About me

I am Paul and a warm welcome. My site: https://wholepsychology.org.uk/) has additional details about me or should you prefer please feel free to call me. No pressure, no obligation just all your questioned answered. Details on couples counselling is much further down the page.

Below I’ve tried to give you a sense of who I am, what having counselling will be like and what you can expect. 

I came into full time counselling because of my own experience of having solved my anxieties and difficulties in therapy, in 2006, and have since been committed to providing highly  personalised therapy which delivers lasting tangible benefits: emotionally, behaviourally, practically and intellectually. And despite my work being rooted in therapeutic knowledge and psychology, I offer a normal relationship without any formality, 

What you get with me is not just that through my training I’m good at understanding peoples problems and knowing how to help, even when you don't know where to start , I'm also patient and compassionate by nature , sensitive to what is tough to talk about ( gently encouraging but never pushy),  and am actively involved, ensuring you can get the most from your sessions .

I also think having gone through therapy myself, makes a difference for those I help because my experience doesn't come from books. I know what it's like to have met my therapist with no idea about counselling,  afraid to be honest and feeling embarrassed, and also worried about breaking down and feeling out of control.  So I know you could be feeling some of that right now.

I also care deeply that your counselling is successful in the same way mine was for me, that you can look forward to your sessions and I do all I can to get it right for you, so we can naturally build trust and you can feel comfortable talking openly and allowing me to guide you, when you are unsure of the next step in the room. 

What to expect

I am all about lasting change and not short term benefits. That's why we address the root causes of your distress or difficulty, Sometimes the struggle to solve current difficulties stems from the past and at other times it's more about what's going on in our lives right now.

Together we will come to understand how you were shaped, uncover the underlying roots of your difficulties and develop new strategies, thinking and ways which together give you the changes you want for yourself.

We make the changes happen in the room and when you take these into daily life, they can then become a natural part of who you are, adding to the qualities you already like about yourself.

I will also share ideas, tools and techniques you can use to reduce symptoms and speed up therapy. 

My aim

My aim for you and all my clients is that you can solve your immediate difficulties,  and leave feeling confident you have the ability to solve and manage future difficulties and knowing how to create a quality of life and relationships, no matter what has gone before. We all deserve that!

I am experienced at helping with:

  • Marriage & Relationship difficulties (further details below or on my website)
  • Anxiety / constant worry (including social anxiety) and GAD (This was one of my struggles, and which I solved)
  • Critical thinking / Always should have done better feeling
  • Feeling weak or embarrassed for needing help / showing emotion.
  • Panic attacks
  • OCD, Phobias
  • Personality disorders
  • Depression / feeling sad
  • Poor self-image / lacking confidence
  • Struggling to understand and handle your emotions
  • Feeling judged
  • Eating disorders
  • Abuse ( sexual, emotional or physical, including rape)
  • Trauma, Complex Trauma and PTSD
  • BPD.
  • Bereavement, Grief & Loss.
  • Anger, aggression & over reactions.
  • Childhood issues
  • Self harming
  • Stress 
  • Advanced problem solving skills
  • Sexual difficulties
  • Suicidal thoughts and attempted actions
  • Family issues
  • Inner Child recovery and development 

TRAUMA AND COMPLEX TRAUMA ( PHYSICAL or EMOTIONAL)

I also have extensive experience of helping those who have suffered such traumas as rape, sexual abuse or an assault, or have gone through periods of emotional abuse and repression, either when an adult or when in early life, as a child.   

ABOUT INTEGRATIVE COUNSELLING

I know that no one approach fits all. As an Integrative therapist I draw from all the main therapies. Those which are based on free flowing reflective conversation, others which allow for learning and developing tools and techniques to cope, and also those which offer cognitive approaches. This enables me to tailor help to your specific needs and help you effectively address what comes up in therapy.

If you would like to know more about the therapies that I draw from, please click here. 

