Dr Dane Duncan Mills

CLIENT TESTIMONIALS 

"I feel genuinely listened to and understood in my sessions, which makes a big difference for me. The conversations themselves feel very natural and easy, almost like speaking with a friend, but with clear and practical psychological guidance. I find this especially helpful, as some more abstract explanations can be harder for me to fully grasp, particularly as a French speaker working in English. Overall, I really value our discussions and the way things are explained in a grounded, accessible way. From the very first 30-minute call, I also really appreciated Dane’s voice, which felt very gentle and empathetic. As someone quite sensitive, I immediately sensed authenticity and a strong absence of judgment, which helped me feel safe and at ease from the beginning :) "

"I had no idea how to go about finding a therapist, I reached out to Dane as a stab in the dark and it turned out to be a serendipitously perfect fit. Dane is exceptionally perceptive and adaptable; he is able to pick up on threads I had no idea were there and ask questions that I had never thought of and had no idea were important. He has an uncanny ability to connect a problem with some small thing I said in passing several weeks ago that I hardly even remembered I’d said. I also really appreciate his willingness to pull from a variety of the many approaches in which he’s trained to tailor our work to what works well for me, and to adapt as we go. In addition to bringing an easy and open warmth and empathy, Dane has been so helpful in providing a great balance of insight, support, concrete takeaways, resources he’s thought of based on our sessions, and actionable gameplans. I’ve tried several therapists over the years and this has been hands-down the best fit, I cannot recommend him highly enough!"

“Dane is by far the best therapist I've had the chance to work with. His multi-faceted approach at the intersection of the best practices in therapy is helping me make progress on topics I've hardly been able to address before. I feel confident about Dane's ability to help me navigate the challenging topics of my life and my ability to move to a better place with his assistance.  As a gay man, I often feel like therapy is somewhat aligned with my reality. Dane's affinity and experience working with the LGBT community has put him in a position to make me feel understood like never before. Although I could keep going on a while, the last thing I'll add is that Dane is very organised. Above and beyond his sessions' notes, he also provided me with a comprehensive document explaining his approach, practice and success stories, he sends me a detailed follow up email with any resources he's recommended I look into after the sessions and communicates very effectively when it comes to scheduling or confirming the upcoming session. I can't recommend him enough.”

"Dane’s constant curiosity, empathy, ability to listen carefully without judgement and acknowledge and encourage me have had a hugely positive impact in my life. He’s allowed every session to be guided by what I believe is important to discuss on the day - I feel like a participant rather than a patient. With the right support we can face challenges that otherwise seem overwhelming; my time with Dane has proved that. Dane’s helped me move from feeling scared and alone to empowered and able, recognising my own resilience and strength. The things I’ve learned through our conversations are helping me with my own challenges and to be a better support to others. I’m beyond thankful for the role Dane has played helping me reflect, learn and face difficult conversations with myself and others. Dane has my highest recommendation."

"I began working with Dane to overcome issues I was having with my relationship to gender. Being something of an “overthinker”, I had found that I’d struggled to make progress with other therapists in that area. Dane’s approach worked very well for me, helping me out of a period of anxiety, depression and burn-out. He has helped me to begin a new chapter of self-determined exploration, guided by a deeper sense of self-awareness."

“I’ve had experiences with other therapies and therapists, and my time with Dane is the first I’ve found entirely worthwhile and beneficial. I feel listened to and understood, and there’s a clear desire to continue to develop and deepen this understanding. It feels like a particularly safe space for me and that’s down to Dane’s empathy and communication skills. I’d highly recommend him”

"At a time when I was struggling with isolation after my partner decided to move back to Spain after losing his job to Covid, and working through a process of reevaluating my life through a new lens of autism and ADHD, Dane’s approach was a real lifesaver in helping me reflect on my coping strategies, strengths and values. He was easy to reach out to, and online sessions suited me really well. His warmth and kindness helped me feel accepted and safe at a time when I’d had some horrific homophobic ableist online abuse that triggered old trauma. I feel that a good connection with a therapist such as Dane can be helpful not just in the moment, but at later times when we think back to those sessions and how helpful they were."

