Dr Fraya Wolf

My credentials:

I am a BACP registered and accredited counsellor & psychotherapist, with a BA in Person-Centred Counselling and Psychotherapy, a Master's in psychology; and a PhD in psychological, social and behavioural sciences. I am also a certified VITA (vital and integrated Tantric approach) sex, love and relationship coach and a certified Imago Therapist. 

I work in London, East Sussex and via Zoom with couples and individual adults. My approach is trauma-informed from vast experience and training in front line services and specialised agencies, and from my own lived experience. I work holistically with the mind, body and spirit as a whole and complete system, which can get out of balance. This means that in addition of offering traditional talking therapy I work somatically, which means in the body - this doesn't mean touching your body, but using mindfulness, breathwork, energy work, sound and movement. I also work relationally, which means the therapeutic relationship is key to both individual and couples work. 

My experience:

I have worked in private practice for almost 20 years now but I learned my craft in very challenging environments with our society's most vulnerable and traumatised clients: male prisoners, survivors of sexual and domestic violence, people experiencing addiction at different ends of the social scale in both community settings and high-end residential treatment centres.  My doctoral thesis focussed on helping professionals improve their responses to clients typically blamed for their own problems and I developed a training programme for a wide range of practitioners to better support deeply traumatised clients.  These experiences have helped me to understand client issues at a deep level and the ability to recognise multiple factors involved in complex problems. Importantly, I believe in post-traumatic growth, strength and human flourishing, no matter what the background and circumstances of the person. I have also had a lifelong fascination with relationships and how to have good ones - no matter what our histories are. 

My way of working:

As a humanistic therapist, my way of working is deeply relational. I focus on processes in the here-and-now, and use the therapeutic relationship to understand other relationships. I understand the therapeutic space as a microcosm of clients' lives - what happens in the therapeutic process is often what happens outside of it too. Recognising and understanding these processes involving behaviours, thoughts and feelings can help clients make changes in order to move towards a more authentic way of being, and to create more meaning and purpose in life.

I work hard to create the right conditions for growth and change, which involves connecting with clients,  building a good therapeutic relationship, respecting my clients' autonomy and capacity for self-growth, and helping to foster self-sufficiency and agency. I am a reliable, ethical and competent practitioner, offering the possibility of in-depth relational work at a level that produces good results.

With couples, I use Imago dialogue, which is a communication system developed by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Imago was popularised in their hugely successful book, Getting the Love You Want - featured on the Oprah Winfrey show multiple times. I was also trained with the legendary Layla Martin, guru of the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality. I use the foundational pillars of Tantra: energy, breath, movement, sound and mindfulness through a powerful and effective range of somatic practices and exercises to help couples with a wide range of issues relating to communication, connection and intimacy. I work a lot with couples where one or both partners have issues rooted in trauma and offer my services weekly, fortnightly or through intensive therapy weekends in clients' homes or private venues away from home. 

Individuals coming to me for relational issues benefit hugely from my work with couples. In supporting couples to have more conscious partnerships, these skills are highly transferable to people wanting change in their relationships. For example: I can help people come to terms with a bad relationship and support them to leave it, or find the support to fix it if they want to stay and work on it; I enjoy coaching clients into conscious dating, which is a spiritual, self-loving approach to finding a love mate; I can also help single people to love their status more, if that is what they choose. 

How therapy and coaching can help:

Talking really helps. Verbalising the thoughts and feelings that go around in our heads can bring clarity and insights where previously there was confusion and a lack of understanding. Being understood by another human being, feeling accepted for who we really are, and being able to be our real selves without judgment can lead to a sense of freedom and power. Being in a therapeutic relationship can help us to work on issues that prevent us being the best versions of ourselves that we can be and, so, we can more easily reach our potential when addressing the things that get in the way for us.

Sometimes, people need more than just talking. I have found the saying, "you can't talk your way out of trauma", to be true and, in my lifelong quest to understand how people can not only survive trauma, but thrive, I have developed a more holistic and somatic way of working. This might look like guiding clients through some breathwork, meditation and visualisation, in exercises such as aspecting work, which is a somatic form of parts work from IFS (Internal Family Systems) where we bring awareness to different parts of ourselves, such as the inner child. This is powerful work as it reaches parts that are difficult to access via talking, and I see big changes in a very short space of time once a client can step into this way of working with me. It takes courages and can be challenging but very effective.

Personally, I went on a plant medicine trauma-release and healing retreat, so I understand this process well and can offer clients who are undergoing similar experiences specialised therapy for integration, which is a hugely important part of this work. 

What to expect in your first counselling session:

If you contact me and make an appointment for counselling, our first session will be a form of introduction for both of us. You will see how it feels to talk to me and I will ensure that I am competent to work with your issues and to assess the appropriateness of our working together. There will be time to ask each other questions, so that we can decide if we want to work together, and feel into whether we are a 'good fit' for each other. This introductory session will usually last for 20-30 minutes and is complimentary. If we decide that we will work together, we'll work out how long we might expect the therapy to last for and find a suitable day and time. It will be either be short-term work or long-term therapy with regular 6-10 weekly reviews. 

I have been providing couples counselling for a number of years from the person-centred approach, using Imago dialogue. I am currently training as a sex, love and relationship coach and will be offering coaching in the new year to women and couples. My most recent trainings have incorporated Tantra and been spiritual, in contrast to my previous academic and scientific background.

Individuals - 60 minutes via Zoom - £90

Individuals - 60 minutes in-person in Pimlico  - £120

Couples - 80-90 minutes via Zoom - £120

Couples - 80-90 minutes in-person in Pimlico - £150

I also offer intensive therapy/coaching weekends for couples @ £2400 plus expenses for travel and accommodation - although, I am happy to stay with you in your home. Intensive therapy over a period from Friday to Sunday can replace or supplement weekly sessions and are ideal for:

a)     Couples in crisis, focusing on supportive dialogue, when there is an urgent need for assistance.

b)     Couples wanting to focus on intimacy and connection, in an unhurried and private environment.

Concessionary rates available

1-9pm (last slot 7.30pm) online via ZoomTuesdays, Wednesdays in South Kensington. Thursdays in Pimlico.

From September 2024, I start in a wonderful new therapy space that I have found specifically for working with both individuals and couples in a more embodied way that goes beyond talking therapy and comes from a sex, love and relationship coaching training that I undertook in 2020 at the Tantric Institute of Integrated Sexuality. 

I use embodied practices primarily when working with trauma as I find them hugely useful for shifting trauma that resides in the body and is not so accessible through talking. The most powerful tool I know for this purpose is called aspecting work that is conducted on the floor on cushions, which is why I have sought out a therapy room that has plenty of cushioned floor space. The room I found is in Gloucester Road, Kensington, and is perfect for this work. 

Please contact me for more details.