Beth Sibbald

Whatever you're going through, don't go through it alone.

People come to therapy for all sorts of reasons: you may want support with a life event, transition or past trauma, be experiencing anxiety or depression, be feeling dissatisfied in your relationships, be feeling stuck or want to better understand yourself and what you want from life.

I will work with you to build a safe and trusting relationship in which you can feel deeply heard, accepted and supported to share and explore whatever you are experiencing.

I'm fascinated by the ways we search for meaning in our lives, and I know how amazing and transformative good relationships of all kinds can be, and how painful it can be when we struggle to find or keep them. I'm passionate about helping people learn to relate to themselves, others and the world in the fullest possible way. 

We become who we are in our first relationships, and continue to become, in all our relationships, for the rest of our lives. Theories of Attachment and Human Development are central to my approach. In our earliest relationships we learn what is encouraged, expected and valued in us, and what is not. Were you encouraged to talk about your feelings? Were you praised for getting good grades, or for putting others first? Did you learn it was ok to be angry? Did you learn you had to shout loudly to make your needs heard, or that there was no point and it was safer to keep quiet? Did you learn to "pull yourself together" and "get on with it"? That it is safer not to need others? These are just examples of the sorts of things we learn as children, then take with us into future relationships. There can come a point where we realise the ways we adapted as children don't work so well any more in our adult relationships and we aren't getting what we need or feeling happy or fulfilled. 

In a good therapeutic relationship you can learn to feel accepted and valued just as you are. Together we will learn about you and the ways you have learned to be in relationships and in the world, and about what works for you and what doesn't. The more awareness you have, the more possible it becomes to change your patterns and to heal and grow (if you want to!) 

I know what a brave step it can be starting therapy (I've been there). Research now shows that the relationship between client and therapist is the most important factor in determining the success of any therapy (more so than the type of therapy). I offer a free initial appointment so you can get an idea of what it would be like to work together and see if we're a good match. If you think we might be, get in touch, I'd love to hear from you.

There is often one specific issue that brings someone to therapy (depression, addiction, etc.) Central to my approach is the understanding that everything is connected. Whatever you're going through now and whatever ways you have of  coping are understandable in the context of the family and society you grew up in,  and of everything that has happened to you in your life since then. You aren't a diagnosis or a disorder, you are a unique and amazing human being, doing the best you can in the circumstances. It is impossible to separate one issue from the rest of you and your life, and very often therapy becomes about much more than the thing that first caused you to seek help. For this reason I don't find it helpful to say I do work with this issue but not with that one, but for reference the list above includes some of the issues I have experience of working with people on. 

I have a particular interest in working with boarding school survivors. 

If you are unsure whether I can work with you on a specific issue, please ask.