"Working with Dane provided a supportive space where my husband and I could have those 'difficult' conversations, and could discuss our fears and anxieties in a way that had proven near impossible outside of a therapeutic environment. Dane's support helped us model how to have these potentially conflict-inducing conversations (rather than perpetually avoiding them). We also learnt how many skills and strengths we already had." [LGBT Couple]

“Originally I would have preferred a woman as a therapist as I thought that they would understand me, as a woman, better. How wrong was I! After meeting Dane for the first time I found that he was very empathetic, sensitive and professional to my needs. He listened, was non judgmental and I felt at ease within minutes of talking to him about ‘God and the world’. The coping strategies he provided me with are a great tool to use when I feel anxious or unsure about myself. I have no hesitation in highly recommending Dane as a therapist."

"Dane skilfully picked out the significant parts and helped build my story in a clearer way, summarising and reflecting back with clarity, the jumble of thoughts I had just landed on him. Dane made links between parts which I had never connected together but which helped to make sense of certain thoughts and beliefs. Every week Dane checked in about the process of the sessions: giving us the opportunity to think about whether the direction of the conversation was helpful or not (and why); and how I wanted him to facilitate our conversation. Dane offered a very safe, non-judgemental therapeutic space. Dane attended to difference in relation to my experiences, rather than influencing me in accordance with his own experience. I felt heard and understood by Dane who empowered me to make sense of my curiosities and armed me with tools to support me going forward. 4 months on I often refer back to our conversations and feel they have had a truly positive impact on my ability to cope."

"I initially reached out because I was at a bit of a crossroads in my life and had this "cloudiness" in my mind that I was unsure of how to process and unsure of how to move forward with my life. Dane immediately pin-pointed and helped navigate me through those issues and was able to help me understand why I was feeling the way I was and hone in on what I thought the issues were. The focus was very much on myself. Why was I feeling the way I was, how to deal with those feelings. The conversations were fluid, deep, introspective, Dane helped me look inward for the first time in my life and I cannot thank him enough for that.”

"I reached out to Dane via email to begin therapy sessions after realising my gender identity was not what I thought it had been for a long time in order to have some guidance in exploring more of my uncovered self. He was so approachable, made clear what the process would be up front, and speaking to him during the sessions feels very unforced and natural. He always brings the topic back to the focus that is set collaboratively at the beginning of the session to ensure that I gain what I need out of it, but doesn't hurry me along, which feels important when I need time to find my own words to express how I feel internally. Dane expresses active listening, is clearly interested in the words I choose for my experiences, and takes care to never make me feel othered rather than a whole, unique, interesting and worthwhile person deserving of respect, but also reflects back his unjudgemental observations clearly and in ways I can take them on board."

"Reaching out for therapy can always seem a bit daunting and nerve racking, but Dane's approach made it feel very easy and natural. He listens with great attention and either has a great memory for detail, or takes great notes - because he calls back on stories (even on specific words) that we talked about in sessions from a while ago. This makes it feel like a friendly, long conversation rather than a set of individual, broken sessions. He makes you feel listened to and understood, while providing useful challenges and nudges."

"Making contact with Dane was simple and straight forward, exactly what I needed and what drew me to enquire with him in the first place. He was every bit as approachable and responsive as I'd hoped, I felt very secure. Contact was the result of searching for someone with his areas of expertise. This doesn't guarantee the right relationship fit though, so it was truly reassuring and a relief to find that ours was easy to build; intuitive, responsive, inspiring - everything you want from the relationship, really. Dane was open about finding ways to focus our conversations; ways that would work for me, and with me. I was so grateful for the honesty, as I might otherwise have struggled to articulate what I was trying to achieve. From that moment on our sessions have been all the more brilliant, with lightbulb moments, back-and-forth and a really good flow. I was specific in my search for someone who would understand the queer experience and neurodivergence. It's been so valuable to find someone who works with both areas, as there's never any doubt in their understanding or empathy. Several sessions into our work together I was walking taller, with more resilience and the tools to practice self care, authentically. I've no doubt that Dane got me there, and no previous therapy has put me in that place. I'm truly grateful to Dane, and look forward to our next conversation already!"

