Jo Yates(x-Relate CoupleCounsellor, Sex Thpist, Mediator BA hons(C) Dip.PST
01482 640634 / 07776201880
Welcome! I am a warm, caring and 'fully qualified' ex-Relate Couples Counsellor with 24 yrs experience. My specialism is RELATIONSHIPS - COUPLES/SINGLES/FAMILY/CHILDREN. I am also a SEX Therapist and Accredited FAMILY MEDIATOR, offering a flexible ‘No Waiting’ policy. My service is professional and confidential in a private setting - I derive great joy seeing people become happy again.
Hessle, East Yorkshire, HU13 0HA (within 4 miles of Hull city centre)
I have gained a considerable amount of valuable experience through working as a Family Mediator as well as Counsellor. I have worked with all aspects and complexities of relationships from preparation for co-habitation or a baby to reconciliation or divorce and because of this I feel that I have been privileged in seeing relationships in an holistic way - 'The whole picture' thus giving me valuable insight which helps me to help you.
Affairs, relationship breakdown,depression, anger, stress, anxiety, drinking, eating disorders etc can be symptoms of an underlying problem such as sexual issues, past issues, work issues etc which is not being dealt with. These symptoms are often a 'flag' used to draw attention to a problem. A way of saying HELP!
Sometimes people think that they want to divorce when in actual fact they have other issues which are too difficult to deal with so they focus on something which they can control, like divorce.
Things are not always as they seem - affairs for instance, need NOT mean the end, indeed, for some couples it is the beginning of a much deeper and more healthy relationship.
SERVICES I AM 'QUALIFIED' TO OFFER.
- COUPLES, SINGLES, CHILDREN and FAMILY COUNSELLING
- FAMILY AND WORK-PLACE MEDIATION
- SUPERVISION FOR COUNSELLORS OR MEDIATORS AND TRAINEES
- PRIVATE TUTORING FOR STUDENT COUNSELLORS OR MEDIATORS
Wanting to speak to someone urgently?
Fed up of being told you are on a waiting list? Sometimes a double waiting list.
Don’t want to wait for appointment?
Need some support or guidance?
Relationship in trouble?
Shocking news of an affair?
Traumatised through eg Rape, act of Anger, accident, shocking news etc
Feeling panicky, afraid, confused, angry, sad, devastated, worried, shocked, depressed, lost, lonely or just uneasy?
You are gay and afraid you will not be accepted or listened to.
Want to divorce but cannot afford solicitor's costs?
Cannot sort out contact or residence for the children?
My staff need mediation - sick pay is costing ££££
Cannot find a supervisor?
Want help to pass my counselling assignments?
Cannot find a tutor to run a course?
Then you have come to the right place!
COUPLE AND SINGLES COUNSELLING
Some issues I work with:
- Preparation for: Pre-co-habitation, pre-marital, pre-natal or pre-divorce.
- Life skills
- Sexual problems - for couples or singles
- Rape or Sexual abuse (past or present) - is it affecting your relationship
- Anger issues/management
- Physical abuse (past or present) - it could be affecting your relationship
- Affairs - they do not just happen, there is usually a reason
- Keeping your relationship going- you do have to work at it
- Trying to keep everyone happy
- Should I go or should I stay?
- Will I cause damage to the kids?
- General guidance
- Parental guidance
- Divorce / Separation guidance
- Want to talk something through for clarity or make important decisions.
- Want help and guidance to decide the next move
- Explore past or current issues, or future events
- Need to resolve difference with someone - family member not getting on with another etc?
- Think your ‘going mad’ or maybe your partner has said that you are
- Not sure if you are still ‘in love’
- Feel stuck or trapped
- Don't know how to break the news - particularly to children.
- He/She doesn't want sex
- 'He is only nice when he wants sex'
- We repeat the same old patterns
- Is change possible and will it last?
- Self esteem gone.
- Don't want to repeat habits or patterns
So, who am I and what do I have to offer you?
I am a mature, very caring and empathic person who gets a lot of value from helping my clients develop and find happiness. As a human being I have experienced ‘life’ and some of its frailties; I know what being counselled feels like and of how important that relationship is between you; how scary your first crucial appointment can be and what the repercussions can be to have to wait ‘too long’ to be seen. Conversely, I know what it feels like to become ‘whole’ again and find happiness. It was at this stage, 22 years ago, that I decided that I wanted to become a counsellor and do for others as someone had done for me. My whole career has since been devoted to working with and studying relationships within the caring profession.
