Adverse childhood events (ACEs)

Adverse childhood events (ACEs) are a collection of aspects of the child’s environment that can undermine their sense of safety, stability, and bonding, such as growing up in a household with violence, a family member dying by suicide, experiencing neglect, homelessness, a parent with addiction, mental health problems or a separation from a parent such as prison.

There are other factors and the more the child experiences the more likely they are to struggle with accessing the same opportunities as others, or of those living without mental health or relational issues. Approximately 47% of adults in England have one ACE. 

ACEs affect the quality of your attachment relationship with your primary carer/parent as a child. Attachment relationships form a template for relating to others and how we perceive ourselves. Different attachment styles influence our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships and are based on feelings of safety and security. Threats of loss or actual loss, emotional absence or neglect or abuse can all create attachments which affect us negatively.

So, if you recognise yourself as having experienced ACEs which might affect you negatively, what might you do about this? You can do things which help you at home such as journaling to understand yourself and noticing patterns and behaviours. You can explore ways of building resilience using things like active mindfulness in activities such as yoga.

Building a good support system and finding people you can trust to talk to can help you through difficult times. This could be a support group or friends or family. You might want to find ways of regulating your nervous system such as hobbies or being outdoors – things or places which help you soothe or calm.

EMDR therapy is another way of addressing ACEs. Attachment-informed EMDR uses situations in the present which cause you difficulty to “float” back and connect with the childhood experiences feeling the same. In working through the original events we disrupt the working memory of the trauma and create new adaptations to the feelings, images, body sensations and thoughts. EMDR uses tapping, tones, buzzers or eye movements to reprocess the trauma. It is different from talking therapy and is structured with checks on how different aspects of trauma impact you.

EMDR helps you find new perspectives on the things you experienced and equips you with resources to cope with intense feelings. EMDR begins with sessions to talk through your history, to prepare you for reprocessing and to identify things which help you and the stuff which is impacting you now. You identify with your therapist the things which you want to work on and when you are ready, you begin the reprocessing. Using past, present and future prongs, EMDR helps you address what has happened, the impact on the present and anticipated feelings about the future.

EMDR can be safely practised online or in person with an accredited practitioner, who has taken additional training and experience. See the EMDR Association UK for an accredited practitioner near you or search on Counselling Directory.