Healing From Trauma
"Sometimes I'm okay. I am able to get things done, am productive and sociable. But when I rest, it's agony."
The urge to overwork and keep busy can be a coping mechanism to avoid negative thoughts and feelings. These negative thoughts may be the residue left over from past unresolved childhood experience and trauma. Aside from the energy expelled in the pursuit of distraction, holding onto these unprocessed thoughts and feelings can be exhausting.
What gets broken with trauma is the basic, fundamental awareness that we are safe, loved and cared for. Gone is the notion that we are okay in the world and that the world is okay with us. Our sense of self becomes fragile and fragmented.
Trauma, if left without attempt at repair, can get stuck in the body and can surface in unconscious behaviours and confusing ways. Anxiety, fear, disproportionate anger and disconnection from here-and-now reality can occur causing dysregulation and a rupture of equilibrium even when we move on to a more lovingly supportive, secure holding environment.
Healing trauma is hard. It takes persistence in care, understanding, compassion and consistency from those around us. In order to support our own healing and help repair the broken trust we must accept the feelings around what was rather than try to hide from them through distraction, addiction or other behaviours that conflict with our own self care. This, in turn, will gradually allow for an opening up to the possibility for new and different experiences. It will take time, patience and a true desire for change. We have to believe we are worth more and deserve better. If we can do that, the result could well be life changing.