Paul Lipman

Hi, I’m Paul

Many years ago I needed help with my relationship, and it changed my life. I went on to train as a psychotherapist and a relationship therapist, and for over 15 years I’ve specialised in helping couples who are struggling.

Although my partner and I were attending therapy together, we didn’t need the same help all the time. We each needed to develop in different ways if being together was going to work.

That understanding became central to how I work. I help you understand what happens within each of you as well as between you, and what each of you needs for your relationship to change.

I bring together advanced communication skills, knowledge about how to be in a relationship and work with each person’s underlying patterns. When those patterns keep you stuck, I help you recognise them and step out of them, so you can use what you learn together and create the outcomes ones you want. 

I’ve see relationships that have felt dead for years come back to life, and conflict that has run for years and  once seemed impossible to resolve become understanding and connection. When we change what happens between you, then your relationship changes and the years passing doesn't stop this from happening. 

Therapy with me

You’ll know you’re not alone with this work.

I’ll never forget how difficult it was to talk about something so private and personal, or how hard it was to know what to do next. That’s why we work as a team. I can remember feeling embarrassed , scared and unsure about how this would all work. 

You’ll find me calm, kind and patient. I don’t take sides or judge, but I’m actively involved in helping you understand what’s happening and what needs to change. I can also see the funny side of life.

You’ll have a clear plan, so you’ll know what we’re working on, why and what you need to do. I’ll guide you step by step, both in sessions and at home. We don’t just talk about the problems; we start making changes in the room.

What you’ll lean how to do:

• Understand what your partner needs and how to give it.
• Communicate in ways that create understanding and connection.
• Work through difficulties rather than repeat the same problems.
• Rebuild trust, affection and emotional intimacy.
• Make room for both your needs and differences.
• Know how to look after your relationship through life’s changes.
• Whether you want to rebuild your relationship or need help understanding what you want going forward, there is room for that too.

Taking the next step

If you think I may be able to help, I’d be pleased to hear from you. You’re welcome to call, ask questions or visit my website to find out more.There’s no pressure or obligation, whatever you decide. 

Free initial meting: You can meet me first for a free introductory meeting, to find out all about me, how I work and if I can help you. There is no cost or obligation and you'll have a full 75 minutes.

or 

Initial therapy session:  You can arrange a first session. If after the session you decide not to continue then you may nothing. This way you can actually experience how I work. 

On my website you will also find many articles that couples tell me helps them even before they begin counselling and Free a bite size guide to help you think about things.  The link is at the top of the page

Whilst all my work is relationship led. I can help with some individual issues which are causing. difficulties between you and your partner. 

My fees are £140 - 75 minute sessions. **

Free initial meeting - 75 minutes to find out all about how I work and if I can help. 

or 

A first session: if after the first session  you decide i'm not the right therapist for for you and you do not continue, then you pay nothing.** 

I offer longer sessions than is typical to allow the time required for lasting change to happen. 

Caterham (CR3) - Situated in a peaceful location 250 meters from Caterham main line station and the High Street and 2 miles from junction 6 M25.

Although I only work with couples I also come with extensive learning and experience when the following impact relationships. 

• Anxiety / Panic / Depression 
• CPTSD
• Low self - esteem - confidence and shame 
• Assault / Rape
• Anger management / reactionary behaviours. 
• Neurodiversity 
• UEPD 
• Nurodiversity