Paula Marije Clegg

From our earliest experiences as babies and on through our adult lives we are instinctively guided to connect to others for our own wellbeing, and yet most of us find being in a relationship challenging at times – whether that is with our family, partners, friends or colleagues. Perhaps you have felt stuck repeating the same negative emotional pattern with others? Maybe you struggle to express your needs in a relationship, or wish you could deal with conflict in a healthier way?

The skills and behaviours we take into all our relationships are fundamentally shaped by our childhood experiences, determining how we communicate and share our emotional selves. How we experienced growing up in a family also influences the way that we parent our children, as the responsibility and challenge of parenting can often reactivate old emotional wounds.

I believe that the desire to improve how we relate to others goes hand in hand with developing a good relationship with our own Self. For example, consider the difference in how you might feel with an internal critical voice judging your actions, compared to a voice of self-worth valuing what you do. The ability to relate to oneself with compassionate, mindful awareness is key to developing loving relationships with others.

Counselling is a great place to safely explore any behaviours, thoughts and emotions that may be in the way of enjoying a fulfilled, connected life. When working with you I will create a warm, empathic therapeutic space which will support you in building a more secure sense of self. By learning how to listen and respond to your emotions, and how to develop skills of reflection (rather than impulsive reaction) you can begin to communicate with others from a calm, centred position, and feel more able to cope with life’s stresses.

New clients often want to know how long counselling will last for. Naturally this will depend on various factors, such as the issue/s they are needing help with, and the type of help required. Where some clients need practical solutions and focused support within 6-8 sessions, others find the initial sessions grow into a longer and deeper enquiry. In this process they discover new aspects of themselves that had previously been hidden, and uncover a greater meaning to their lives. Bringing together all parts of your life story into a narrative that finally ‘makes sense’ can be very healing. Each of us has a unique story to tell.

Choosing to commit to counselling takes courage. To help you work out if I’m the right counsellor for you, I offer a free 30 minute session (phone, online video or in person) in which you can ask questions and get a sense of who I am and how I work. You can also describe the issues that are bringing you to counselling and what you hope to gain from it. We can then decide if counselling with me is the right option for you at this time.

For more information about me, please visit my website: www.holdingthespace.uk

Grounding, self-soothing techniques to support the body and nervous system

Creative and symbolic therapeutic work to enhance emotional understanding

Attachment loss, adoption issues, generational trauma

I charge £50 per hour for counselling with individual clients, and £65 per hour for relationship work. Occasionally I am able to offer reduced fees for clients on low incomes. Please contact me if you wish to discuss this option.

A free 30 minute session can be arranged if you wish to meet me first to discuss what counselling can offer you, and decide if I am the right person to work with.