I AM DOING FB, ZOOOM COUNSELLING DURING ISOLATION PERIOD.
Welcome! ( exYATES) I am a warm, caring and 'fully qualified' ex-Relate Couples Counsellor with 30yrs+ experience. My main specialism is all issues involving RELATIONSHIPS (including ABUSE). I also work with people living with a 'STOMA'. I see COUPLES/SINGLES/FAMILY/CHILDREN of all sexual orientations. I am also a SEX Therapist and Accredited FAMILY MEDIATOR, offering a flexible ‘No Waiting’ policy. My service is professional and confidential in a private setting - I derive great joy seeing people become happy again.
Swanland, East Yorkshire, HU14 3RB (within 6 miles of Hull city centre)
Over the past 34yrs I have gained a considerable amount of valuable experience through working as a Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Family Mediator/Lecturer. I have worked with all aspects and complexities of relationships from preparation for co-habitation or a baby, to reconciliation or divorce/Child related contact and residence Court cases and because of this I feel that I have been privileged in seeing relationships in an holistic way - 'The whole picture' is giving me valuable insight which helps me to help you. I look forward to meeting you :-)
Affairs, relationship breakdown,depression, anger, stress, anxiety, drinking, eating disorders etc can be symptoms of an underlying problem such as sexual issues, past issues, work issues etc which are not being dealt with. These symptoms are often a 'flag' used to draw attention to a problem. A way of saying HELP! All of which do not have to result in separation or divorce!!!
Sometimes people feel that they want to divorce when in actual fact they have other issues which are too difficult to deal with so they focus on something which they can control, like separation.
Things are not always as they seem - affairs for instance, need NOT mean the end, indeed, for some couples it is the beginning of a much deeper and more healthy relationship.
SERVICES AND THEORIES I AM 'QUALIFIED' TO OFFER.
- COUPLES, SINGLES, CHILDREN and FAMILY COUNSELLING
- PSYCHO-SEXUAL THERAPY
- FAMILY MEDIATION
- PRIVATE TUTORING FOR STUDENT COUNSELLORS OR MEDIATORS
- C.B.T, PERSON-CENTRED, TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS, PSYCHODYNAMIC AND SYSTEMS THERAPY.
Wanting to speak to someone urgently and tired of being told you are on a waiting list which are sometimes double waiting lists and don’t want to wait for an appointment?
Need some support or guidance?
Relationship in trouble?
Shocking news of an affair?
Traumatised through eg: Rape, act of Anger, accident, violence, addiction or any other shocking news.
Childhood abuse that has finally come to the surface.
Feeling panicky, afraid, confused, angry, sad, devastated, worried, shocked, depressed, lost, lonely or just uneasy?
You are gay and afraid you will not be accepted or listened to.
Cannot sort out contact or residence for the children?
Want help to pass counselling assignments?
Cannot find a tutor to run a course?
Not happy sexually?
Then you have come to the right place!
COUPLE AND SINGLES COUNSELLING
Some issues I work with:
- Preparation for: Pre-co-habitation, pre-marital, pre-natal or pre-divorce.
- Reconciliation or separation
- Life skills
- Sexual problems - for couples or singles
- Rape or Sexual abuse (past or present) - is it affecting your relationship
- Anger issues/management
- Physical abuse (past or present) - it could be affecting your relationship
- Affairs - they do not just happen, there is usually a reason
- Keeping your relationship going- you do have to work at it
- Trying to keep everyone happy
- Should I go or should I stay?
- Will I cause damage to the kids?
- General guidance
- Parental guidance
- Divorce / Separation guidance
- Want to talk something through for clarity or make important decisions.
- Want help and guidance to decide the next move
- Explore past or current issues, or future events
- Need to resolve difference with someone - family member not getting on with another etc?
- Think your ‘going mad’ or maybe your partner has said that you are
- Not sure if you are still ‘in love’
- Feel stuck or trapped
- Don't know how to break the news - particularly to children.
- He/She doesn't want sex
- 'He is only nice when he wants sex'
- We repeat the same old patterns
- Is change possible and will it last?
- Don't want to repeat habits or patterns
So, who am I and what do I have to offer you?
