About me
I'm a couples counsellor offering Relationship counselling in Colchester, working face to face and online in the UK. I specialise in working with couples who have disconnected and wish to rediscover their emotional bond through better forms of empathic communication. I help couples achieve healthy confrontation so they can de-escalate cycles of conflict where they may be blaming, attacking, defending, or withdrawing from one another. My work offers a calm and supportive space where both partners can feel heard, understood, and able to speak more honestly about what is happening between them.
My aim through Marriage counselling in Colchester is to work with couples to reach a place where they once again feel like a team who can resolve things in a healthy way, based on the concepts of generosity and curiosity. This means helping each partner stand firm in love, expressing themselves from a place of how they really feel and what they really need, rather than character-assassinating their partner from a place of anger and blame. Other issues covered include discovering each other's love language and rebuilding trust.
I work with couples using styles called Emotionally Focused Therapy and Relational Living Therapy. These look at the pattern of conflict a couple find themselves in and the roles they play within it. For example, one person could be the pursuer who attacks, while the other is the withdrawer who defends, setting up a vicious cycle where the real emotions behind the cycle are not being addressed. Some of these patterns are forged from the defensive places of the adapted child, such as black and white thinking and harsh, reactive, attacking language. People may have learned to model and internalise ways of dealing with conflict from their families of origin, rather than turning up as the healthy adult with their partner, with flexible thinking and soft, gentle, non-defensive responses that foster agreement rather than argument and escalation.
My job is to help the couple find the real emotions behind what happens when the cycle kicks in, usually expressed by secondary emotions such as anger and frustration. When the couple tune into each other, they reach out and relate to one another through what are called the primary emotions, such as disappointment and hurt. These more vulnerable emotions help them move beyond secondary emotions and communicate with empathy towards one another at a level where they begin to hear each other and break the pattern of conflict they have fallen into. This can also help each partner recognise the hurt underneath the argument, rather than only reacting to the words or tone being used in the moment.
These are proven styles of therapy that work in Marriage counselling online in the UK, as you are both able to put the brakes on the old familiar pattern of secondary emotions, allowing yourselves to communicate as you should in a healthy, constructive way and de-escalate conflict. Vulnerability is important in any relationship, and when it is embraced through open communication in the present moment, where a person says what they mean when they feel it in a soft and gentle way, misunderstandings are avoided and each other's perceptions are understood and appreciated.
I often explore love languages in my work. This is a useful concept that helps couples recognise what is most important to their partner and how they can accommodate the language that helps the other person feel most connected. Understanding this can strengthen the emotional bond in the relationship, especially when small gestures, words, or actions begin to feel meaningful again. Individual counselling in Colchester can also support clearer emotional understanding within relationships.
Much of my work is around helping couples to rebuild trust where there has been infidelity. I value working with the perpetrator, who needs to acknowledge the injured party's loss through their own grief and remorse for what they have caused. It is also important that I help the offending partner remain non-defensive and recognise their partner's pain, while showing that they care about it. I also help the injured party open up about the emotional impact of the infidelity and share overwhelming emotions, which they can process with their partner in a safe place. This process gives both partners the opportunity to understand the depth of the hurt, the meaning of the betrayal, and the steps needed to begin repairing the relationship with honesty and care.
I strongly believe that, however your disconnection as a couple has happened, you can find healing through online relationship counselling in the UK and recapture and nurture the emotional bond you forged when you first fell in love.
I would be glad and privileged to help you on that journey.
Let's Begin
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Training, qualifications & experience
- Diploma in Person- Centred Counselling
- Certificate in Couples Counselling
- Register Member of the British Association Of Counsellors (BACP) and I adhere to their code of ethics.
After qualifying, I was a volunteer counsellor for two years with a charity who worked with individuals facing drug and alcohol issues. I then became a youth counsellor with Nacro for 6 years, after which I worked for Barnardo's in Family Intervention.
I am currently working for a local high school two days a week as well as having a private practice of adult clients. I enjoy working with both adults and young people as well as couples and although qualified in person-centred counselling I do incorporate elements of a psychodynamic and CBT approach.
Member organisations
BACP is one of the UK’s leading professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy with around 60,000 members. The Association has several different categories of membership, including Student Member, Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP, Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Accred) and Senior Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Snr Acccred). Registered and accredited members are listed on the BACP Register, which shows that they have demonstrated BACP’s recommended standards for training, proficiency and ethical practice. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA). Accredited and senior accredited membership are voluntary categories for members who choose to undertake a rigorous application and assessment process to demonstrate additional standards around practice, training and supervision. Individual members will have completed an appropriate counselling or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but they won’t appear on the BACP Register until they've demonstrated that they meet the standards for registration. Student members are still in the process of completing their training. All members are bound by the BACP Ethical Framework and a Professional Conduct Procedure.
Accredited register membership
The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Therapies offered
Fees
£50.00 - £70.00
Additional information
- Individuals £50 counselling remote
- Individuals face to face £60
- £60- Couples counselling remote
- Couples face to face £70
- £70 - Families
