Anxiety, Attachment, Codependency & Trauma | Rachel Cooke | MA BA PgD MNCP
You may well have found your way here feeling anxious about what's ahead, stuck on aspects of the past and not feeling great in yourself. Maybe you’ve noticed that not treating yourself very well and your inner monologue is a lot of shoulds and criticisms. That's exhausting! And you probably want to feel so much more grounded, clear, fulfilled, tuned into your work and relationships.
I’d love to help. Choosing a therapist and starting therapy can be daunting, so please book a free chat with me so you can tell me a bit about your situation, ask me any questions you have as well as make sure you’re comfortable and feel a good click with me.
I specialise in working with eager, sharp, sensitive people of all genders struggling with anxiety, low self worth, relational trauma and the effects of narcissistic abuse. I work with people of all ages but you may well be in your late 20s or 30s, feeling burnt out, disconnected and lost in your relationships (or lack thereof), career or current lifestyle.
Most of us have a difficult relationship with our self esteem; this is the basis of my work. Self esteem is about our belief in our competence (to learn, to cope, to adapt) as well as feeling worthy of happiness. So many of us struggle with one or both aspects, we experience shame, guilt and paralysing fear. Low self worth shows up as anxiety and depression in many shapes and forms; it also often leads to issues in our relationships.
I believe that most, if not all, of us have experienced some degree of trauma, particularly relational trauma, which often leads to insecure attachment in our relationships as adults. We develop and hold onto certain habits, defaults and narratives in our lives that often don’t serve us anymore and can get really locked in.
I don’t love labels, but know they can be useful for getting an initial handle on what’s going on inside us. Maybe you’ve already recognised signs within yourself of what’s called codependency, or “relationship/love addiction”, anxious attachment or strong tendencies towards people-pleasing, poor boundaries, squashing your own needs and abandoning yourself.
Maybe you can identify with the term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or Sensory Processing Sensitivity - you have a finely tuned and easily overstimulated nervous system, high empathy and depth of information processing, are very observant, are affected by people’s moods and atmospheres, have high awareness of environmental subtleties, are imaginative, creative and experience more overwhelming feelings than others. You’re not alone!
Perhaps you’re struggling with the aftershock of a destructive relationship. I have lots of experience working with survivors of many kinds of abuse, particularly narcissistic. It may be/have been at the hands of a parent, sibling, boss or romantic partner and is so often devastating, needing patience and sensitivity to untangle the chaos as well as learn the skills to regulate a chronically dysregulated nervous system.
"Rachel is different to any therapist I've tried - we really connected. She's insightful, funny, calm, really kind, patient and I've grown so much while seeing her. I understand myself so much better and am moving forward like I never thought I could. She simply gets me and I feel safe. Honestly just talk to her and you'll know if she's right for you." - JD, London
I also offer relationship therapy, often called couples counselling, for those who want to work with their partners. I am sex positive, queer allied, kink allied, social justice informed, anti-racist, anti-oppressive and a feminist. I frequently work with gender, sexuality and relationship diversity (GSRD affirmative) which includes polyamory, Relationship Anarchy and other forms of consensual non monogamy. Intersectional feminism informs my practice.
I also offer psychedelic preparation and integration sessions (please note I don’t offer guided/assisted psychedelic work). I run women’s circles (for anyone who identifies as a woman), social justice groups, narcissistic abuse support groups and accountability groups, feel free to email me if you’d like more info!
I've worked with thousands of individuals, couples and groups in the past decade. I have a Master's Degree in Integrative therapy, meaning that I've trained in different types of therapy/counselling so that I can effectively adapt to you as an individual. I have also trained in mindfulness, NLP, Emotionally Focused Therapy and coaching, so that I can offer a blend of coaching therapy.
Contact me on 07591 575260 or email@example.com for a free 10-15 minute consultation to see if you feel the right click and find out how I can help you.
How do I work?
I am attachment-focused, trauma-informed, work relationally and in an embodied way. This doesn’t need to mean much to you reading this! Research has shown over the past several decades that the best predictor of success for therapy is not down to the therapist's training or even experience. It's about the quality of the therapeutic relationship.
For me, the relationship between you and I is the most important part of therapy. Once we base this on safety, openness and realness you will experience shifts in your way of being. And you will likely start to feel more curious about and accepting of yourself, which tends to be a huge relief from the relentless critics in our heads.
I'm easy for most to open up to, genuine, warm, see therapy as a very collaborative process and find space for humour in our sessions. I’m here to be with and alongside you for as long as it feels helpful and growthful.
Where do I work?
I work from calm, private rooms very close to Liverpool Street, Moorgate and Bank stations.
I offer face to face and phone sessions.
I also have extensive experience with online therapy (video, instant messaging, email) to give you the flexibility and convenience you need.
What type of therapy do I practice?
