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About me

I am Paul and a warm welcome. My site: https://wholepsychology.org.uk/) has all my details should you want more information. Details on couples counselling is further down the page.

Below I’ve tried to give you a sense of who I am and what having counselling with me will be like. It might be easier to find out by talking and therefore please feel free to contact me. There’s no obligation and no pressure. Just a chance to ask your questions and find out if can help.  I know I wont be right for everyone and that’s OK.

I came into counselling following the help I needed in, 2006. Initially spending 5 years with organizations such as MIND and then in my own practice

Whilst I have much experience and my approach to counselling is rooted in therapeutic knowledge and psychology, what I believe makes a difference is that I have lived with my own anxieties and emotional struggles and solved them in counselling. Thinking back I remember when I first started therapy feeling scared I might break down, about being honest and was unsure about having counselling or even where to start. So, I know what its like and how you could be feeling right now.

Never forgetting what you are sharing is deeply personal and often not easy for you, I offer a supportive and informal environment, go at your pace ( though gently encouraging ) and not only am I fully involved so you can make the most of your sessions, I will do so with sensitivity, respect and openness so trust can naturally build, as I want you to feel comfortable talking freely and with me guiding you through.

You'll also find I'm patient and compassionate by nature, on your side and care deeply that your counselling is a positive experience. One where you can look forward to your sessions and successful in the same way mine was for me. And mine was life changing.

My approach is to help you better understand yourself, and for you to learn how to find your own answers, gain new perspectives, and develop new ways and behaviours which solve your difficulties ,in the same way I did for myself.

I will also share my knowledge, tools, coping strategies and ideas to help speed up therapy and which you can also use to both progress between sessions, and will help you cope better until your new ways become a natural part of who you are.

My approach leads to lasting change whereas If we only address symptoms it would be like taking a pill to cure a headache without ever understanding the underlying causes.

Whatever brings you here there is nothing too trivial or too big to ask for help with....  Sometimes I'm helping people break free of difficult feelings, negativity or, constant worry, for others it's about changing unhelpful, harmful or exhausting ways of coping or reacting, many want to improve self confidence, some to help find acceptance or work through trauma, and often people have questions about themselves and their lives. In fact the reasons are very individual and endless.

My aim for you and all my clients is not only to be able to solve your immediate difficulties but to leave feeling confident in yourself, with the ability to manage a life which is more than just coping, and to wake up, looking forward to each day each day.

I am experienced at helping with:

  • Marriage & Relationship difficulties (further details below or on my website)
  • Anxiety / constant worry (including social anxiety) and GAD (This was one of my struggles, and which I solved after years of just coping)
  • Critical thinking / Always should have done better feeling
  • Feeling weak or embarrassed for needing help / showing emotion.
  • Panic attacks
  • OCD, Phobias
  • Personality disorders
  • Depression / feeling sad
  • Poor self-image / lacking confidence
  • Lacking connection to your emotions
  • Struggling to understand and handle your emotions
  • Feeling judged
  • Eating disorders
  • Abuse ( sexual, emotional or physical, including rape)
  • Trauma and PTSD
  • BPD.
  • Bereavement & Loss.
  • Anger, aggression & over reactions.
  • Childhood issues
  • Self harming
  • Stress
  • Coping strategies.
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Suicidal tendency
  • Addiction
  • Family issues


No one approach fits all. As an Integrative therapist I draw from all the main therapies. Those which are based on free flowing reflective conversation, others which allow for learning and developing tools and techniques to cope, and also those which offer cognitive approaches. This enables me to tailor help to your specific needs and help you effectively address what comes up in therapy.


I know taking the next step and asking for help can feel a huge one to take, and can be scary. So reach out in any way that suits you. Phone, text or email.

We can have an initial meeting, or conversation face to face, by phone or video after which you can decide in your own time if you think my help, is a good fit for your needs. No pressure. Just information and a chance to get to know me. This is free of charge.

During our conversation you can tell me about what you want from counselling and I will tell you what you can expect from therapy, what's involved and answer all your questions.


Training, qualifications & experience

I am a Registered Member of The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, on the professional standards authority, accredited register.

I gained my experience over the years from helping with all kinds of difficulties alongside my practice in those National counselling organisations I have been invited to assist. In the first five primarily focusing on those with extreme anxiety, depression, anger, working through a loss and those in difficult relationships and in the next I've e gained a broad and in-depth knowledge helping with all kinds of difficulties for other health care professionals such as counsellors, those in the NHS and in The Forces. as well as in my own practice.I have also continued with advanced training in a range of areas which include: couples,  anxiety linked conditions, depression, panic related difficulties, trauma and PTSD.

BACP Accredited:

  • Academic Diploma in Integrative Counselling.
  • WPF Certificate in Psycho-dynamic counselling
  • Child development and behaviors
  • Relational Development and Personal Communication
  • Trauma and recovery
  • Person Centred, Transctional Analysis, Gestalt and Relational counselling.
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • Depression, anxiety, anger, self-harm, eating disorders, attachment disorders, loss and grief, phobias, panic, sexuality, abuse,, obsessions, addiction, post traumatic stress, Bipolar and Asperger syndrome.
  • Bereavement Counselling.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Trauma. (PTSD)
Specialist training by Babette Rothschild, one of the worlds foremost leading experts and authors in treating Trauma and PTSD. This means I understand the Autonomic Nervous System which is vital in choosing safe approaches.   

BACP Accredited - Couples , Relationships & Communication
See my website for full details..    

Anger Programs/ Courses
I have run Police funded Anger management courses for a Southern based counselling organisation.