I am a mature, very experienced, caring and empathic person who gets a lot of value from helping my clients develop and find happiness. As a human being I have experienced ‘life’ and some of its frailties; I know what being counselled feels like and of how important that relationship is between you; how scary your first crucial appointment can be and what the repercussions can be to have to wait ‘too long’ to be seen. Conversely, I know what it feels like to become ‘whole’ again and find happiness. It was at this stage, over 30years ago, that I decided that I wanted to become a counsellor and do for others as someone had once done for me. My whole career has since been devoted to working with and studying relationships within the caring profession.
Relationship counselling can involve other issues such as loss, rejection, betrayal, domestic abuse, affairs, choice, change, trauma, other family members – the list is endless. In counselling, skills are learned and in particular communication, which is the biggest perpetrator of relationship breakdown. It is surprising what actually surfaces and how much you learn about yourself and each other once you have decided to take that first step towards recovery……….. The worst bit is making that first approach and therefore, I hope that some of the following will give you some guidance about your choices.
Because you visited this site, it is highly likely that you are looking for help, guidance and support - AND quickly; it may be something which you feel is relatively minor or it may be something very distressing which could prevent you from thinking properly. A possible consequence might mean that it is difficult to make a decision, even about which therapist to choose and, it is very important that you do choose the right person because this is the person who has to be entrusted with some of the most delicate areas in your life. It is imperative for you to feel trust, respect and have confidence in your therapist - this will make a difference to your recovery.
What you will NOT want, I guess, is to have to wait for an appointment or to be put on a double list.
So, how do you choose the right person for you?
Diploma is the minimum qualification for 1 – 1 Counselling; Diploma for Psychosexual Therapy; Couple Counsellors have to have a different qualification of equal value. Children's counselling is specialized, too and needs a proper qualification. Family Mediators have to be properly qualified - A short course in Mediation is NOT a Qualification which usually takes between 2-3 yrs.
Instinct is always a good indicator but to satisfy yourself explore before choosing your therapist by checking some things out:
Here are some of my answers to questions I might expect clients to ask.
- All my original qualifications are on display in my room - it is important that you actually see the qualifications.
- I have worked in excess of ten thousand practice hours
- I have been working for 32 uninterrupted years with the exception of the occasional week or two holiday.
- My specialism’s are: One to One Counselling, Couple Counselling, Psychosexual Therapy, Sexual Abuse/Rape, Anger Management, Family Mediation, Children Counselling. Additional Professional Development training. Supervision for trainee and qualified counsellors. Private tuition for student counsellors.
- My specialist subjects are anything to do with relationships from pre-co-habitation/pre-natal guidance and counselling; reconciliation; divorce and financial settlement. Sexual and Domestic Abuse.
- My fees are: Counselling fees £45 per hour - First session will be between 1 and 1 ½ hours.
- Psychosexual Therapy £50 or session
- Family Mediation or Family counselling £45 or hourly session.
Signs you have relationship problems
- communication breaks down
- sex has ended or causes problems
- arguments continue without resolution
- Anger or violent eruptions
- depression or other health problems recur
- the bond of trust is eroded or broken.
It is normal for relationships to suffer as the pressure and strains of everyday life mount. Love may disappear, replaced by resentment and anger. Each partner can view this differently depending on their own experience of family life. One may despair, while the other may view it as a temporary blip.
Where a couple has attached hastily - in response to a passion, pregnancy or other need, disappointments can surface and fester when the excitement subsides. Renegotiating, with a skilled counsellor, can help build a more realistic and deeper relationship.
FAMILY MEDIATION / Divorce or Separtion
'The Government has made it compulsory from April 6th 2011 for couples to consider mediation before issuing court proceedings to deal with money, property or children.'
I am one of the few original non-solicitor family mediators who worked for the charity 'Hull Family Mediation Service' for 24 years. I now run a private practice and compete very strongly with the court's 'adversarial' system.
WHY USE (JO YATES)-EASTERBROOK - (A NON-SOLICITOR MEDIATOR )?
- I am highly specialised and qualified in child mediation
- I am one of Hulls most experienced Familymediators.
- I offer out of hours appointments.
- No waiting for appointments.
- My charges are a fraction of the cost of solicitors.
- I am also a qualified and experienced relationship counsellor so you will be treated with care and empathy.
- I work towards a Less acrimonious approach.
- My process is much quicker.
- If you want to take control of your own situations.
- The environment I use is friendly and private.
- I do not charge for letters and telephone calls.
- Free car parking
AREAS OF FAMILY MEDIATION:
I am now retired from financial and house mediation but I still practice child Contact and Residency mediation.
Couples who are separating or separated and want to improve their relationship with each other as parents.
