Ingrid Koehler

I have had a private counselling practice in Totnes since 2011 and continue to practise in central Totnes and central Exeter. I have a background in nursing in the NHS having worked in the specialty of cancer for many years.

It takes courage to recognise that we need help and to come forward to ask for it when we are in distress and when dealing with a problem that we can't work out for themselves. Counselling can help us see the bigger picture. Distress ranges from stress and anxiety about things in life: feelings of being out of control; feeling a sense of being overwhelmed or confused, depressed or sad, even for no definable reason; feeling hurt or vulnerable, angry, frustrated, desperate, or needy because of particular circumstances or our life history.  It can also show up as being very emotional all the time or just as a feeling of flatness and pointlessness and as a ‘nervous breakdown’.  Guilt, shame and regret also can deeply affect us.  Having physical pain, chronic ailments and poor health can also take their toll. All forms of distress can affect our well-being and relationships.

Counselling is very effective for trauma. More is known now about the long-term effects of both shock trauma and developmental trauma.  Whether it be a specific shocking and frightening one-off event or emotional abuse, protracted neglect, abandonment, rejection and hurt which may even be in the distant past, the impact on our mental health can be marked. Also, the effects of short- and long-term grief and loss and can take its toll.

My approach is of unconditional acceptance and non-judgemental understanding of all that you are and bring. I try to come alongside you according to your level of comfort, in a safe space of caring, trust and confidentiality.  Counselling brings new insights and awareness of our problems and can help to unpack emotion and understand our behaviour and that of others. Ultimately it can help us to develop compassion and empathy for ourselves.

I work with individuals and couples.  In both cases, relationship difficulties are often at the heart of our distress and affect how we feel in ourselves. I wish for women and men to understand one another better in order to create loving partnerships. I also believe that understanding the differences between women and men is necessary to achieve this. I am influenced by the ideas of Alison Armstrong, (Understandmen.com). My couples approach is based on the model of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), as developed by Dr Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight). It is a collaborative, structured, usually short-term therapy approach.  I am currently I training to become a certified EFT couples' therapist.