GETTING STARTED - NO CHARGE INITIAL MEETING 

I know taking the next step and asking for help can feel a huge one to take, and can also be scary.  You might also not know if counselling is right for you yet. So if you would like to come along and find out, you can do so free of charge.  We can also do this by phone or video if you prefer. 

This is an opportunity to meet me, get all your questions answered, have a taste of what it would be like to come to counselling and to find out if my help is a good fit for your needs. If we think we are then it is my experience you are very likely to get what you want from counselling.  If I think another kind of help will be better for you, I will say as I dont want either of us to be disappointed. 

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Training, qualifications & experience

I am a Registered Member of The British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, on the professional standards authority, accredited register.

I gained my experience over the years from helping with all kinds of difficulties alongside my practice in those National counselling organisations I have been invited to assist. In the first five primarily focusing on those with extreme anxiety, depression, anger, working through a loss and those in difficult relationships and in the next I've e gained a broad and in-depth knowledge helping with all kinds of difficulties for other health care professionals such as counsellors, those in the NHS and in The Forces. as well as in my own practice.I have also continued with advanced training in a range of areas which include: couples,  anxiety linked conditions, depression, panic related difficulties, trauma and PTSD.

BACP Accredited:

  • Academic Diploma in Integrative Counselling.
  • WPF Certificate in Psycho-dynamic counselling
  • Child development and behaviors
  • Relational Development and Personal Communication
  • Trauma and recovery ( Complex and PTSD)
  • Person Centred, Transctional Analysis, Gestalt, Relational, Solution focused. Negative Pattern and Systemic therapies. 
  • Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • Bereavement, grief and loss Counselling.

Trauma, Complex Trauma and  Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. (PTSD)
Specialist training by Babette Rothschild, one of the worlds foremost leading experts and authors in treating Trauma and PTSD. This means I understand the Autonomic Nervous System which is vital in choosing safe approaches.   

BACP Accredited - Couples , Relationships & Communication
See my website for full details..    

Anger Programs/ Courses
I have run Police funded Anger management courses for a Southern based counselling organisation.

BACP Accredited - Creativity
Working with: Arts, imagery, visualization, role play, body language and mindfulness techniques.

Other (experiential training)

  • Group Therapy / Psycho educational workshops
  • Gestalt systemic and family constellation therapy.
  • Gestalt experiential therapy
  • Gestalt Group facilitation and coaching

Member organisations

BACP

British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy

BACP is one of the UK’s largest professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. Therapists registered with the Association fall into a number of different membership categories such as Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP and Registered Member MBACP (Accred), each standing for different levels of training and experience. MBACP (Accred) and MBACP (Snr Accred) members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.

Registered members can be found on the BACP Register, which was the first register to achieve Accredited Voluntary Register status issued by the Professional Standards Authority. Individual Members will have completed an appropriate counselling and/or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but will not appear on the BACP Register until they've progressed to Registered Member MBACP status.

All members are bound by a Code of Ethics & Practice and a Complaints Procedure. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.

Accredited register membership

British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy

Accredited Register Scheme

The Accredited Register Scheme was set up in 2013 by the Department of Health (DoH) as a way to recognise organisations that hold voluntary registers which meet certain standards. These standards are set by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).

This therapist has indicated that they belong to an Accredited Register.

Other areas of counselling I deal with

Marriage and Relationship

This is an area of counselling I am passionate about. Not just because it is well suited to my knowledge and experience, but because I see how many relationships end or struggle needlessly.

Many I help often arrive feeling frustrated, hurt, disappointed, angry, misunderstood and lonely, and yet go on to enjoy a relationship stronger than if they had never had their problems in the first place.

Whilst there is no road map to what is right for all, as each couple want something different, what I do know is that when we replace judgement with understanding of each other and ourselves, and combine this with a respectful and open conversation it is possible to find answers you didn't think possible, and make the lasting changes you want for yourselves.