I'm a fully qualified, accredited and insured Counselling Psychotherapist with a Master's Degree in Integrative therapy. This means I utilise a range of types of therapy to allow me to tailor my approach to suit you as effectively as possible. These include CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which focuses on how a person’s thoughts and perceptions affect the way they feel and behave), psychodynamic (sees human functioning as based upon the interaction of drives and forces within the person, particularly unconscious ones) and humanistic therapy (focuses on self-development and growth. Recognises a person's strengths, creativity and choice in the here and now) as well as many branches within those three main approaches.
I’ve also trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy as well as sound therapy. I’m a Clinical Hypnotherapist as well as an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming), Mindfulness Meditation and Emotional Freedom Techniques Practitioner. I use elements of psychodrama, attachment-based therapy, Internal Family Systems, Gestalt, Existential, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Somatic Experiencing, Hakomi, Acceptance and Commitment therapy as well as Compassion-Focused therapy. I follow Brené Brown's work on shame and vulnerability as well as having devoured everything I can get my hands on about Polyvagal Theory which has added incredible new dimensions to my work with my clients. I’m also a big fan of Gabor Maté and his Compassionate Inquiry.
I have experience in and regularly work with a range of issues, some of which include: anger, generalised anxiety disorder and the many kinds of anxiety, grief, loss, body image, childhood issues, confidence, depression, disability, eating disorders, family issues, gender identity and gender expression issues, IBS, identity, life transitions such as parenthood, separation, divorce and retirement, OCD, phobias, panic disorder / panic attacks, emotional abuse, addiction, pain management, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), sexual abuse, relationship issues, seasonal affective disorder (SAD), self esteem, self harm, sexual issues, spirituality, stress, suicidal thoughts and trauma as well as the many other things that life can throw at us.
I am also a supervisor (experienced and currently undertaking a formal qualification), please take a look at my profile.
What should I expect from therapy?
We get curious. We talk. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes we move. We try things differently. We edge gently into vulnerable places. I don't judge. It's a safe, confidential space to bring and be yourself.
The aim of my form of therapy is for you to feel heard, held, understood and respected; to empower you with resources and ways to manage life so that you can live, feel and be as you want. Let's talk about how we can work together.
Call 07591 575260 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Facebook Rachel Jane Cooke & P-Therapy
Training, qualifications & experience
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy
Sound and gong therapy
Master's Degree Integrative Therapy
PHTA (Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy Training Academy)
Cruse Bereavement training
Online Counselling training
EFTTA (EFT Training Academy)
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy Level 2
MA Integrative Psychotherapy, University of East London
Higher Diploma in Integrative Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy, PHTA, Regent's College London
HPD (Hypnotherapy Practitioner Diploma)
EFT Level 2
NLP Practitioner, NLP Dynamics
Supervisor Training, CSTD
Counsellor with addictions clinic
Counsellor for mental health charity
Group counsellor at eating disorders clinic
Online counsellor for adolescents and young adults
Private practice since 2009
Own and run a large website for a group of 10 specialised therapists
I have attended workshops on anger management, stress and anxiety, The Daring Way by Brene Brown, couples counselling, self-harm, rebuilding relationships, NLP, therapeutic coaching, treating pain psychologically, alternatives to medication for depression.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Other areas of counselling I deal with
- Millennial Life Crisis
- Intersectionality, social justice issues
- Environmental anxiety
- Political anxiety
- Body positivity and body acceptance
- Self Worth and Self Respect
- Vulnerability and Shame
- Life transitions: Divorce, Parenthood, Retirement etc.
- Social Anxiety/Social Confidence
- Social Media Addiction
- Overeating/Emotional eating
Face to Face and Online (Zoom/Skype/Instant Messaging)
£90 per 50 minute session
£520 per 6 x 50 minute sessions block
£110 per 60 minute session
I hold a small number of sliding scale/low cost places for those who genuinely can't afford the full fee, please enquire.
