Jayne Newman
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This professional is available for new clients.
This professional is available for new clients.
About me
You're probably reading this because things aren't going so well?
We're all fellow strugglers.
No one takes us to one side in the maternity ward and hands us a manual on how to be happy and fulfilled as individuals, or how to raise happy, healthy and successful kids! Or indeed how to have a happy relationship with our partners.
We're all just doing our best with the resources we have. But sometimes things stop working, maybe they've never really worked? The things we do, somehow seem to cause more problems than they solve?
Let's think about how to sharpen some of the tools in your tool kit and get rid of those that no longer work and maybe add a few new strategies that you hadn't thought about...
Am I right for you?
I have a private room at my home in a quiet road where I work with families, couples, individuals and young people.
I've helped clients understand and deal with:
- divorce and separation
- should I stay or should I leave?
- getting over a relationship
- step/blended families
- single parenting
- difficulties with relationships through the teenage years
- drugs
- alcohol
- smoking
- phobias - flying, spiders, dark, public speaking etc
- bereavement
- difficulties with the effects on the family of drug and alcohol misuse
- anger
- violent and abusive behaviour
- depression
- self harm
- bullying
- low self esteem and low confidence
- how to communicate more effectively
- when children grow up and leave home
"If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever.....Is that good news?" (W.Somerset Maugham)
Why do we continue to do what we do, when it doesn't help us?
This is the question that drove me from being a partner in a financial services firm with my now ex-husband to a single parent therapist. (**WARNING** That's not the right solution for everyone - but it is still right for me 12 years later...)
Why do we do the things we do, even though the behaviour no longer serves us?
"Bad" habits or addictions
Why are they here and what do we do about them?
Maybe you or someone close to you are doing things like drinking, smoking, using drugs, working too hard, porn, sex, gambling, shopping etc?
We all do things that will meet our basic human needs and if we don't meet them in positive ways, we'll meet them through quick and easy negative behaviours that cause even more problems for us and our loved ones in the long run. They all serve a purpose, they fulfil a need in us.
We are human. These are survival patterns that have been hijacked by quick fixes that cause stress and aggravation in the longer term.
Stress, anxiety and depression
Most people don't have effective strategies to deal with stress, anxiety or depression so we'll use drugs (legal and illegal) to block it out or a behaviour that ends up causing longer term problems.
The thing is, that we end up with at least two times more problems - our bodies suffer side effects, drugs cost money and we don't really ever deal with with underlying problem.
Would you like to find better ways to deal with the things that are not going so well in life?
What if you have to make a decision to change jobs or end a relationship?
Sometimes changing the way we respond to situations can make a huge difference. Sometimes changing our beliefs and the way we are looking at a situation or person can make the difference.
About a century ago, Carl Jung said that:
You can't solve a problem that was created in the unconscious mind, using the conscious mind;
and he was right.
So if problems are caused in the unconscious part of our brains (most are,) we can't think our way out of them? So how do we overcome them and use them to our advantage?
Let's figure this out and understand what's going on for you and how we can shift the damage and burdens of the past? Many of us have had traumas and extremely difficult things to deal with.
What if you could detach the pain from the past?
...and either accept it for what it is, an appalling past event, or maybe use the experience to grow in understanding and wisdom so that you can be free to live a happier, more fulfilled life?
It is possible and more quickly than you might imagine.
Presentations and public speaking
Most problems have been incorrectly coded in the unconscious part of our brain, the part that is responsible for the flight, fight freeze response that keeps us alive.
We need to teach our limbic system that we aren't going to die if we have to make presentation at work! Right now its making us sweat, go red, stammer, want to throw up! We have to recode this as a normal thing that's helpful for our survival, we get experience, recognition, promotion, feel great we've shared our knowledge etc etc - not really life threatening is it?
This is a reality in my day to day work.
We'll work on the issues together and if we can't blow them away in one go, we'll dismantle the jigsaw piece by piece, turn it over and create a much better picture on the other side.
Why can't you have a happy relationship?
Our brains aren't designed to make us happy, they're designed to keep us alive and they do this by pattern matching.
This is why we get triggered, the emotional, unconscious part of our brain stores things that have been pleasurable and also things that have caused us pain in the past and then we go through life wondering why we can't have a relationship or why we're scared to get on a plane or many other things that make no logical sense.
Emotional responses are NOT logical, that's why we can talk about them 'til the cows come home and it will make very little difference to how you respond.
Whenever I do this work it's not surprising to me to uncover that the root of the issue is because a boy or girl that we liked called us names in school when we secretly fancied them - but we were only 9 at the time!
In this example, unconsciously we carry the imprint of rejection and match all other relationships to this event and it gets reinforced over the years.
Is it any wonder why, relationships feel scary, if a similar negative consequence happened to you happened to you (even though you might not be consciously aware of it)?
Phobias?
What about spiders, flying, public speaking, interviews, socialising etc etc....Same thing! Your unconscious brain is just trying to protect you.
We need to upgrade the hard drive with new information.
We can find the root, interrupt and change these unconscious patterns to create more helpful and empowering ways of handling relationships, work and life.
I look forward to working with you.
Training, qualifications & experience
I'm a Relate trained and experienced counsellor working with families, couples, young people and individuals.
I have a Masters degree in family and relationship therapy, a Relate certification in working with young people.
I've worked in schools, health centres and my own private practice, counselling and coaching families, couples, individuals and young people.
I am an NLP master practitioner, trained by John Grinder and Michael Carroll at The NLP Academy
Life Coach trained by Tony Robbins, Cloe Madanes and Mark and Magali Peysha at RMT
Cognitive hypnotherapist trained by Trevor Silvester at the Quest Institute
Along with all of my colleagues, I continue to add additional knowledge and skills through ongoing development, in order to sharpen my effectiveness in working with you.
My specialisms are in:
Addictions/habit breaking - smoking, drinking, drugs, porn, gambling etc.
Relationships - staying together or deciding to leave
Work and career coaching - should you stay or start your own business?
Member organisations
BACP is one of the UK’s leading professional bodies for counselling and psychotherapy with around 60,000 members. The Association has several different categories of membership, including Student Member, Individual Member, Registered Member MBACP, Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Accred) and Senior Registered Accredited Member MBACP (Snr Acccred).
Registered and accredited members are listed on the BACP Register, which shows that they have demonstrated BACP’s recommended standards for training, proficiency and ethical practice. The BACP Register was the first register of psychological therapists to be accredited by the Professional Standards Authority (PSA).
Accredited and senior accredited membership are voluntary categories for members who choose to undertake a rigorous application and assessment process to demonstrate additional standards around practice, training and supervision.
Individual members will have completed an appropriate counselling or psychotherapy course and started to practise, but they won’t appear on the BACP Register until they've demonstrated that they meet the standards for registration. Student members are still in the process of completing their training.
All members are bound by the BACP Ethical Framework and a Professional Conduct Procedure.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
- divorce and separation
- should I stay or should I leave?
- getting over a relationship
- step/blended families
- single parenting
- difficulties with relationships through the teenage years
- bereavement
- difficulties with the effects of drug and alcohol misuse
- anger
- violent and abusive behaviour
- depression
- self harm
- bullying
- low self esteem and low confidence
- how to communicate more effectively
- when someone goes to prison
- when children grow up and leave home
Fees
Additional information
Please contact to discuss your individual needs.
When I work
Due to a high level of demand, unfortunately I have no availability at present.