"Starting therapy felt daunting, especially during a time of crisis, but working with Dane has made all the difference. He has created a safe, welcoming space that has helped me unpack and confront challenges I never thought I’d be able to address. His insightful, attentive approach feels both supportive and focused on the right things, guiding me steadily forward. I’ve made real progress, and for the first time in a while, I feel like my future looks much brighter. For anyone hesitant, I can say that Dane brings an understanding and respect that makes this process feel empowering and impactful."

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About My Therapy Approach

I provide clear and jargon-free online therapy sessions as a Clinical Psychologist with over 15 years of NHS experience. My aim is to create a safe, welcoming space where you can address feelings of being stuck or uncertain while recognising and building on the strengths you already possess.

My approach is built on the belief that you are not defined by your challenges. I separate the person from the problem so that together we can create a clear and meaningful path forward. I value early and supportive intervention to help prevent issues from becoming more complex.

Your story is unique, and I invite you to share it in your own words. I do not rely on clinical buzzwords or labels. Instead, I listen with empathy and work collaboratively with you to ensure that your goals and values are at the centre of our sessions. I value your contribution and see our work together as a shared journey towards growth.

👤 Individual Therapy

In individual therapy, the relationship between therapist and client is paramount. I combine my expertise with your lived experience to illuminate what is most important to you. I use regular feedback to refine our work together, ensuring that every session is tailored to your needs and that you feel heard, respected and supported.

💑 Relationship Therapy

For couples or relationship work, I draw on a variety of methods, including techniques from Compassionate Communication, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Narrative and Systemic Family Therapy, with a thoughtful nod to Queer Theory and attachment-based insights. Here are some key principles that guide my work:

• 🔄 Multiple Perspectives > I understand that different people in a relationship may have different hopes and needs. I create a space where every perspective is valued.
• 🤝 Shared Values > Your relationship has its own unique set of values, and these remain central in our conversations.
• 🌟 Win-win Solutions > I help each person in the relationship identify their hopes and create solutions that support mutual well-being rather than focusing on individual needs alone.

➡️ Next Steps

I understand that taking the first step can feel daunting. To help, I offer an optional free 10-minute phone call so that we can hear each other's voice, make a connection, so you can vibe check if it is a fit for you. After this call, can send you my welcome pack with useful information and resources so you can make an informed decision. If I am not the right fit, I can recommend other trusted professionals. Please feel free to get in touch:

• ✉️ Ping me an Email: Dane@NarrativesOfUs.co.uk

• 📲 Book A Free Intro Call: https://shorturl.at/q227I 

• 📞 Leave Me a Message: 020 3984 7939

Where talking to a Male is prefered / Despair / Couples counselling / Hopelessness / Family Issues / Low Self-confidence / Loss / Hardship Stuckness / Feeling Lost / Down / Stress / Worried / Cross / Feeling Sad / Living with Labels (such as "generalised anxiety disorder", "low self-esteem", "depression", "phobias", "OCD", "anxiety", "post traumatic stress", "phobia", "panic attacks").

Allied

Bisexual, Gay, Intersex, Lesbian, Non-Binary, Queer and Transgender Allied.

I offer a free 10 minute telephone conversation to sound out if our fit would feel right, so you can here each others voices and start a connection. Feel free to book this directly here: https://shorturl.at/XUhXl or email me on Dane@narrativesofus.co.uk

Sliding Scale Fees

I offer a fair sliding scale for my clients, which you get to choose on an honesty basis depending on if you feel your income is low, medium or high compared to your counterparts living in your area earning the same as you. A standard psychology session is typically 50 minutes. I offer concessions on the scale to those with a low income, students, key workers and unemployed clients.

