Martin Stokley

"Empathy has no script. There is no right way or wrong way to do it. It's simply listening, holding space, withholding judgement, emotionally connecting, and communicating that incredibly healing message: 'You're not alone'" (Brene Brown)

Thank you for taking the time to explore my profile. 

How I work

As an experienced counsellor and counselling lecturer I seek to provide a confidential, supportive, non-judgmental counselling relationship and environment. I believe that it is important to give you time and space to explore, understand and gain insight into what is causing your pain, distress or dissatisfaction. Then together we can find new ways of responding and helping you to lead a more fulfilling life.

Many people come to counselling feeling emotionally overwhelmed. You may feel unseen or unheard in your relationships with others, you may feel an incongruence between who you really are and who you'd like to be. You may have experienced painful traumas, difficult relationships with others, inner conflicts or significant losses which have led to feelings of sadness, anxiety, despair, depression, loss, anger, frustration, shame and guilt (amongst many). I believe that healing this pain requires a relationship in which you can begin to bring these things into conscious awareness and allow yourself to experience and process them in a healthy way.

So much in our lives can seem out of control and it is important to me that you feel able to choose the way we work together at your own pace and in a way that respects your autonomy. I will help you to explore difficult thoughts or emotions. There is no emotion, thought or part of you which is unacceptable in the process, everything can be an opportunity to offer yourself compassion and bring understanding. I will offer non-judgemental support whilst also challenging you to reflect on different perspectives and ways of being which are congruent with you. As we bring into awareness those things you may have been avoiding you can begin to make choices about how to respond and create meaningful changes in your life. 

I believe the the quality of the relationship we forge together is fundamental to the process of counselling. It is important to me that we co-create a therapeutic relationship that is an empathic and compassionate space where you can begin to work through what is causing your pain.

I am committed to building a safe relationship where the expression of your emotion feels contained and held so that you are not threatened with feelings of overwhelm. For this to happen I seek to build trust in offering a service which is welcoming to all backgrounds in an affirming and non-discriminatory manner.

I offer integrative counselling which combines concepts from the psychodynamic, person-centred, cognitive behavioural therapy, transactional analysis and gestalt counselling models.

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to contact me to explore if I am the right counsellor for you.

Services Offered

• Face to face counselling from my therapy room in River, Dover
• Online counselling via Zoom (UK clients only)
• Telephone counselling (UK clients only)
• Walk and Talk therapy

I offer a free 50 minute introductory session as I don’t believe you should have to pay to find out if I am the right counsellor for you. During this introductory session we will explore why you have come for counselling and if we are the best fit for each other.