Kate Heavey

So thank you for 'choosing me' by clicking through. 

Clients inform me it is a minefield looking for a counsellor and so I try to make this as easy as possible for you to feel comfortable in contacting me, which includes detailing my current availability (scroll to near the bottom of the entry), so you are aware if I can accommodate you at outset.

Reasons for being here

You may feel that you are unable to cope with what is currently going on, or you may think 'I'm the problem' or you may find your behaviour hard to tolerate.  What is true is that, simply, you have not been given the tool box that you need for living as you; yet! 

That is why coming to therapy is not your fault, or just one of you if you are coming as a couple or two; as we only know what is learnt and what is 'given'; the good the bad and the ugly. 

Individual Counselling and Psychotherapy

Every experience you have had to date has helped give context, inform, and help you write your life story.  

From your story, you have created values and beliefs informing how you feel about yourself, your relationships, and how you relate within the world. 

Have you ever stopped and wondered what, or who, informs your story today?  Whose voices are in your head?  Are you letting an outdated story define you and your experiences today?  Maybe the 'abnormal has become normal' and you are currently finding it hard to 'see the wood for the trees'. 

The symptoms of this can be relationship distress, feeling like you are not getting your needs met, patterns which you do not know how to get out of or internal fears such as not being enough.  Our work together will help you with all of these symptoms because, simply put, you do have the resources and you are enough, and always have been.

Your reasons for being here will vary yet, at the core ,they are all the same; you are not living in a contented satisfying way and, at some level, you are experiencing discomfort, loss and/or grief. 

Coping strategies for unpleasant experiences (whether behaviour, feelings or thinking) can be avoidance, anxiousness, anger / rage or using an external substance such as alcohol / food to cover-up vulnerabilities.  These behaviours stand in the way of connecting as they are self-protective (survival) which leads to isolation, despair and loneliness and possibly feeling like no-one has your back.  As a therapist, and fellow human traveller, I will have your back and I will be rooting for you as we work together on you re-connecting with your internal resources.

The hope of change..... can you imagine being free to choose your life today by understanding why you have the coping strategies, symptoms and stressors you do?  Where you gain a new tool box to help you effectively deal with life.  A life where you feel equal to others, where you do not fear failure or feel shame.  Where you can be vulnerable, courageous, brave and 'just' be you. 

Whether face to face, online or via the telephone, this is what our work together offers you.

Couple Counselling and Psychotherapy

The reason you are seeking couple counselling will generally fall into 3 categories -

1. To grow, develop or change your relationship.
2. To make a decision about your relationship.
3. To separate amicably.

(Please note options 1 and 2 I work with yet I do not offer separation only counselling)

Reasons you may be seeking couple counselling could be: -

• Conflict / arguing / difference
• Relationship changes (e.g. marriage, parenting, miscarriage, IVF, family death)
• Affairs / betrayal / infidelity / low level of trust
• Attachment issues (avoidance / neediness in relationship)
• Lack of intimacy / sex life
• Communication and difference
• Loss of ability to talk to one another
• Addiction (alcohol, porn, etc.)
• Rejection / abandonment
• Withdrawal of one (or both) partners
• Ghosting
• Unpleasant feelings (fear, sadness, resentment, anger, jealousy, etc.)
• Baggage from past relationships (e.g. trust, trauma, abuse, etc.)
• Family of origin conflict
• Loss of self
• Lost connection with partner.

Benefits of Counselling for Individuals, Couples or Twos

·       To be comfortable in your own skin
·       Work through archaic patterns keeping you stuck
·       Learn healthier ways of relating with enhanced communication skills
·       Improvement of the self's (esteem, criticism, confidence, worth, love, awareness, sabotage, compassion)
·       Healing of past / current trauma
·       Understand the impact of your childhood (parent wounding)
·       Embrace 'it is ok to not be ok' and 'I'm ok, you're ok'*
·       Experience new opportunities with an altered outlook
·       Create a life where you are energised, enthused and contented.

*Eric Byrne

My role

Whether as an individual, couple or two, I will have your back, root for you, and cheerlead you along your journey as you move to embrace a more harmonious way of living where you are living rather than existing. 

HOW do we do this?  With Honesty, Openmindedness and Willingness.

This will mean looking at what informs your perspective, looking at how you have learnt to be in the world, and introducing new ways of looking at things.  In a nutshell, we look at 'back then' to see how it informs how you are living 'out there' now.

Who I work with

I work with individuals (age 18+), couples and twos.

I am a Bupa, Axa and Aviva approved counsellor / psychotherapist.

**Note:  If you contact me, and you have not received a reply within 24 hours Monday - Thursday, please do check your junk folder as replies can often be found in there**

Location

I see clients at my home in Alfold in the 'office in the garden'.  This is a south facing conservatory which has a tranquil outlook onto the garden (see photos) where you can hear the sound of running water amongst calmness.
(Update November 2024 for transparency - there is a local building development 400 metres from my office so background noise can be heard).

For online and telephone work, I work from an upstairs office to ensure confidentiality. 

Counselling and Psychology Students / Trainees

I am integratively trained in the Clarkson 5 Relational Model and welcome hearing from you.  I am passionate about working with counselling students and feel it is an honour to be chosen to be on your journey of discovery with you.

Walk and Talk Therapy / Outdoor Therapy / Ecotherapy

Being located in Alfold, means I have easy access to the countryside.  45 minute walks are available from two locations in my area.

Utilising nature as part of therapy gives a  grounding experience.  Exercise and movement boosts endorphins offering a break from sitting therapy.

Initial 60 minute session: complimentary for individuals and £50 for couples (due to pre-assessment work) whether this is face to face, online or telephone counselling.

An initial session enables the taking of a brief history and for us to discuss your goals in counselling and how we would work together moving forward.  This is offered when there is a regular weekly appointment time that suits you.

All sessions are 60 minutes, rather than 50 minutes, and costs are:-

Individual counselling - £65

Couple counselling - £85

Counselling students  - £50

(my modality is Clarkson Five Relational Model)

Employee Assisted Programme:-

I am an BUPA, Aviva, AXA and Vitality Health Recognised psychotherapist.

If you are insured with any of these companies you will need to follow their instructions (contacting them, providing me with your policy /approval number and details of how many sessions have been approved).

I am fully insured, have an up-to-date enhanced DBS check and I am ICO registered (GDPR).

I am a Petruska Clarkson Five Relationship Model trained relational counsellor and integrate four different approaches:-  person centred, psychodynamic, existential and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT).  I offer a flexible way of working centred on you, the client(s).

My approach includes reflection on the past, creative work, mindfulness, visualisations, drawing, poetry, etc. as all can provide a way of accessing the unconscious mind.