Rebecca Friday

I am based in Manchester City Centre offering face to face and online counselling.

Anxiety, depression, emotional distress, life's upheavels, bereavement are just some of the reasons causing emotional pain.  As we move through life some of our past experiences can stay alive in our day to day and cause pain and distress.  I believe everyone has the ability to find their way through tough times and heal and grow.  I have worked with many different presenting issues in a sensitive and compassionate way. I am a person centred counsellor and will explore with you anything you bring.  What that means, is it’s about you and how you got here. 

I believe in Carl Rogers approach, in which he described person centred therapy as, the process of change and self actualisation - as one of listening to the feelings of the client and through this they become able to recognise their own feelings. They may be isolated from their experience but this is regained through listening to their feelings and loosening the rigidly held constructs. They may start to look at aspects of their life which they were unable to understand or place meaning in but slowly they can focus on these aspects. (Rogers 1967 pg 63-99)

Effective counselling is you being listened to in an empathetic way - a place to bring feelings and emotions and seek to explore those deeply, to the point they are fully realised, acknowledged and integrated into our organic self.  I use my listening skills and seek to understand those feelings and often voice unspoken feeling and emotions, that I become aware of as you speak your truth.  This requires a place which is safe and confidential where you can explore difficult feelings.  To do that you need unconditional positive regard, a place where you are fully accepted and understood.  A place where I receive you with compassion, kindness and goodness.  I may bring your image of yourself into focus and seek to understand where that has come from.  This may allow you to unburden yourself as you understand why you feel a certain way.  It is often at this point you become aware that a troubling belief or emotion makes perfect sense based on what happened to you.  This can release a burden you have been carrying around and bring new experiences into your life.  

There is no one size fits all in therapy - it is your life and you are unique, your experiences, background are unique, your family, work, hobbies all paint a picture that only you have fully experienced.  Because of this, there are no right answers, there is no advice I can give, the way forward will become known to you through the process of therapy.  What is right for you will be based on all your experiences and feelings and these will be different from another persons.  It can be an important part of therapy, learning that your feelings are valuable and important.  For example, we may have learnt to subvert our needs to survive in a complex family environment.  Learning to speak our truth and needs can be very frightening but also liberating.  The counselling room is a place to learn more about ourselves and what we need to shape our world.    

I offer a safe, respectful, non-judgemental, confidential space to explore whatever it is that brings you here. I ensure we go at your pace. I believe you should retain autonomy over your experiences and ways forward. I believe everyone has an ability to grow and develop and I will stand with you as you start/continue that journey. I offer the therapeutic conditions for change and believe you are the expert on your own experience and can enact change when those conditions are in place.  

I believe everyone has the actualising tendency and you can strive to change towards the best possible fulfilment of your potential.  That you can trust your own thoughts and feelings and make decisions in accordance with your own perceptions.

The most common terms in mental health are anxiety and depression and a little is said below on these topics. Plus I say a little on common presenting issues which can be helped through counselling and being offered the therapeutic process.

Anxiety is a natural part of being human and most of us will experience anxiety from time to time.  It can be a response to both danger and a new experience.  It can become a problem when we are either stuck with these feelings and they don’t pass or create unhelpful responses that cause other problems in our life, such as drinking, drug taking and other risky behaviour.  

Anxiety can create physical reactions, feelings of our heart pounding, panic attacks etc.  These can be alleviated using techniques such as breathing exercises and relaxation techniques.  They can also be helped through counselling and changing our thoughts but also change in other ways unique to you.  

Depression is described by The World Health Organisation as:

Depressive disorder, or depression, is a common mental health condition that can happen to anyone. It is characterized by a low mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time.

This is different from regular mood changes and feelings about everyday life. Depressive episodes last most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks. People with depression may experience disturbed sleep and changes to their appetite. They may have feelings of low self-worth, thoughts about dying and hopelessness about the future. Tiredness and poor concentration are also common.

Depression results from a complex interaction of social, psychological and biological factors. People who have lived through abuse, severe losses or other adverse events are more likely to develop depression. Problems at school and work can also result in depression.

Depression often manifests as a range from mild through to severe.  It can be a very normal reaction to life events such as bereavement or illness.  It can be more severe and harder to shift with prolonged periods of low mood and sadness.  It can affect sleep, confidence, energy levels and show itself as anger and result in one withdrawing from loved ones and things we previously enjoyed.  

Below are some of the things which may trigger a need for counselling:

Grief - this is an experience all of us will go through at some time.  It is both a natural and personal experience and part of being human.  How we experience grief and mourning will be affected by our relationship with that person whilst living, the manner of their passing, our other experiences of grief and many other things.  It is often hard to comprehend that that person is no longer part of our day to day lives. This is especially hard if they have been there with us every day.  

It can also be compounded by a view we should be “over it” by a certain time, but there is no set time or way to mourn.  There is no normal.  Talking about our feelings to others can sometimes result in awkwardness as friends and family can avoid saying much in case they say the wrong thing.  

Grief is a process and feelings of numbness, anger and sadness are some of the feelings which can be worked through and there is no set time for the process to be completed.  It can help to have somewhere to take, often complex feelings, and explore how you are experiencing the loss.  

Divorce - can be a huge life changing event and understanding whether this is the route you wish to take is important.  Seeking to understand if there is a chance of finding a compromise and change within the relationship or if the balance tips towards separation can be vital for accepting the decision to stay or leave a relationship.  Counselling gives you the space to understand that decision and consider the wider family dynamic in a safe space. It can sometimes be similar to experiencing grief as loss can be part of separation and accepting the relationship is no longer part of your future can mean grieving its end. 

Change - Life doesn’t stand still and can bring big alterations.  It can be very stressful as we go through lives upheavals such as moving house, a new job, having a baby, dealing with teenages, children leaving home and retirement. These are just some of the challenges presented over our lifetimes.  There are also concerns about Climate Change and Global shifts which can impact our mental health.  All these can be helped by learning more about ourselves and how we would like to respond to our changing circumstances.  

Addiction - this is a complex issue which involves a combination of brain circuitry seeking a substance hit and also a self medication for painful life events which overwhelm us at different times.  It can be a quick release when little else will work but often that release is temporary or causes more problems, such as impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. 

Therapy can help one explore the why and seek a compassionate understanding of what has led to addiction.  

If you wish to consider working with me, please contact me for a free 15 minute telephone conversation to determine whether I can help you and also discuss arrangements for an initial first session.  

I offer online and face to face sessions, which are 50 minutes long. The first session is free and is online to allow you to consider if you want to work with me and also for me to ensure I am the right Counsellor for you.  

I look forward to hearing from you.

I work online on a Thursday, Saturday and Sunday but face to face at other times.  

I will listen to you and accept you fully as you are, offering deep empathy to ensure you feel safe. This is a therapeutic space where you will be prized and invited to explore sometimes painful issues in a candid way. The therapeutic relationship facilitates the development of trust and enables new pathways to emerge from which you can find a different approach.

Counselling does not involve giving you advice or a diagnosis.