Paul Lipman

I am a Registered Member of The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, on the professional standards authority, accredited register.

I gained my experience over the years from helping with all kinds of difficulties alongside my practice in those National counselling organisations I have been invited to assist. In the first five primarily focusing on those with extreme anxiety, depression, anger, working through a loss and those in difficult relationships and in the next I've e gained a broad and in-depth knowledge helping with all kinds of difficulties for other health care professionals such as counsellors, those in the NHS and in The Forces. as well as in my own practice.I have also continued with advanced training in a range of areas which include: couples,  anxiety linked conditions, depression, panic related difficulties, trauma and PTSD.

BACP Accredited:

• Academic Diploma in Integrative Counselling.
• WPF Certificate in Psycho-dynamic counselling
• Child development and behaviors
• Relational Development and Personal Communication
• Trauma and recovery ( Complex and PTSD)
• Person Centred, Transctional Analysis, Gestalt, Relational, Solution focused. Negative Pattern and Systemic therapies. 
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
• Bereavement, grief and loss Counselling.

Trauma, Complex Trauma and  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (PTSD)
Specialist training by Babette Rothschild, one of the worlds foremost leading experts and authors in treating Trauma and PTSD. This means I understand the Autonomic Nervous System which is vital in choosing safe approaches.   

BACP Accredited - Couples , Relationships & Communication
See my website for full details..    

Anger Programs/ Courses
I have run Police funded Anger management courses for a Southern based counselling organisation.

BACP Accredited - Creativity
Working with: Arts, imagery, visualization, role play, body language and mindfulness techniques.

Other (experiential training)

• Group Therapy / Psycho educational workshops
• Gestalt systemic and family constellation therapy.
• Gestalt experiential therapy
• Gestalt Group facilitation and coaching

Marriage and Relationship

This is an area of counselling I am passionate about. Not just because it is well suited to my knowledge and experience, but because I see how many relationships end or struggle needlessly.

Many I help often arrive feeling frustrated, hurt, disappointed, angry, misunderstood and lonely, and yet go on to enjoy a relationship stronger than if they had never had their problems in the first place.

Whilst there is no road map to what is right for all, as each couple want something different, what I do know is that when we replace judgement with understanding of each other and ourselves, and combine this with a respectful and open conversation it is possible to find answers you didn't think possible, and make the lasting changes you want for yourselves.

I have an approach which is both comprehensive and sensitive knowing how tough it can be to talk about what is very private and no interest whatsoever in who has doe what or taking sides or finger pointing. My only interest is your relationship.

I will help you make the changes you want in the room:

Communication

I will teach you advanced communication skills. These will enable you to listen to each other in ways that ensure your concerns are heard and understood, and to be able to respond to each other in ways that bring you closer and can keep even the most difficult of conversations flowing to a solution.

Relationship development

All relationships go through different stages of development. It doesn't matter if you have been together for 6 months or 20+ years. Sometimes life and family come along and delay any changes. During these times partners can often feel their partner is changing or doesn't care, when this isn't the case. I will help you understand the different stages and how to support each other through them.

Triggers & Individual patterns

When you communicate and in your daily lives there will be some things you say and do which create negative reactions in each other.  I will help you identify these and to see when these come from your individual past history - and to find new approaches which avoid these.

These will often appear as anxiety, control, angry reactions, shouting, walking away, feeling misunderstood, slamming doors or withdrawing from each other.

Wounds and repairing damage

It may be that words have been said or you have done something to hurt your partner and break trust.  It is important these are addressed up front because without healing it isn't possible to make progress.  I will help you to know how to support each other during these times so you can repair the damage.

Intimacy

Intimacy is often thought of as sexual contact and whilst this can be an important part of a relationship, intimacy it is far more. It is about being open about and sharing feelings, thoughts, concerns and joy and allowing your partner to see these in you.  I will help you develop ways which create intimacy and allow you feel comfortable.

The relationship

There are three in your relationship. You, your partner and your relationship. Think of it as a flower. If you do not feed it what it needs, whilst it might limp along it will eventually whither and die. I will help you work out how to have enough of what you individually need, and be able to feed your relationship without it becoming a competition.

Real change

None of all the above matters if you cant make real change happen. That's why my approach is to make change happen in the room, and keep it going with exercises and ways you can continue to go forward between sessions.

If you have the desire and willingness to put in the work I am confident you can bring your relationship to a place of trust, affection, fun, feeling supported and intimacy. Why am I confident? Because I see how this is possible no matter where couples start from.

If you would like to find out more, or if I can help you, please feel free to contact me for an initial informal conversation. We can do this by phone or video link.