Joy Mandel MCOSRT (Accred) , MBACP
As a relationship counsellor and sex therapist, my work is to help individuals and couples take a fresh look at their relationships and to offer strategies to help them cut through the blocks that are getting in the way of satisfying, loving connections. We often put blocks up because we understandably want to feel ‘safe’, but this can become a painful trap, keeping you stuck and feeling isolated and alone. I also work with those who are picking up the pieces after a break-up or bereavement, and those who wish to find themselves within a loving relationship but keep hitting blocks in the process, or aren't sure they're ready yet.
I have been specifically trained in the field of human relationships and sexuality and am experienced in working with both individuals and couples to sensitively explore difficult issues in these areas, as a counsellor and as a COSRT accredited psychosexual & relationship therapist. I offer a safe space where you can be seen and heard, without judgement.
I offer flexible appointment times, daytime or evenings with little or no waiting lists and am happy to refer to a network of experienced practitioners and psychosexual therapists, when desired.
Training, qualifications & experience
I am an experienced RELATE-UK trained relationship counsellor offering counselling and psychosexual therapy for couples and individuals in Folkestone, Kent and in London EC1 (Clerkenwell).
I grew up in Brooklyn, New York, and have lived in the UK since 1985. I earned an M. ED from Florida Atlantic University, and later, in the UK, I trained at the Relate Institute at the University of East London, to become a Relate-UK certified practitioner. In addition to my private practice, I worked for many years at Relate West & Mid Kent as one of their experienced and fully accredited counsellors.
Starting in 2009, I took further training in Psychosexual & Relationship therapy at Regents College, London, earning the London Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Counselling. In May, 2011, I trained at the Tavistock Institute in London with Dr. Sue Johnson to further my skills in the practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, and to become a qualified member of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT). This has progressed my work with couples in distress, and especially those who are struggling with the effects of ‘attachment trauma’, for example, as a result of affairs or addiction, or as a result of the wounds of their childhood.
I have a special interest and experience in working with the following issues: Affairs, compulsive lying, Co-dependency, and partners of narcissists, survivors of abuse, loss & bereavement, sexual orientation, sexual dysfunction, ‘Low or No Sex’ relationships, Difficulties around sexual orientation or gender; life stage transitions, Anxiety, Emotional Intensity Disorder, fear of commitment, addictions & partnering those with addictions (including internet, gambling, porn & sex addiction), Low confidence and self esteem, “I Love you but I’m not in Love with you” couple dynamics and work related stress & bullying.
While using words to communicate is the cornerstone of therapy, I also sometimes like to turn to other methods, such as the use of creative techniques including images, drawing and buttons, for example, to help some clients to go 'beneath' the words and access the bigger picture for themselves.
In addition to my private practice, I worked for many years at Relate West Kent as one of their experienced and fully accredited counsellors. I am a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) ; The College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (COSRT); The Association for Independent Practitioners (AIP); and the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
Accredited register membership
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Asperger's syndrome
- Attachment disorder
- Bipolar disorder
- Carer support
- Chronic fatigue syndrome/ME
- Dependent personality disorder
- Domestic violence
- Drug addiction
- Emotional abuse
- Family issues
- Gender dysphoria
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Internet addiction
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Narcissistic personality disorder
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Obsessive-compulsive personality disorder
- Panic attacks
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Physical abuse
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
- Postnatal depression
- Pregnancy and birth
- Relationship problems
- Seasonal affective disorder (SAD)
- Separation and divorce
- Sex addiction
- Sex problems
- Sexual abuse
- Work-related stress
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Communication difficulties, Life stage transitions, Expat and cross-cultural issues, Co-dependency, I Love you but Im not in Love with you couple dynamics, affairs, jealousy, lack of intimacy, the newly single, the perpetually single, committment issues, bereavement, survivors of sexual abuse, compulsive lying, Couple Counselling, Relationship counselling, Pre-Marriage counselling, 'Inner Child' work, particularly when addressing childhood abuse as an adult.
Sexual dysfunctions including premature or retarded ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, lack of orgasm, low desire/libido, vaginismus, painful sex, sexual addiction and compulsivity, Partners of those with addictions, and especially those with alcohol dependency or porn/sex/internet addiction.
- Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT)
- Behavioural therapy
- Cognitive and behavioural therapies
- Cognitive therapy
- Couples counselling
Sandgate, Kent: Individuals: £45 per 50 minute session. Couples: £65 for 1 hour 15 minute session
Evening and weekend rates are £5 more.
I also offer a limited number of reduced-fee daytime slots in my Kent location for students or for those who are more financially restricted. Please ask about availability of these slots, if required.
Telephone/Skype sessions also available, from £35
Finding the right counsellor fit for you is important, and this is often down to personality, so I encourage and welcome prospective clients to meet me and to shop around in order to find the counsellor they feel they can do their best work with. Please view my website for further information.
A quote which resonates the work I do, is the following by Dr. David Hawkins:
"Love is misunderstood to be an emotion; actually, it is a state of awareness, a way of being in the world, a way of seeing oneself and others."
I work in an LGBTQ affirmative way and my practice is open to all lifestyle choices and sexual orientations. I welcome and am experienced in working with cultural and sexual diversity.
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Online sessions via zoom, FaceTime or similar - or phone, daytime or evenings. I offer flexible scheduling for those not wishing to make a regular weekly commitment.
Types of client