BACP Accredited - Creativity
Working with: Arts, imagery, visualization, role play, body language and mindfulness techniques.

Other (experiential training)

  • Group Therapy / Psycho educational workshops
  • Gestalt systemic and family constellation therapy.
  • Gestalt experiential therapy
  • Gestalt Group facilitation and coaching

Member organisations


British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy

BACP is one of the UK’s largest professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. Therapists registered with the Association fall into a number of different membership categories such as Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP and Registered Member MBACP (Accred), each standing for different levels of training and experience. MBACP (Accred) and MBACP (Snr Accred) members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.

Registered members can be found on the BACP Register, which was the first register to achieve Accredited Voluntary Register status issued by the Professional Standards Authority. Individual Members will have completed an appropriate counselling and/or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but will not appear on the BACP Register until they've progressed to Registered Member MBACP status.

All members are bound by a Code of Ethics & Practice and a Complaints Procedure. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.

Accredited register membership

British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy

Accredited Register Scheme

The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).

This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.

Other areas of counselling I deal with

Marriage and Relationship

This is an area of counselling I am passionate about. Not just because it is well suited to my knowledge and experience, but because I see how many relationships end or struggle needlessly.

Many I help often arrive feeling frustrated, hurt, disappointed, angry, misunderstood and lonely, and yet go on to enjoy a relationship stronger than if they had never had their problems in the first place.

Whilst there is no road map to what is right for all, as each couple want something different, what I do know is that when we replace judgement with understanding of each other and ourselves, and combine this with a respectful and open conversation it is possible to find answers you didn't think possible, and make the lasting changes you want for yourselves.

I have an approach which is both comprehensive and sensitive knowing how tough it can be to talk about what is very private and no interest whatsoever in who has doe what or taking sides or finger pointing. My only interest is your relationship.

I will help you make the changes you want in the room:


I will teach you advanced communication skills. These will enable you to listen to each other in ways that ensure your concerns are heard and understood, and to be able to respond to each other in ways that bring you closer and can keep even the most difficult of conversations flowing to a solution.

Relationship development

All relationships go through different stages of development. It doesn't matter if you have been together for 6 months or 20+ years. Sometimes life and family come along and delay any changes. During these times partners can often feel their partner is changing or doesn't care, when this isn't the case. I will help you understand the different stages and how to support each other through them.

Triggers & Individual patterns

When you communicate and in your daily lives there will be some things you say and do which create negative reactions in each other.  I will help you identify these and to see when these come from your individual past history - and to find new approaches which avoid these.

These will often appear as anxiety, control, angry reactions, shouting, walking away, feeling misunderstood, slamming doors or withdrawing from each other.

Wounds and repairing damage

It may be that words have been said or you have done something to hurt your partner and break trust.  It is important these are addressed up front because without healing it isn't possible to make progress.  I will help you to know how to support each other during these times so you can repair the damage.


Intimacy is often thought of as sexual contact and whilst this can be an important part of a relationship, intimacy it is far more. It is about being open about and sharing feelings, thoughts, concerns and joy and allowing your partner to see these in you.  I will help you develop ways which create intimacy and allow you feel comfortable.

The relationship

There are three in your relationship. You, your partner and your relationship. Think of it as a flower. If you do not feed it what it needs, whilst it might limp along it will eventually whither and die. I will help you work out how to have enough of what you individually need, and be able to feed your relationship without it becoming a competition.

Real change

None of all the above matters if you cant make real change happen. That's why my approach is to make change happen in the room, and keep it going with exercises and ways you can continue to go forward between sessions.

If you have the desire and willingness to put in the work I am confident you can bring your relationship to a place of trust, affection, fun, feeling supported and intimacy. Why am I confident? Because I see how this is possible no matter where couples start from.

If you would like to find out more, or if I can help you, please feel free to contact me for an initial informal conversation. We can do this by phone or video link.

Therapies offered

  • Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
  • Couples counselling
  • Gestalt therapy
  • Group therapy
  • Integrative
  • Jungian therapy
  • Psychoanalytical and psychodynamic
  • Solution focused brief therapy
  • Transactional analysis


Free initial in-person, telephone or online session

Additional information

  • Individuals (60min)  £65
  • Couples (70min) £90

Caterham (CR3) - Situated in a peaceful location 250 meters from Caterham main line station and the High Street and 2 miles from junction 6 M25.

Banstead (SM7) - A modern confidential space situation within 200 meters of Banstead High Street and 8 miles (20 min car)  from Caterham.

Face to face or Video link (Zoom, Skype, Face time).


Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

I offer appointments on Monday to Friday from 8:45am - 8:15pm and on Saturday from 8:45am -2:30pm.

Sessions can be face to face, by Skype, Zoom or FaceTime. 

Further information

I am committed to providing effective and safe help and in achieving that I:

  • Retain Professional indemnity insurance
  • Abide by the BACP Code of ethics
  • Commit to ongoing professional development, keeping up with the latest advances and knowledge.
  • Collaborate with other professionals if helpful, without breaking confidentiality
  • Have professional clinical supervision to ensure I offer effective therapy and which is a BACP requirement.
  • Never help outside my area of competence or experience.


Park Road

Type of session

In person

Types of client

Older adults

Key details

DBS checked

Unfortunately due to steps I cannot offer wheelchair access.

Online platforms

Microsoft Spaces
Paul Lipman - MBACP. Accred reg. - Individuals, Couples, & Family issues

Paul Lipman - MBACP. Accred reg. - Individuals, Couples, & Family issues