaging in meaningful discussions. Ultimately, what matters most is that when we meet, it feels right for you.

Subsequently, if we both agree counselling is going to be beneficial to you, we then go through the contract. The contact is a very important verbal agreement between us both which helps me to keep you safe. On the day we meet I will give you quite a few examples of how and why I would endeavour to keep you safe. And then, if you feel happy about our contract, our counselling session will commence. 

How I will view you as a person, and how this has an impact on how I chose to work with you.

I approach my work with a highly non-judgmental attitude, meaning I do not seek to criticise or condemn you for any of your past or present experiences or thoughts. I believe that we are all responses to our environments and that each individual is unique. For some, the environments they have encountered may have been so challenging that they developed coping mechanisms. While these coping mechanisms might be viewed as unhealthy, they were necessary at that time in our lives. Ultimately, they provided a way to cope in the moment or, at the most extreme levels, they became essential for survival.

Alongside this, I believe we always know what is best for us, and that you are the expert on you. You know what hurts, and you also know what heals. I look to you for your answers. I don’t give you advice, but I help you to search deep within yourself to gain your own clarity, and to know your own way forward.

The Counselling Process

Through the counselling process, we go on what I consider to be, a psychological journey together. You are always in control. You are the leader of the journey. I always go at your pace, never rushing you, and I only go to the places you feel you’re ready to take me. I’m not going to force you up a hill you don’t have the energy to climb; I always look to you for the direction. For example, even if there is a fork in your chosen path, and you are uncertain of which path to take, I help you weigh up and look at your options, but the decision of the best way forward always lies within you. However, sometimes on our journey you may take me to a very dark cave, that you may have visited frequently, and when this happens I may be able to help by shining a light between the cracks, helping to illuminate things for you.

Although I have never been on your journey before I know what tools I need to bring with me in order to keep you in a psychologically safe place, and this is a place, where you ultimately, have complete control. The journey is an inward one, and guides you on a path of self-discovery, finding the “real you”.

If I had to describe myself as an object to you (regarding the way I work) I guess I would say I was a mirror. The reason I say this is because I help you to take a clearer look at yourself, hopefully removing any severe distortions you may have in place, helping you to see yourself, more clearly and realistically.

As we work together I help you to have self-awareness, through self-understanding. Sometimes I may suggest books for you to read so I can provide you with a deeper understanding of a topic (relevant to any difficulties you may be experiencing) I may also give you work to take home such as thought records, if we both feel this is something that would help you.

So then, how does change happen?

Through the process of forming a non-judgemental relationship with you, in which you are free to express yourself openly and honestly, and most importantly, in which you are free to be you. We should be able to form an in-depth understanding, and be able to define together (with great clarity) what problems are standing in the way of you moving forwards to the quality of life, or way of being you desire.

If the problems or difficulties you are experiencing, have been around for quite some time, so much so, that they have just become ingrained and a part of who you are, then for some, change may be desirable, though equally (and understandably) very scary.

Working together we will be able to explore in depth, any fears or false beliefs you have about yourself, others, or the world, that may be getting in the way of you having the quality of life you want.

Once we have a good understanding of the problem, we can then look at goal setting together. To do this I measure with you, how your problem is affecting you in the here and now, and then we seek together to put a realistic, achievable, time scaled, action plan in place. Again, the action plan will be specifically tailored to you as a unique individual. The action plan will consist of the choices you make, as you have all the control. I believe this also helps to ensure you are not being set up to fail. You are the person who knows you best, you know what is realistic to you, and you also know what is achievable when it comes to your own goals.

So what if you’ve tried that before, it didn’t work, and you feel change is impossible?

Because change can be scary I recognise that for a lot of people they have a strong desire for change, however sometimes resistance sets in, and what they desire, and their actions may not actually match up.

In my experience of working with clients in the past, I have found this to be quite common. Therefore for me as a Counsellor, it is imperative I work equally with both parts of you (the parts that equally want opposing outcomes). For example, if you have a certain kind of addiction and you desperately want to change I work with the part of you that wants to change, and desires a better quality of life, alongside the part of you that finds yourself repeating the addictive behaviour over and over again, almost making you feel like you’re stuck on a treadmill wanting to move forward, but not actually getting anywhere.

