Recognising a toxic relationship and how to move forwards

Relationships fall into one of two categories: Positive or unhealthy.

Positive relationships are based on mutual respect and trust, with both partners showing empathy and compassion for each other. These relationships foster a safe environment where both partners can be open about their feelings and needs, allowing them to build strong emotional bonds. In addition, the couple works together to resolve conflicts in a positive manner while also engaging in activities that they both enjoy. 

Unhealthy relationships often involve one partner taking control or dominating the other partner in some way. This partner may use verbal or emotional abuse in an attempt to maintain power over their relationship and keep the other partner feeling powerless or helpless. The couple may have frequent fights, with neither partner listening to the other’s point of view or compromising when necessary.

When it comes to relationships, many people don’t realize they are in a toxic one until it’s too late. Signs of a toxic relationship don’t always appear right away, as they can be subtle and easily overlooked. In some cases, the person is so charismatic that they can seem almost perfect at first. 

Unfortunately, this charm is often only surface-deep and behind closed doors, their true nature begins to show. They may become controlling or manipulative, showing little regard for their partner's boundaries or opinions. They may also become overly critical and negative, trying to make their partner feel inadequate in an effort to boost their own fragile ego. 

It is important to recognize these warning signs early on before the situation becomes more damaging -- not just for your well-being but for the relationship itself.

Relationships of all kinds can be complicated and hard to navigate. For some, unhealthy relationships with partners, friends, or family members may not appear obvious until months or even years down the road. These toxic relationships can have physical, emotional and psychological effects on an individual that are difficult to break away from. 

Typical signs of these damaging relationships include verbal abuse such as name-calling or insults, control over decisions regarding career path or lifestyle choices, bullying behaviours such as intimidating language tactics, consistent criticism of your appearance or self-worth and jealousy between partners. It is important for individuals to be aware of these signs in order to protect their own well-being. It is also essential to recognize the differences between healthy disagreements and arguments that indicate a need for change in the relationship dynamic.

Typical signs of abusive behaviour

Isolation is a toxic pattern of behaviour that toxic people use to manipulate their partners. It involves attempting to separate a person from family and friends in order to limit the support they can receive and increase dependence on the relationship. This is an abusive technique used to weaken an individual’s sense of self-worth and agency, leaving them feeling helpless and alone. 

The first step in isolating someone is usually through cutting off communication with those around them. Toxic individuals may do this by criticizing their partner’s loved ones or actively discouraging them from spending time together. They might also try to control who they spend time with, what activities they participate in, or where they go out of town. By removing external sources of comfort, it makes it easier for the abuser to exert power over their partner and maintain control over their life.

Disagreements and arguments are an inevitable part of relationships, whether it be between family members, friends, or couples. While minor disagreements are normal and can even have a positive effect on relationships by providing an opportunity for deeper understanding and resolution, ongoing disagreements can be detrimental to the health of any relationship. Toxic relationships often involve frequent and intense arguing that causes harm to one or both parties involved. It is important to recognize when the frequency and intensity of arguments become too much. A healthy relationship should provide support and comfort rather than anxiety or fear.

Jealousy and dishonesty can be toxic in a relationship. When one partner is accused of flirting, dating, or having a sexual relationship with someone else, it can cause serious emotional damage to both parties. Insecurity and fear are at the root of this kind of jealous behaviour; however, dishonesty compounds the problem even further. It can manifest as an unwillingness to communicate honestly about feelings or activities that may invoke jealousy in the other person. This kind of dishonesty only serves to make matters worse by creating mistrust and hurting any chance for true intimacy between partners. 

When faced with toxic people in our lives, many of us experience a cycle of denial and gaslighting. Toxic individuals are usually unable or unwilling to recognize the impact they have on others around them. They may deny that issues exist or attempt to manipulate the facts so that their behaviour appears normal or acceptable. 

Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse which causes a person to question their own beliefs, emotions, and experiences. This type of manipulation can be subtle or overt and is often used by narcissists as a way to maintain control over another person. The goal of gaslighting is to make someone feel like they’re going crazy, second-guess themselves, and become increasingly dependent on the abuser for validation and direction. 

The combination of denial and gaslighting are two key tactics used by toxic people in order to avoid accountability for their actions.

When it comes to negative things and events in a relationship, blaming a toxic person has no sense of personal responsibility. People who are toxic can easily point the finger at someone else as the cause for problems or any issues that arise, instead of looking inward and taking accountability for their own actions. This type of behaviour creates an unhealthy dynamic in relationships and can be damaging if not confronted quickly. 

If your partner is willing to take ownership of their negative behaviours, then there is hope to create a healthier relationship dynamic. It's important to communicate openly with your partner about how they are affecting you and give them space to understand why their behaviours are harmful. This will allow them time to think through exactly what they need to do differently so they can become more self-aware and eventually break out of the cycle of toxicity.

Recovering from a toxic relationship

It is possible to make it out of a toxic relationship and move on in life to find a positive, supportive and healthy one. It takes time, effort and courage for individuals to take control of their lives and break free from a situation that does not bring out the best in them. However, with the right support, resources and mindset it can be done. 

The first step is understanding that you deserve better than what you have been getting in your toxic relationship. Once you reach this realization, focus on taking small steps towards creating an environment where you feel safe and respected by those around you. Put yourself first over any other person or thing in order to begin healing from the pain caused by the toxicity in your life. 

Begin forming positive relationships with those who show genuine care towards your well-being such as friends or family members who want what’s best for you.

We all know that relationships can be difficult, and sometimes it’s a partner’s toxicity that causes the most strain. But it doesn't have to be this way — if both partners are willing to work together, it is possible for a toxic relationship to turn into an enviable one. 

Though making changes in a relationship can seem daunting, they don't have to be major overnight shifts. It's more important that both partners understand each other's needs and feelings and strive to meet them as best they can. A little effort every day goes a long way towards building trust, communication, and understanding — all of which help create a healthy and fulfilling partnership. 

It is essential that those wanting change commit to doing the necessary work; after all, when we put our energy into something good it tends to come back ten-fold!