WHEN WOULD MEDIATION NOT WORK
- If it is too soon after your separation.
- If there has been any protection order placed.
- If there has been any violence or if you are afraid / feel intimidated by your ex.
- If there is a real power imbalance where you will feel manipulated by your ex.
- If either of you are not willing to negotiate your own outcome.
Training, qualifications & experience
University of Lincolnshire and Humberside 1996 BA (Hons) (Counselling). 2/1.
University of Lincolnshire and Humberside 1995 Diploma in Counselling
University of Huddersfield 1999 PGCE (Adult Education)
Herbert Grey College, Rugby 1996 Certificate CCMC (Relate)
National Family Mediation 1998 Certificate in Mediation
National Family Mediation 1998 Accreditation as Mediator
National Family Mediation 1998 Certificate in Supervision
Legal Aid Board 1998 Competent Assessment in Legal Aid Mediation
National Family Mediation 2000 Full Mediation Accreditation
Herbert Grey College, Rugby 2001 Diploma in Psychosexual Therapy (CBT/Psychodynamic
Professional Experience: Counsellor in Private Practice and with Relate
Thiry two years work as an Integrated Couples and 1-to-1 Counsellor; nineteen years as a Psychosexual Therapist; twenty nine years as a Children’s Counsellor/Mediator.
I was trained in many different theories including: Person-Centred, Family Systems, Solution Focussed, Couples, Psychodynamic, CBT & T.A. and use which ever is appropriate at the time.
In my private practice I have various contracts with: Chanel 4 TV; Private companies, Hull City Council, G.P’s, schools and private individuals. I have worked In excess of ten thousand practice hours.
· Family Mediator
Twenty seven continuous years, mediating families in conflict, with Hull and District Family Mediation Service;
eight years mediating with DSS, SEN/LEA in schools and workplace mediation.
· Professional Practice Consultant (Supervisor)
Twelve years work as a Professional Practice Consultant (Supervisor) for the Hull and District Mediation Service. In private practice I am a clinical supervisor for practicing and trainee counsellors. I train mediators to become qualified.
Further and Community Education Lecturer/Tutor
Nine year’s experience in community education outreaches, teaching various counselling and social skills courses, to adults.
Nine year’s experience teaching basic level to up to Counselling Degree courses.
I have worked for seven years at HM Prison Everthorpe, teaching social, life and basic skills.
British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy
BACP is one of the UK’s largest professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy. Therapists registered with the Association fall into a number of different membership categories such as Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP and Registered Member MBACP (Accred), each standing for different levels of training and experience. MBACP (Accred) and MBACP (Snr Accred) members have achieved a substantial level of training and experience approved by the Association.
Registered members can be found on the BACP Register, which was the first register to achieve Accredited Voluntary Register status issued by the Professional Standards Authority. Individual Members will have completed an appropriate counselling and/or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but will not appear on the BACP Register until they've progressed to Registered Member MBACP status.
All members are bound by a Code of Ethics & Practice and a Complaints Procedure. Accredited by the Professional Standards Authority.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Relationship of all kinds including workplace relationships. This may involve counselling several people together.
Family Mediation - save, possibly thousands of pounds on solicitor's fees. Resolve contact issues for the children and their parents.
Workplace Mediation - save a lot of heartache, money and prevent absences. Simple and quick resolution. 99% of my cases have been successful.
As an ex-lecturer in Counselling I offer private Tuition - Reduced fees for students
£50.00 per session
Concessions offered for
My fees are:
- Couples or Singles Counselling fees are £50 per hour. First session will be between 1 and 1 ½ hours. An additional £5 for weekend appointment. If 6 sessions are paid for in advance there will be a reduction of £12
- Family Mediation fees are charged £50 hour each for child only issues.
- Concessions for counselling for student counsellors
No waiting. AM, PM, EVE, Appoints. Flexible to suite clients. Whilst we are socially distance I am offering FaceTime, Zoom, Houseparty or Skype etc
I take referrals from Individuals, The National Health, The Law Court, GP’s, Private Companies, The Council: Chanel 4 TV.BBC. YTV
I have counselled - VIP's, film stars, and other well knows celebrities.
I am the author of:
- How Divorce and Separation my affect your Children. (1998)
- Sexual Boredom
- Sexual abuse in childhood
Due for publication is:
- Symptoms and effects of Affairs
- Sexual Abuse
- A guide for men about women