Many of my clients have found working with them in this way to be very illuminating and helpful, as our actions and behaviour patterns are always speaking to us considerably louder than our words.

For some individuals, a self-sabotaging aspect of their personality may hinder their progress toward self-development and personal growth. This part of you might impact your relationships, though it can manifest in various areas of your life. You may find that a significant part of you craves a close and meaningful romantic relationship. This longing can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, creating a downward spiral that contributes to feelings of depression.

There are two parts within you. One part draws people in, while the other instinctively pushes them away whenever they get close. This pattern is part of a longstanding history for you. The conflict arises from having mixed emotions that lead to opposing desires. It's no wonder you often feel confused and disoriented. To foster genuine change, both of these parts must be acknowledged, expressed, and understood. Only then can you find balance and encourage positive, constructive growth.

For more details please don't hesitate to contact me

A few examples of some areas that people may find themselves stuck

Stuck in Toxic Relationships

The part of us that stays stuck in a toxic relationship but desperately wants out, versus the part of us that needs to stay.  

There are many different reasons that people may seek counselling. For example, some people may be stuck in a toxic relationship with an abusive partner, and not be able to leave, even though it makes no logical sense to themselves, why they actually stay. Therefore, for a deeper understanding of why they stay stuck, there is a possibility the answers we are looking for, could be found within the subconscious. Again working with these different parts I feel, helps us to work together to have a deeper understanding of the root cause of the problem itself.

Stuck in a Toxic Relationship with Ourselves

Think about it for a minute, if you are in a toxic relationship with your partner, you can always have a little time (at some point hopefully) without him/her, can’t you. But what if the person you are having a toxic relationship with Is actually yourself?

Well, for a start you never get a break from yourself. As strange as this concept may first sound, I believe the relationship we have with ourselves is the most important relationship of all.

The reason I say this is if we view ourselves from a highly critical position, and we are really hard on ourselves, listening to our own inner critical voice, putting ourselves down, beating ourselves up, for things we did do, or simply failed to do. If we are telling ourselves on a consistent basis, how worthless we are, how unlovable we are, we begin to believe it. Yet ironically enough, if you had a friend who repeated these awful things to you, like a record on repeat, relentlessly, I imagine you would be trying to avoid them like the plague!

So you see, I believe strongly, that if we want truly meaningful relationships with others, we must begin with the relationship we are having with ourselves. Because if you have a very low self-worth, and no self-acceptance whatsoever, then ultimately you will never allow anyone else to accept you, so you unconsciously, may continually push others away and distance yourself from the very closeness you are yearning for and desire.

Stuck in a situation, for example, you don’t know if you should stay or leave your partner

Have you ever found yourself lying in bed awake until 3am in the morning, with the same dilemma going around and around in your head? You may have a big decision to make, and simply not know which path to choose. It may be you’re in a relationship, something has happened, and you simply do not know what path to take. You can’t decide if you should make up or break up?

You have a lot of friends who may be quick to give you advice, but they haven’t walked in your shoes, so can never fully understand what your relationship means in its entirety to you. And whilst it is great to have supportive friends, how often do you really take their advice on board?

I strongly believe your true answers to all your dilemmas lie within yourself. I work with each of your conflicting emotions and thoughts, allowing you to take a bird’s eye view of your inner conflicts and come to the resolution that feels right for you.

In counselling, we work not only with our brains but with our feelings. Whilst you can begin to understand behaviour intellectually, you can only fully understand yourself from getting in touch with your emotions. As your emotions become clearer to you, you begin to realise your feelings are not optional extras that can be ignored, but they are the very centre of yourself.  Whenever our emotions are genuinely engaged, there is always the opportunity for personal growth and development. This is true experiential learning, which is how we have learned anything of importance right from birth.

ITo engage with you effectively, I work as an integrative therapist and utilise various types of therapy based on your individual needs. This may include Person-Centred Therapy (PCT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Psychodynamic Therapy. Additionally, I may integrate techniques from Inner Child Therapy, Transactional Analysis (TA), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), and Mindfulness into our sessions.

