Samantha Merry

I am comfortable working with difficult life stories and complex family dynamics. Therapy with me is a space where you can bring uncomfortable, distressing or confusing issues. Maybe you hide parts of you from others for fear you will be misunderstood. All parts of you are welcome to therapy.  I work well with people who feel stuck and those who have a hard time identifying how they are feeling. Perhaps you have been told you are 'too much' or 'too sensitive' or find yourself ending up in relationships that become dysfunctional or even abusive. Together we will consider what is important to you and thoughtfully explore the story of your life so you can move forward.  Visit my website for further information.

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There could be many reasons why you are seeking therapy. Maybe you feel overwhelmed or are dealing with anxious thoughts, trauma, grief,  guilt, shame or feel pressured to meet the needs of others before your own. Perhaps you feel sad, lonely, stuck or feel trapped in your current life? I help people recover from difficult experiences such as bereavement, family conflict, complex trauma, derealisation, menopause, bullying, religious trauma and creative blocks.

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I have interest in, and experience of supporting adults  who have experienced all manner of emotional distress, for example...

Trauma

Trauma is not reserved to military personnel; trauma also happens in families and within relationships. Sadly, growing up with an alcoholic or abusive parent, experiencing sexual assault or witnessing domestic violence in the family all leave traumatic traces in our lives. Developmental trauma, that is trauma experienced in our childhoods often impacts us later in life. Research shows that trauma impacts our ability to manage emotions, reducing the capacity to manage relationships and enjoy life. Perhaps something has happened recently that has triggered old feelings. Therapy can help support you as you work through your feelings at a pace that is manageable. I am comfortable hearing about, and working with distressing histories and difficult experiences; helping you feel supported without worrying your story is too much.

Bereavement

Grief and loss is inevitable for all of us as we progress through life. Dealing with the death of a loved one can bring up feelings of deep sadness, confusion and even anger. Sometimes grief lifts over time and sometimes it can still cause upset many years later. Grief is not linear; it affects us all in different ways and can resurface when we least expect it. I will help you to work through the grieving process, whether you have lost a parent, a child, a good friend or even a pet. I also offer support for sudden death including sudden illness, accident, suicide or violence.

Dissociation/ Dissociative disorders

We all dissociate sometimes, perhaps you took a journey from A to B and don’t recall all of the journey. Sometimes dissociation is more problematic. Our sense of self, our thoughts, feelings and memories can become disconnected, so it becomes hard to access memories or feel grounded in our identity. Perhaps you don't have many memories of childhood or other important points in your life.  This might be caused by trauma where we have disconnected from the situation in order to survive. here are five types of dissociation- Depersonalisation, Derealisation, Amnesia, Identity confusion and Identity alteration. Whether you have an  official diagnosis, such as Dissociative Identity Disorder or suspect dissociation is present in your life you may find therapy helps you understand your experience and make sense of your life.

Sexual abuse / intimate partner violence

Sexual abuse is defined as any type of sexual activity which is unwanted. Sexual abuse includes rape, being touched sexually without your permission, being coerced or exploited into sexual activity, it also includes having intimate images of yourself shared or posted online without your permission or receiving unsolicited explicit images (sexting). People who have experienced sexual abuse often feel unable to share their experiences with others.  I am here to help you recognise and understand various forms of abuse, whether they are happening now or occurred in the past. This includes identifying gaslighting, coercive control, and psychological, emotional, financial, sexual, and physical abuse. Together, we can explore these experiences in a supportive and safe environment. My approach is compassionate and respectful, aimed at helping you regain a sense of control and empowerment in your life. 

Betrayal Trauma

I  help people navigate the intricate realm of betrayal trauma and interpersonal wounds from a psychodynamic perspective. Drawing upon an understanding of attachment dynamics and early experiences, I support clients in exploring the impact of betrayal on their sense of self, rebuilding trust, and fostering healthier relationships. Through a compassionate and collaborative therapeutic approach, I guide clients in uncovering underlying patterns, processing emotions, and facilitating healing, ultimately empowering them to cultivate self-compassion, establish boundaries, and restore a sense of agency in their lives.

End of life 

Facing a life-limiting or terminal diagnosis, whether it's affecting you personally, a family member, or a close friend, can be an immensely challenging and emotionally turbulent experience. Such circumstances often trigger a myriad of complex and unexpected emotions, ranging from fear and anxiety to sadness and anger. These feelings can be overwhelming and may leave you feeling lost and isolated. Therapy offers a safe and supportive space where you can confront and process these intense emotions. 

