Michaela Gill

Hi - I specialise in supporting people who are experiencing feelings of grief and loss. 

If you are suffering grief due to bereavement or other life losses, (such as loss of relationships, career, the ageing process, changes in lifestyle, health or family circumstances), I can provide an opportunity to talk honestly & openly about your feelings and support you to begin to find a way forward.

I have a relaxed and friendly manner and can usually put people at ease very quickly. Our sessions will be purposeful but informal - I want you to look forward to your sessions and feel listened to, valued and understood.

I believe it is vital that you find the right counsellor for you - that’s why I offer a free consultation so that we can both see how we feel about working together before making a commitment.

Grief and Loss

Over the past 13 years, I have developed a special interest in working with clients who have experienced ‘loss’.

This includes bereavement counselling, but also extends to clients who have experienced loss in other ways such as loss of career, relationships, a decline in health or personal identity.

Coping with feelings of loss can be a very difficult and lonely process. These feelings can be triggered by life’s many challenges, including the ageing process, a deterioration in health or changes in lifestyle, career or family circumstances. Counselling can help by providing a safe space to express these difficult emotions and eventually help clients to ‘make sense’ of their situation and begin the healing process.

What is Grief?

Grief refers to the thoughts and feelings we experience when we lose someone or something significant from our lives. Grief is most commonly associated with the death of a loved one, but people can experience grief in relation to a whole range of other losses or life experiences 

Here are some of the ways in which I work with grief and loss

When someone dies….

When someone dies, feelings of grief can be completely overwhelming and it can be one of the most difficult experiences we will ever face. Thoughts & emotions at this time, can differ significantly between individuals. In fact, most people report feeling a whole range of different emotions at different times, including intense yearning, anger, guilt and despair. 

There can also be more confusing emotions such as a sense of relief, resentment or liberation, especially if the deceased person was suffering a long illness or the relationship was problematic in some way.

Much of the grief experience is determined by the nature and intensity of the relationship which has been lost - so grief is a very personal and individual journey and this can feel lonely, isolating and confusing.

Bereavement through Sudden or Traumatic Loss....

The term ‘sudden bereavement’ relates to a death that was unexpected and therefore, in many cases, traumatic. The sudden death may have been caused by an accident, murder or suicide. This kind of bereavement can sometimes become what is known as ‘complex’ or ‘complicated’ bereavement as it can involve an additional layer of shock or trauma. It may be especially difficult for the bereaved person to even ‘believe’ that their loved one has died. 

In these cases, many people report feeling very complicated emotions such as shame and guilt. They can also find it impossible to share their grief with others, as many of their friends, family or colleagues may tend to avoid talking about the loss. 

Grief as a result of Terminal Illness or through Dementia....

This can be a particularly difficult form of grief and can involve intense and prolonged feelings of emotional & physical exhaustion, especially if the bereaved person assumed a caring role before their loved one died or whilst their loved one  experienced Dementia. 

Grief experienced as a result of terminal illness or Dementia often begins before the loved one has actually died. This is known as ‘anticipatory’ grief as the person who is ill typically experiences changes to their physique, their personality and their attitude to life and this can obviously impact on the nature and quality of the relationship they share with loved ones. People may therefore begin to grieve for the person they once knew and the relationship they once had even before their loved one has died. This is similar to the experiences associated with people who are suffering from dementia and their loved ones too. 

Bereaved people may also experience challenging and unexpected emotions such as resentment, guilt, anger and relief.

When a Beloved Pet Dies....

Losing a beloved pet can be devastating and can have a major impact on a person’s way of life. Yet as a society, we fail to recognize the significance of such a loss and this can make grieving for a pet especially difficult. 

Many people say they feel unable to share their intense feelings of grief when a cherished pet dies, for fear of what others might think and some may even feel embarrassed or ashamed at the extent and depth of the grief they experience. 

However, research actually suggests that we can take as long to grieve a beloved pet as we do a person and that the close relationship we forge with our pets can make recovering from this loss incredibly painful. 

A treasured pet becomes part of the family and part of our daily routines. Caring for them involves commitment and responsibility and our lives (and homes) can seem empty without them. 

It is particularly difficult if the grieving owner or guardian has had to make some painful decisions about whether to have their pet euthanised as they may naturally be overwhelmed with feelings of guilt and regret.

Pet bereavement is often an example of what is called ‘disenfranchised’ grief as it can tend to be dismissed by others in the bereaved person’s circle of family, friends or colleagues. .

Grief through other kinds of Life Loss or Life Transition...

Grief most obviously relates to bereavement, but also extends to suffering endured from other kinds of loss, such as loss of career, changes in family circumstances, a deterioration in our health, a relationship break-up, the ageing process or a change in our personal identity. Loss can also be felt when we experience a life transition such as Motherhood, during Menopause or Retirement.

How Counselling can Help

Everyone grieves loss in their own time and in their own way. The process of grief and the feelings experienced by people can vary tremendously. However, many people can feel completely overwhelmed by grief at certain times and simply do not know which way to turn or how to cope with the intense sadness and emotional pain they are feeling. 

Grief can also be very confusing. It is possible for people to go between feeling hopelessness and despair on the one hand, whilst becoming distracted and engrossed in daily tasks at other times. There may even be occasions when a grieving person can enjoy aspects of their lives and relationships, which in turn, can lead to feelings of guilt and regret.

Because of the intensity and range of emotions associated with grief, many people feel as if they are going mad and do not realize that much of their experience is completely normal and to be expected following a bereavement or a life loss. A grief counsellor can help to ‘normalise’ these feelings and so provide much needed reassurance.

Many grieving people also feel unable to share their true thoughts and feelings with others for fear of upsetting others or being regarded as a ‘burden’.

Counselling can help by providing a safe, non-judgmental space, for someone to explore these very difficult feelings openly and honestly. 

 Counselling aims to help people to process their difficult feelings, make sense of their new reality and gradually adjust to their painful loss. 

The counselling process will not try to rush people through their grief journey – a grief counsellor will work at the pace which is right for their client. There is no ‘right’ time by which a person should be ‘getting over’ their grief. Rather, counselling is concerned with allowing people the time they need to work through their feelings of grief and slowly begin to build a new way of life around it.

How to get started with Counselling

To take the next step, please contact me. I will reply to you as soon as possible & usually within 48 hours.

Following this initial contact, we can then arrange a consultation, which is free of charge. This usually lasts for half an hour and can be done either in person or via video link.

The consultation is friendly and informal, but we will discuss your needs and what you want to get out of the counselling process. Following our discussion, if we both feel that counselling is the best option for you and you are happy to go ahead, we can arrange your next appointment.

Practice Location

I am currently offering counselling in person or remotely, via secure video link.

I have a comfortable and easily accessible practice, which is based in Whitley Bay. It is within a few minutes walk of both Whitley Bay and Cullercoats Metro stations. It also has easy on-road parking. Please see below for photographs of my therapy room.

I offer the opportunity for clients to work creatively, if that is of interest to them. This might include working with the concept of the Inner Child, using Nesting / Russian Dolls, Photographs, Timelines, Drawings and/or using Stones in therapy. 

My work is also influenced by Compassion-Focused approaches, so whether I am supporting clients with grief, anxiety or self-esteem, I encourage the development & practice of self-compassion. 

I offer a free half hour initial consultation to discuss your needs. This can be carried out via video or in-person. 

Counselling sessions last 60 minutes and cost £50 per session.

I am happy to work both on a short term (between 4 - 6 sessions) or a longer term basis with clients.