Mind (Mental Health)

I have worked as a Counsellor at Mind working with individuals who have experienced a wide range of issues such as;

• Bipolar
• Depression
• Personality disorders
• Schizophrenia
• Anxiety
• PTSD
• Self-Harm

  Cruse Bereavement

I have also worked for Cruse Bereavement working with people who have experienced significant losses in their lives.  Alongside the emotionally and physically crippling effects of losing a beloved, people can also be severally affected by loss in a number of ways

• Loss of a beloved pet
• Loss of a romantic relationship
• Loss of a job
• Loss of a friendship
• Loss of a personal dream

Emotional Symptoms of Grieving

• Increased irritability
• Numbness
• Bitterness
• Detachment
• Preoccupation with loss
• Inability to show or experience joy

Physical Symptoms of Grieving

• Digestive problems
• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Chest Pain
• Sore Muscles

Highlighting I feel, what affects us emotionally, equally affects us physically.

New Pathways (Historical Childhood Abuse, Rape and Trauma)

I currently work with adult men and women at New Pathways specialising in historical childhood abuse, rape and trauma.

Childhood Abuse

Child abuse can happen in different ways, and can include neglect as well as physical, emotional and sexual abuse; in many cases, people experience more than one type of abuse.

Often, people abuse others because they want power and control over them. If you were abused as a child, it's important to remember that it’s not your fault or because of anything that you did. Abusive behaviour towards children is always wrong and never the child’s fault.

Everyone is different. It’s not easy to know exactly how you will feel as an adult living with past experiences of being abused. You may have reported the abuse as a child, lived with it in secret for years, or only recently remembered the abuse you experienced. However, it’s possible that at some time in your adult life your memories or fears will come back, which can lead to some very intense emotions.

Different life experiences can trigger these emotions, including bereavement, becoming a parent, experiencing an unrelated crime, moving to a new area, and current news stories in the media.

Emotional Health

Not everybody who has experienced childhood abuse will also experience emotional or mental health difficulties. However, some people may experience the following symptoms that last into adulthood:

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Post-Traumatic Stress
• Sleep Problems
• Self-Harm and/ or suicidal thoughts

Counselling helps you to recognise how your past experiences may be affecting you in the present moment. Some people may experience some or all of the following difficulties;

• Forming and maintaining meaningful romantic relationships
• Have a history of choosing the wrong partner
• Trust difficulties
• Low self-esteem
• Shame
• Sexual Difficulties
• Anger (outwards, or turned inwards)
• Confusion over sexuality

For more details please don't hesitate to contact me

• Pet bereavement
• Female hair loss
• Confidence

PRICING (let's get this one out of the way for you first). I have a range of offers and different services to suit everyone. 

Facebook Group for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse. I occasionally hold FREE support groups. Please contact me for details. 

Weekly Live Group Coaching and Q&A Session £100 Per Month 

Join our monthly group subscription package, specially designed for people-pleaser's who often find themselves in toxic relationships and may have been victims of narcissistic abuse. Together, we will break free from the unconscious patterns that have held us back. This uplifting program empowers you to transform your relationship with yourself, rediscover your authentic self, and improve the quality of your life and your connections with others. We’re excited to support you on this empowering journey! 

Signs of People Pleasing. If you often feel taken advantage of at work or by friends and family, consistently give more than you receive, and struggle to say no or set boundaries with others, it may be a sign of people pleasing. You might find yourself prioritising others' needs while neglecting your own. 

Counselling & Coaching Sessions £150 Per 1 hour Session. 

12-Week Tailor Made Transformation Coaching Package  Helping you to bridge the gap between where you are in life, and where you would like to be. 

Exciting news! Our transformative 12-week one-on-one package is designed to empower you to break free from unhelpful habits and thinking patterns, all for just £3,000.

This exclusive program welcomes individuals ready to embrace change and commit to extraordinary results. Remember, this opportunity is available by application only, ensuring that it’s the perfect fit for those dedicated to transforming their lives. If you’re intrigued, let’s chat! I invite you to schedule a complimentary 30-minute online consultation. During this time, I’ll share inspiring video testimonials from amazing individuals who have significantly improved their mental health, relationships, and overall well-being in just 12 weeks. Let’s embark on this journey together!. 

You can contact me here.