Individual Sessions 

Sliding Scale: Starting from £120 to £150.

Couple or Family Sessions

Sliding Scale: Starting from £150 to £200.

What do people like about online video therapy?

Online therapy is no longer a second-best option, research proves it is evidence-based as effective, and is something different but not inferior to, face to face talking:

• Personalise your own space as needed, with your own soothing strategies: for everyone it’s different, maybe for you it’s blankets, candles, a plant, insense, cushions for a relaxing atmosphere… or maybe it’s a desk and whiteboard to build a working mindset.
• Take therapeutic support with you when travelling, moving home, or country.
• Avoid the added commute around work or the school run!
• It is a practical way to invite a friend or family member to the session - they can sit with you in the room, or drop in online with a shared screen. This might be to gain their out-of-the-box perspective or if you wish to share aspects of your story.
• Fury friends and whiskered family members are welcome here, in fact research shows stroking a cat or dog lowers stress levels, isolation and helps to provide emotional support and comfort.
• Bring a cup of tea or coffee just how you like it for the session. In many cultures, talking over a cup of tea helps to provide focus.

If some of the description examples below resonate with you, then Narratives of Us might be an awesome fit:

• I’m heartbroken. My partner and I are stuck in a rut. The spark is gone.
• Lockdown is making life like a pressure cooker.
• I’m in a dilemma… my heart says one thing but my culture says the opposite, what do I do?
• Something difficult to describe happened to me… it’s after my attention.
• I’ve been given a label but it seems far away from my unique experience. I mean… there’s anxiety, there’s anxiety and there’s anxiety, right?
• I get angsty, the world seems terrible and even unsafe… little things play on my mind.
• There’s a tidal wave of uncertainty out of the blue, and I want solid ground.
• I have the grey tickles of worry and stress… the black curtain of really low mood.
• I have reason to be really cross and in moments I feel like shouting really loudly.
• I’m beat. I feel beaten down on. I don’t have the energy.
• Someone really important to me is no longer in my life how they were.
• Even in a place of lots of people, loneliness is there.

🌟 Why Clients Come to Me for Support

I support clients experiencing a broad spectrum of concerns, whether you’re grappling with anxiety, depression, stress, feeling sad, or loneliness, or facing challenges such as addiction, health anxiety, or work-related stress. My practice is informed by an understanding of neurodiversity, so if you’re navigating issues others describe as ADHD, autism, social anxiety, or attachment disorder, we can tailor our work together to fit how you uniquely experience the world and help you find your own descriptions. I also help individuals processing trauma, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), dissociation, or panic attacks, and I offer support for those coping with bereavement, emotional abuse, or abuse more broadly. If you’re wrestling with low self-esteem, low self-confidence, perfectionism, or patterns of anger management that feel overwhelming, I’ll collaborate with you to build healthier coping strategies.

For relationship and family work, I draw on a range of approaches. For example, integrative counselling, person-centred therapy to address family issues, couples therapy, and the pain of affairs and betrayals. I provide LGBTQ+ counselling in a fully affirming, nonjudgmental environment and have experience supporting queer clients through identity exploration and relational concerns. We can also find ways to shift patterns of self-criticism and shame if this is a problem in your world.

In practice, I often combine tools from a range of approaches. Clients often ask for tools from the popular cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) and draw on tools from psychodynamic therapy, and I can tailor these techniques to ensure each session meets your needs. Whether you’re striving to reclaim a sense of safety after emotional trauma or to establish firm boundaries when navigating relationships, my aim is to create a compassionate, collaborative space where your mental health matters. From the first moment we speak, I want you to feel heard and supported as we work together to move from feeling stuck toward a clearer, more empowered path forward.