Concessions offered for
• I really felt terrible about myself before I started seeing Rachel. I only realised during our 6 months together how much critical self talk was going on in my head and how negatively it was impacting every area of my life. Rachel gently and patiently helped me to understand and accept myself, giving me practical exercises to work on between sessions which really helped me feel grounded. I can barely relate to how I used to treat myself and can't recommend Rachel enough. It is like having a new lease of life and I feel calm and confident 95% of the time. When I don't, I know how to take care of myself and get back to my new "normal". Lauren, 35, UK
• Working with Rachel was a complete life changer for me. Her relaxed, supportive and understanding approach enabled me to be honest when speaking with her and helped me to recognise the thought patterns and behaviours which had been inhibiting me in moving forward in my life. Her practical advice and strategies were easily integrated into my life meaning I went from being on the verge of crippling depression to getting the happy and light version of myself back. Working with Rachel has allowed me to make enormous gains in my life and I will continue to use the strategies which I learnt with her. Entirely grateful Rachel - thank you so much! Olivia, 32, NZ
• I honestly thought I was at the end of the line until I stumbled upon Rachel and P-Therapy while Googling depression. It took 3 months for me to start to regain my sense of self, hope and enjoyment in life but I GOT THERE with the help of my wonderful therapist. I'll never forget what she helped me not only to understand, but to believe and embody: "Depression is living in the past, Anxiety is living in the future. Living in the Present is... Living!". Thank you for giving me back my life. Sara, 26, UK
• It's not an overstatement that I was a wreck this time last year. Drugs, alcohol, gambling, you name it I was doing it. I had tried counselling a couple of times but either wasn't ready for it or it just didn't work for me. I sent an email not expecting much and was really surprised by the thoughtful, personal response. I decided to embark on a fairly intense 3 sessions a week and the addictions began to melt away one by one. I still have off days and sometimes slip up but I've gained an understanding of myself and why I do what I do that will be invaluable to me. Gerry, 34, UK
• Online therapy wasn't something I thought would work for me or be effective for anyone, but when my arthritis and fibromyalgia got out of control I simply couldn't have made it outside of my house without breaking down. Despite my skepticism Rachel used hypnosis and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique, check it out!) to massively reduce my pain as well as my reaction to it. I feel much more calm, in control and am able to get out and about like I hadn't in 3 years. Skype therapy really worked for me and I continue to use the techniques Rachel taught me every day. Jess, 52, India
• I spent the afternoon just enjoying the sun on my face, the sounds of the birds and the wonderful smells. Who knew something so simple could make you so happy? Thanks for listening, for understanding, for getting to know me - the light and the dark. It's a new dawn, it's a new day and I'm feeling good. Francis, 67, UK
• I had quite severe bulimia for many years. It wasn't exactly ruining my life but something in the back of my mind always said I needed to get help. As I started to experience more side effects I sought help at P-Therapy. I wasn't very committed in the beginning but the counsellor was really patient, understanding and challenging when it really mattered. I was often avoidant, dismissive, cranky and hormonal but Rachel stuck by me. I feel very differently about how I relate to myself and other people, I also actually now LIKE the person I am! Soon I was able to stop throwing up and bingeing, I can truly say that disordered eating is not a part of my life anymore. Anyone who needs help with an eating disorder should try contacting this site. Jean, 22, Ireland
• Maybe I should be mortified to say that I used to have sexual problems, but I'm not now, not least because they're gone! My counsellor was extremely capable and made me feel both safe and comfortable - something I wasn't used to feeling. We worked on my chronic impotence and sexual fetishes. The therapy was a perfect blend of practical and emotional work which allowed me to move at my own pace and see noticeable progression. Rachel believe it or not I'm in a really good place and a happy, fulfilling relationship now, though I know you won't be surprised, you always believed in me. Thanks again. Jonathan, 42, UK
• Trauma and neglect in my childhood had left me feeling like a hopeless case. I went from one alcoholic partner to another, reaffirming my worthlessness over and over. A recommendation from a good friend led me to P-Therapy and I thank God I picked up the phone when I did. My therapist was so warm and gentle with me, she nurtured me when I needed it most. It's taken time but I'm almost unrecognisable. I have a great job I love, fantastic friends, hobbies and interests that fulfil me and I know love is around the corner. I have now gone on dates with balanced men and made the conscious choice that although they were good people they weren't the one for me. I've found peace with myself. Abigail, 36, UK
• I'm quite embarrassed still to admit I had an addiction - a social media addiction. I spent literally hours and hours a day on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, whatever! Not only was it consuming my time but it was getting in the way of work, friends, my marriage and even sleep. I couldn't find a therapist I liked in my area so turned to the internet... I went for telephone sessions in the end at the suggestion of my therapist. We went for a Mindfulness mixed with CBT approach as they seemed to perfectly suit my needs. I could see an improvement after 2 sessions and continued for another 8. I am happy to say I now use social media for 30 mins or less a day, have taken up new sports and hobbies and my relationship with my wife is flourishing. I may well come back to therapy some day but for now I'm really happy with what I've achieved and how things are going. Richard, 30, Australia
• Something bad happens. I feel anxiety. I use OCD behaviours to feel better. Something bad happens. I feel anxiety. And so on. That's how I thought I would live the rest of my life. My relationship with my beloved began to break down because of my anxiety and OCD and I know I had to sort it out as I didn't want to let this person go. My wonderful psychotherapist spent quite some time helping me to grasp that I needed to want to change for myself for the therapy to really be successful, it took me a few sessions to understand that wanting to change just to keep someone else wasn't the same as me wanting to change for my own good. I began to understand, accept and even LOVE myself, something I'd never have fathomed before. Once that happened I became really committed to my recovery and my therapist gave me loads of resources and work I could do. Probably the best thing I did was keep a journal - I wrote every day about my thoughts, feelings, dreams, desires, as well as the dark side of me that I'd never acknowledged before. It stimulated my creativity and I began painting, writing poems, sculpting, meditating. All of these things really helped my fears and anxiety, once I had a handle on that the OCD all but disappeared. I'm incredibly grateful for what Rachel did, we were a team, a winning team! Federica, 33, UK
• I will make this short and sweet. I want to say a huge "thank you" Rachel for your encouragement and support in the last months. I have found our sessions invaluable and I would recommend anyone having difficulties to contact her. My life is simply better in so many ways and I feel a sense of clarity and hope I didn't think possible. Mohammed, 46, Dubai