Relationship counselling can involve other issues such as loss, rejection, betrayal, domestic abuse, affairs, choice, change, trauma, other family members – the list is endless. In counselling, skills are learned and in particular communication, which is the biggest perpetrator of relationship breakdown. It is surprising what actually surfaces and how much you learn about yourself and each other once you have decided to take that first step towards recovery……….. The worst bit is making that first approach and therefore, I hope that some of the following will give you some guidance about your choices.
Because you visited this site, it is highly likely that you are looking for help, guidance and support - AND quickly; it may be something which you feel is relatively minor or it may be something very distressing which could prevent you from thinking properly. A possible consequence might mean that it is difficult to make a decision, even about which therapist to choose and, it is very important that you do choose the right person because this is the person who has to be entrusted with some of the most delicate areas in your life. It is imperative for you to feel trust, respect and have confidence in your therapist - this will make a difference to your recovery.
What you will NOT want, I guess, is to have to wait for an appointment or to be put on a double list.
So, how do you choose the right person for you?
Diploma is the minimum qualification for 1 – 1 Counselling or Psychosexual Therapy; Couple Counsellors have to have a different qualification of equal value. Family Mediators have to be properly qualified - A short course in Mediation is NOT a Qualification which usually takes between 2-3 yrs.
Instinct is always a good indicator but to satisfy yourself explore before choosing your therapist by checking some things out:
Here are some of my answers to questions I might expect clients to ask.
- All my original qualifications are on display in my room
- My insurance is with PPC and current
- I have worked in excess of ten thousand practice hours
- I have been working for 22 uninterrupted years with the exception of the occasional week or two holiday.
- My specialism’s are: One to One Counselling, Couple Counselling, Psychosexual Therapy, Sexual Abuse/Rape, Anger Management, Family and Workplace Mediation, Children Counselling. Additional Professional Development training. Supervision for trainee and qualified counsellors. Private tuition for student counsellors.
- My specialist subjects are anything to do with relationships from pre-co-habitation/pre-natal guidance and counselling; reconciliation; divorce and financial settlement. Sexual and Domestic Abuse.
- My fees are: All Counselling and Supervision fees is £40 per hour - First session will be between 1 and 1 ½ hours.
- Divorce Mediation fees are charged at £60 per person per hour plus MOU fee.
Signs you have relationship problems
- communication breaks down
- sex has ended or causes problems
- arguments continue without resolution
- violence erupts
- depression or other health problems recur
- the bond of trust is eroded or broken.
It is normal for relationships to suffer as the pressure and strains of everyday life mount. Love may disappear, replaced by resentment and anger. Each partner can view this differently depending on their own experience of family life. One may despair, while the other may view it as a temporary blip.
Where a couple has attached hastily - in response to a passion, pregnancy or other need, disappointments can surface and fester when the excitement subsides. Renegotiating, with a skilled counsellor, can help build a more realistic and deeper relationship.
FAMILY MEDIATION / Divorce or Separtion
'The Government has made it compulsory from April 6th 2011 for couples to consider mediation before issuing court proceedings to deal with money, property or children.'
I am one of the few original non-solicitor family mediators who worked for the charity 'Hull Family Mediation Service' for 24 years. I now run a private practice and compete very strongly with the court's 'adversarial' system.
WHY USE JO YATES-EASTERBROOK - (A NON-SOLICITOR MEDIATOR )?
- I am one of Hulls most experienced mediators.
- I offer out of hours appointments.
- No waiting for appointments.
- My charges are a fraction of the cost of solicitors.
- I am also a qualified and experienced relationship counsellor so you will be treated with care and empathy.
- I work towards a Less acrimonious approach.
- My process is much quicker.
- If you want to take control of your own situations.
- The environment I use is friendly and private.
- I do not charge for letters and telephone calls.
- Free car parking
AREAS OF FAMILY MEDIATION:
- Your children – Contact or Residence
- Divorce and Separation
DO I HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO GET A FINANCIAL SETTLEMENT OR CHILD CONTACT OR RESIDENCE ISSUES?
Anyone can have mediation for child related issues. However, if you want to mediate for financial issues, officially you can only mediate for the property, but, that doesn’t stop you from talking about other financial issues.
WHEN AM I ENTITLED TO A DIVORCE?
Currently you are not able to apply for a divorce until you have been married for at least one year; even then you cannot obtain one automatically.
You will need to have sufficient grounds for divorce.
Your marriage will have had to have broken down irretrievably as a result of at least on of the following:
The adultery will need to be admitted or you will have to prove it. If you have committed adultery and want a divorce you can ask your husband/wife to divorce you.
