Working therapeutically with mums at risk of social removal

As more and more families are impacted by the cost of living crisis it is important to recognise how poverty can impact mental health and in turn, parenting can be impacted. 

It's well documented that social care teams are at capacity and social workers are struggling with their case loads. Leaving many mums not getting the support that require when facing the threat of social removal. I can't imagine what it is like having such a threat hanging over you, and not knowing where to go for support. The support that is offered to mums often relies on the third sector which since covid many charities are overstretched and some have unfortunately had to stop delivering services. Leaving more mums facing the social care process feeling frightened and alone. 

There is such negative stigma that faces mums who have social care involved in their parenting and this prevents many mums from reaching out due to the fear of judgement and unwanted opinions. 

I am a strong believer that no mum sets out to be a 'bad' parent - it’s the situations that many find themselves in due to other external issues. Such as abusive relationships, lack of support with mental health, and general lack of support from family and friends. Research shows that care leavers are more likely to have social care with their own children; to me, this says that there is something clearly wrong with our system. Young people are not getting the correct support that they need to develop into resistant adults. Many still entering parenthood with unresolved childhood trauma, feeling disconnected and misunderstood by the world. 

As counsellors that is where the safe spaces that we can provide really can make a difference, offering a space without fear of judgement, without fear of consequences and without fear of what they say being reported in as part of a multi-agency meeting. 

The legal framework that underpins child removal is complicated and as you can imagine littered with legal jargon and acronyms. Should you want to specialise in supporting mums in this area, I would recommend that you have a basic understanding of the process to help with your own sense of what takes place at such a traumatic time for individuals. 

I would also recommend that you clearly explain to your client what counselling is and what it isn't. It is likely that they will have many agencies involved in their life, including health services, probation, and family support to name but a few. A counselling relationship at first may be a very daunting experience. It is important they understand the boundaries and confidentiality that such a special relationship can offer. 

I have specialised in this area of work for many years and the main presenting issues have been:

• Loss/ grief. It is possible that there may be previous children that have been permanently removed from their care and are now adopted. Many mums may not have had the opportunity to process this loss or had the safe space to have their loss validated.
• Adverse child experiences (ACEs). As previously mentioned many will bring adverse childhood experiences to the counselling room. And for many, this will be the first time they have had the space to explore their trauma and how it is impacting them now.
• Attachment. Due to the above, attachments are likely to be difficult to form for many- unable to trust and unable to allow themselves to be loved/ cared for by others. For some, they may find themselves attached to people that are not positive for their mental health. As we know attachment styles can impact the counselling relationship and it is important to recognise the complicated attachment many mums may have developed over the years, particularly if mum was a careleaver herself. 

It’s a sad situation that mums are facing social removal with all of the above unresolved- facing more trauma, more loss and more complicated attachments with family members. 

It is important to point that that parents who face the prospect of social removal are entitled to legal representation; unbelievably this isn't always mentioned by social workers so it may be worth mentioning and indeed building your relationships with local solicitors so that they are aware of your services. 

Counselling can make a difference in so many different ways to mums who face social removal and you could be that difference. You can find out more about our charity and the support available.