Why go to couples therapy?

As you're most likely aware, relationships aren't always an easy road to be on. Much like a vehicle, they require maintenance on a regular basis to keep going. If there is a problem, you need to get it seen to or it may cause more problems further down the line.


More often than not, problems can get sorted by the individuals within the relationship. Other times - for example, if it's a recurring argument that you find is always unresolved - it might be worth visiting your local couples counsellor to help you smooth out the concerns. The ultimate goal is for the counsellor to help you to build a healthier, trusting relationship.

What is couples counselling?

Couples counselling is a form of talking therapy that will help you gain an insight into your relationship, resolve any conflicts and improve satisfaction within the relationship.

The sessions will tend to include:

  1. A focus on a specific concern or problem in the relationship.
  2. Whether individuals come in or whether you come in as a couple, the counsellor will listen and participate in treating the relationship.
  3. The counsellor will look to find the right treatment objectives for your relationship.

What can you expect from a couples therapy session?

Are you questioning if couples therapy is right for your relationship based on not knowing what to expect? Well, typically the first session will involve some interview type questions where you will be asked about the relationship history, family history, your personal history and your counsellor will listen to the concerns you'd like to bring up about the relationship.

Once the first initial questions are asked, the counsellor will help you to identify the issues within the relationship and this will be the focus of treatment. Establishing treatment goals and planning a structure for treatment for each counselling session.

During the treatment process, your counsellor will help you to find the root cause of the issues and gain an insight into what is creating the problem, then guide both partners to understand their roles in the dysfunctional interactions.

The greater the insight that is given into the relationship, the less stress there will be on the relationship when you come from a session, and it may also change the way you perceive the relationship.

Although gaining insight is important, you will also be taught how to change your behaviours to help eliminate the concerns. You will most likely be given homework to work on whilst you're away from a session. Many couples will come away from their sessions with greater knowledge of the relationship patterns and the skills to help communicate with one another.

Who should be considering couples counselling?

Couples counselling can be beneficial for any type of couple, no matter the age gap, sexual preference, whether you're married or fresh into the relationship.

For example, a newly engaged couple could find pre-marital couples counselling helpful in figuring out the expectations of each individual prior to getting married. Whereas, a couple that has been together for 25 years might discover marriage counselling as an effective way for them to regain a sense of excitement and/or romance in their relationship.

Couples counselling can help to resolve current problems, issues that may have come in the future or simply provide a 'check up' type of counselling for happy couples who just want to stay that way!

Why do couples delay going for couples counselling?

Unfortunately, couples often only resort to counselling when something largely significant has happened and the damage has been done, meaning the emotional bond between the individuals has been severely weakened.

Some research has found that couples remain unhappy for up to six years before they actually reach out for help! Misconceptions about what couples therapy is can also prevent many couples from seeking help early on. Some might think couples therapy is only meant for very serious issues affecting a relationship, for example, infidelity or addiction. Other couples might view it as a last option before making the decision to end the relationship.

How do you get started?

I offer a couples counselling package which lasts for three months, at the cost of £595. This package will ensure we get to the root of the issues within the relationship and find the best treatment for you as a couple. To get started and book a session with me, use the 'contact me' page and fill out the contact form.

Together we'll explore together how we can resolve conflicts and strengthen your bond.

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Leigh-on-Sea SS9 & Southend-On-sea SS0
Written by Yvette White, Anxiety /Depression specialist* Supervisor. Couples therapy.
Leigh-on-Sea SS9 & Southend-On-sea SS0

Hi my name is Yvette from Discovering You. I am fully qualified Counsellor Member of the BACP, EFT practitioner registered with the AAMET and Life Coach.I can assist you with a range of issues, problems and difficulties that you may be experiencing in your life such as Anxiety, Abuse, Loss, Divorce, Depression, Career path, Cancer support, Pain.

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