Bullying

Bullying behaviour might include being teased in a manner that is hurtful, being humiliated or put down without thought for your feelings, being ignored, intimidated or threatened whether explicitly or implicitly. Bullying might occur in your workplace, in your relationships or in other areas of our life, such as online via social media (cyberbullying). Bullying can leave us feeling isolated and alone. Perhaps you experienced bullying in childhood and the experience still remains with you, or you are supporting your own child through a bullying experience. Speaking out about your experience gives you the opportunity to feel supported and heard so that you can process your feelings. 

Menopause

The added challenges of peri-menopause, menopause, and early menopause on women is very often underestimated. Symptoms and their impact seem to vary between women with many feeling deeply debilitated whilst others seem to sail through the transition. Perhaps you are mourning the loss of your childbearing years, find the lack of sleep affecting your working life or your moods difficult to manage. This sometimes-brutal reminder of ageing can be difficult to manage, and women are notorious for not talking about it with their friends and family. Experiencing an early menopause adds its own difficulties, including the loss of possible motherhood. Counselling can help you work through the frustrations and feelings menopause has brought up and support you to get through the transition.

Difficulty relating to others

Human beings experience all sorts of relationships through life, from parents, partners, the wider family, friends and work colleagues to the supermarket cashier. The quality of our relationships affects our lives. Counselling helps people understand their roles in relationships and recognise any unhelpful patterns that might be present. The therapy provides a safe space to consider other ways to relate.

Therapeutic Writing

Writing for wellbeing goes beyond journaling. In therapy, it becomes a powerful tool for self-discovery. Explore emotions, gain new perspectives, and process challenges at your own pace. Whether writing a letter to your younger self, or crafting a story that reflects your struggles, this approach empowers you to express what might be difficult to say out loud. I offer Therapeutic Writing as an option for clients who find written expression helpful. Writing can  take place within your therapy session or  written between sessions. 

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How I work

You may wish to talk about something in your session that is currently happening in your life, your relationships, work, feelings, or dreams. Sessions are yours to explore whatever emerges. The process may find links to your past that illuminate your present. Therapy is a space where you come to understand yourself better.

I am a trained psychodynamic therapist, this means I am alert to possible unconscious processes which manifest in your behaviour. Psychodynamic therapy endeavours to get to the root cause of your problems and address the symptoms and emotions they bring up for you now. It gives you a safe space to consider how formative experiences might be influencing your relating patterns now, giving you opportunities to consider ways to adapt and change.

It is my job to listen and support you whether you bring an issue located in the here and now or rooted in your past. 

I offer weekly therapy sessions via video call or face to face in Bromley 

Personal Therapy

Therapists undergo their own in depth personal psychotherapy as part of their training. This means I have personal experience of what it feels like to be a client, which helps me understand how the right support can be deeply helpful.

How do I know you are the right therapist for me?

Book an  initial phone call to help you decide. This is a chance for us to see if you feel we could work together, it is important that you feel safe and comfortable with your therapist. There will be time to ask any questions or raise any concerns you may have. Perhaps you will find being listened to really helpful and will want to continue. If you don't that is also OK. You are never obligated to continue if you don't feel I'm quite right for you. 

I offer long-term therapy and which can be especially helpful for deeper seated issues with more time to work in depth.

I also offer short-term counselling which usually provides support for a particular issue or situation, perhaps a job loss, a relationship breakdown or a bereavement. Typically, this would be 12-24 sessions.

What do I do next?

Send me a message to arrange a brief initial phone call where you can tell me a more about what is going on for you and schedule a first appointment. Please give me an idea of your availability and location. I will reply within 48 hours on week days. 

• Difficult childhood experiences: abuse, trauma and neglect
• PTSD, Complex trauma, Dissociation,  Derealisation
• Dissociative identity disorder
• End of Life therapy
• Sudden bereavement including accident, sudden illness, violence or suicide
• Excoriation disorder or chronic skin-picking
• Family breakdown
• Religious trauma 
• Trichotillomania - hair pulling

• 50 minute individual adult session fee £85 

I offer face to face in my Bromley Office or online video sessions.

Monday-Thursday appointments 8am-7pm subject to availability.

Please message or email me to schedule  a free initial phone conversation

Weekly and fortnightly sessions.

Other areas of therapy I work with

• Therapeutic Writing 
• Absent fathers and mothers
• Dissociative identity disorder
• Sibling abuse
• Painful childhood or school experiences
• Family breakdown
• Religious trauma 
• Animal childhood sexual assault (ACSA)
• Situational non speaking / Mutism

Fat Positive - Fat acceptance is the recognition that bodies of all shapes and sizes, including larger ones, are inherently worthy. Body size is neutral.  The systemic oppression people receive day to day life, in healthcare,  employment and even fashion due to body size is deeply harmful.