What is sexual assault?
Sexual assault is a form of sexual violence that involves intentional sexual touching without consent. Other forms of sexual violence include rape and attempted rape.
It can happen once or repeatedly, and may involve a stranger or someone you know, including a partner or family member. It does not have to involve physical force or leave visible injuries.
Anyone can experience sexual assault, regardless of age or gender, although women are more likely to experience it. Everyone has the right to decide whether they want to take part in sexual activity.
Terms such as sexual assault and sexual abuse can overlap. If you’re unsure how to describe what happened to you, you don’t need to find the right words before seeking support. Whatever words you use, your experience matters, and support is available if and when you feel ready.
Sexual assault and marginalised groups
LGBTQ+ people who experience sexual violence may face additional barriers to reporting their experiences and accessing support. Some may worry about discrimination, not being believed, or how their sexual orientation or gender identity will be treated when seeking help.
Racism and discrimination can create additional barriers to reporting sexual assault and seeking support. For people from ethnic minority backgrounds, concerns about being taken seriously, experiencing racism, or being treated unfairly by services may make it harder to ask for help.
Sexual assault and men
Men can also experience sexual assault, which can have a serious impact on their mental health. Some men may find it difficult to talk about their experiences of sexual assault. This may be due to feelings of humiliation, shame, or being undeserving of support. There are support groups to help male survivors of sexual abuse, including Survivors UK.
If you’re in immediate danger or need emergency medical help, please call 999. If you’ve just been sexually assaulted, remember the blame always lies with the perpetrator and that there’s help available. The Rape Crisis website has step-by-step advice on how to report sexual violence to the police.
What is consent?
Giving consent to sex means that everyone taking part has given their permission and understands what’s involved. A person must also have the freedom and capacity to make that choice.
Consent is not simply the absence of “no”. It must be freely given by someone who has the freedom and capacity to make that choice. Someone also may have said “yes” to one thing, but not another. Consent can be withdrawn by anyone at any stage.
Continuing sexual activity without consent is a sexual offence. Being married to someone or having an intimate relationship with someone is not consent. If someone engages in sexual activity with you without your consent, it isn't your fault, even if you felt unable to say “no” or resist.
In England and Wales, the Sexual Offences Act 2003 also considers whether the person responsible reasonably believed the other person consented. This is assessed in light of the circumstances, including any steps they took to check for consent.
Sexual assault is never the fault of the person who experiences it, regardless of how they were dressed, whether they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or whether they felt unable to say “no” due to shock. Someone may have given their initial consent to sex but decided to stop or changed their mind.
Physiological responses of arousal are involuntary during sexual assault and are in no way a sign of consent.
Supporting someone who has experienced sexual assault
If you’re a friend or family member of someone who has been sexually assaulted, you may find the following ideas helpful when it comes to supporting them:
- Listen with empathy and try not to ask for more details than they’re willing to give you.
- Be mindful of their physical space and boundaries in case they find being touched uncomfortable or unsafe.
- Be patient with the time it takes for the person who has experienced sexual assult to process things.
- Do some online research with Rape Crisis or the NHS to find out practical ways to help them.
- Believe what they’re telling you.
Sexual assault and mental health
Sexual assault can affect your mental health and wellbeing in different ways. Everyone responds differently, but some of the feelings and difficulties you might experience include:
- Shame – You may think it’s your fault, even when it isn’t.
- Numbness – The shock of sexual assault can lead to feeling detached or numb.
- Relationship difficulties – You may find it difficult to form intimate relationships or develop secure attachments.
- Depression – The loss of control and sense of bodily autonomy can create feelings of hopelessness.
- Anxiety – You may be concerned that an attack can happen again, feeling anxious about going out on your own.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) – The trauma may remain ‘alive’ in your thoughts, causing you to have flashbacks or nightmares.
Sexual assault can also have physical health consequences such as pain, injuries, sexual dysfunction, and sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Counselling and sexual assault
Experiencing sexual assault can be incredibly difficult, and it’s natural to need time and support to make sense of what happened. Speaking with a qualified counsellor can be a helpful way to express and work through your feelings.
It can be an unsettling thought to talk to someone, especially if you’ve never opened up about the experience before, but a counsellor should respect your boundaries, work at a pace that feels manageable, and provide a non-judgemental space. You don't have to discuss every detail of what happened. Counselling can also help you develop ways to cope with difficult emotions.
Sexual violence doesn’t need to have happened recently for you to seek out help. You can talk things through with a counsellor even if it happened a long time ago. Talking about the ongoing effects of sexual assault can help you process past feelings and move into a place where you can cope with day-to-day life more easily.
Different types of therapy may help people cope with the effects of sexual assault. For those experiencing PTSD, recommended support and treatment include trauma-focused cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR).
Seeking support after sexual assault is a personal decision, and there’s no right time to start. If you feel ready, counselling can offer a safe, supportive space to explore your feelings and experiences at your own pace. You can search for a qualified counsellor who has experience supporting people affected by sexual assault.
Further help
- Rape Crisis
- The Survivors Trust
- Galop (support for LGBTQ+ people)
- NHS
- Sexual health clinics