I have an approach which is both comprehensive and sensitive knowing how tough it can be to talk about what is very private and no interest whatsoever in who has doe what or taking sides or finger pointing. My only interest is your relationship.

I will help you make the changes you want in the room:

Communication

I will teach you advanced communication skills. These will enable you to listen to each other in ways that ensure your concerns are heard and understood, and to be able to respond to each other in ways that bring you closer and can keep even the most difficult of conversations flowing to a solution.

Relationship development

All relationships go through different stages of development. It doesn't matter if you have been together for 6 months or 20+ years. Sometimes life and family come along and delay any changes. During these times partners can often feel their partner is changing or doesn't care, when this isn't the case. I will help you understand the different stages and how to support each other through them.

Triggers & Individual patterns

When you communicate and in your daily lives there will be some things you say and do which create negative reactions in each other.  I will help you identify these and to see when these come from your individual past history - and to find new approaches which avoid these.

These will often appear as anxiety, control, angry reactions, shouting, walking away, feeling misunderstood, slamming doors or withdrawing from each other.

Wounds and repairing damage

It may be that words have been said or you have done something to hurt your partner and break trust.  It is important these are addressed up front because without healing it isn't possible to make progress.  I will help you to know how to support each other during these times so you can repair the damage.

Intimacy

Intimacy is often thought of as sexual contact and whilst this can be an important part of a relationship, intimacy it is far more. It is about being open about and sharing feelings, thoughts, concerns and joy and allowing your partner to see these in you.  I will help you develop ways which create intimacy and allow you feel comfortable.

The relationship

There are three in your relationship. You, your partner and your relationship. Think of it as a flower. If you do not feed it what it needs, whilst it might limp along it will eventually whither and die. I will help you work out how to have enough of what you individually need, and be able to feed your relationship without it becoming a competition.

Real change

None of all the above matters if you cant make real change happen. That's why my approach is to make change happen in the room, and keep it going with exercises and ways you can continue to go forward between sessions.

If you have the desire and willingness to put in the work I am confident you can bring your relationship to a place of trust, affection, fun, feeling supported and intimacy. Why am I confident? Because I see how this is possible no matter where couples start from.

If you would like to find out more, or if I can help you, please feel free to contact me for an initial informal conversation. We can do this by phone or video link.

Fees

Free initial in-person, telephone or online session

Additional information

  • Individuals (60min)  £70.
  • Couples (70min) £95
  • Families (80min)  £120 

Caterham (CR3) - Situated in a peaceful location 250 meters from Caterham main line station and the High Street and 2 miles from junction 6 M25.

Banstead (SM7) - A modern confidential space situation within 200 meters of Banstead High Street and 8 miles (20 min car)  from Caterham.

Face to face or Video link (Zoom, Skype, Face time).

Availability

Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday
Morning
Afternoon
Evening
Night

I offer appointments on Monday to Friday from 8:45am - 8:15pm and on Saturday from 8:45am -3:30pm.

Sessions can be face to face, by Skype, Zoom or FaceTime. 

Further information

I am committed to providing effective and safe help and in achieving that I:

  • Retain Professional indemnity insurance
  • Abide by the BACP Code of ethics
  • Commit to ongoing professional development, keeping up with the latest advances and knowledge.
  • Collaborate with other professionals if helpful, without breaking confidentiality
  • Have professional clinical supervision to ensure I offer effective therapy and which is a BACP requirement.
  • Never help outside my area of competence or experience.

Caterham
Surrey
CR3

Park Road
Banstead
Surrey
SM7

Type of session

In person
Online

Types of client

Adults
Older adults
Couples
Families
Groups
Organisations

Key details

DBS check

In England and Wales, the Disclosure and Barring Service (DBS, formerly known as CRB) carry out criminal records checks for individuals working with vulnerable groups, such as children. To find out more, visit gov.uk , or contact this professional directly

Unfortunately due to steps I cannot offer wheelchair access.

Online platforms

Microsoft Spaces
Skype
Zoom