- UNREASONABLE BEHAVIOUR
Everyone has different ideas about what is unreasonable and in the end it will be up to the divorce court to decide whether the behaviour you allege is unreasonable enough for you to be granted a divorce.
TWO YEAR SEPARATION
To obtain a divorce after two years separation both parties have to consent to the divorce. This means you both have to agree the marriage has broken down and that you want a divorce.
Desertion requires an intention to stop living together and actually ceasing to live together against the wishes of your wife/husband for a period of at lease two years.
FIVE YEAR SEPARATION
A divorce can usually be obtained after five years of separation without the consent of your spouse.
WHAT IF I DON’T WANT A DIVORCE?
You could consider entering into a separation agreement to deal with your finances and then divorce later.
WHAT IF WE WANT TO SORT THE FINANCES OUT OURSELVES, WITHOUT A LEGAL DOCUMENT?
You can do this but years later your ex can still make a financial claim against you or your new spouse, despite the fact that you may have previously already shared your assets.
IS GETTING A DIVORCE EXPENSIVE?
The courts will charge £300 for a divorce and £40 for a Decree Absolute. In addition the court will charge £40 to present a Consent Order (Legal Document). This is a financial statement of a settlement. A solicitor usually will write this document ready for presentation at the court.
I charge £60 per person per hour and if a full Memorandum of Understanding and a Full Financial Statement is needed a charge of £120 will be made. Any other final statement will be charge pro-rata to the MOU.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET A DIVORCE?
Remember it is NOT a good idea to ‘rush’ into divorce. Many people make mistakes because they act on impulse and anger. People, too, will often make mistakes regarding their settlements if they act too quickly.
If there are no major problems, getting a divorce should take approximately four to six months, even earlier in some cases depending on the court and whether they are busy or not. Remember if you do start divorce proceedings you can still change your mind right up until the Decree Absolute is due.
WHAT IF I GET UPSET DURING THE MEDIATION?
Chances that you may get upset are strong. This is probable one of the most traumatic times in your life and if is normal to express your feelings.
As a mediator and counsellor I deal with emotions on a day to day basis and will use all the skills to help you to get ‘through it’.
WHEN WOULD MEDIATION NOT WORK?
- If it is too soon after your separation.
- If there has been any protection order placed.
- If there has been any violence or if you are afraid / feel intimidated by your ex.
- If there is a real power imbalance where you will feel manipulated by your ex.
- If either of you are not willing to negotiate your own outcome.
Training, qualifications & experience
University of Lincolnshire and Humberside 1995 Diploma in Counselling
University of Lincolnshire and Humberside 1996 BA (Hons) (Counselling). 2/1.
University of Huddersfield 1999 PGCE (Adult Education)
Herbert Grey College, Rugby 1996 Certificate CCMC (Relate)
National Family Mediation 1998 Certificate in Mediation
National Family Mediation 1998 Accreditation as Mediator
National Family Mediation 1998 Certificate in Supervision
Legal Aid Board 1998 Competent Assessment in Legal Aid Mediation
National Family Mediation 2000 Full Mediation Accreditation
Herbert Grey College, Rugby 2001 Diploma in Psychosexual Therapy (CBT/Psychodynamic
Professional Experience: Counsellor in Private Practice and with Relate
Twenty three years work as an Integrated Couples and 1-to-1 Counsellor; ten years as a Psychosexual Therapist; thirteen years as a Children’s Counsellor/Mediator.
I was trained in many different theories including: Person-Centred, Family Systems, Solution Focussed, Couples, Psychodynamic, CBT & T.A. and use which ever is appropriate at the time.
In my private practice I have various contracts with: Chanel 4 TV; Private companies, Hull City Council, G.P’s, schools and private individuals. I have worked In excess of ten thousand practice hours.
· Family Mediator
Twenty three continuous years, mediating families in conflict, with Hull and District Family Mediation Service;
eight years mediating with DSS, SEN/LEA in schools and workplace mediation.
· Professional Practice Consultant (Supervisor)
Twelve years work as a Professional Practice Consultant (Supervisor) for the Hull and District Mediation Service. In private practice I am a clinical supervisor for practicing and trainee counsellors. I train mediators to become qualified.
Further and Community Education Lecturer/Tutor
Nine year’s experience in community education outreaches, teaching various counselling and social skills courses, to adults.
Nine year’s experience teaching basic level to up to Counselling Degree courses.
I have worked for seven years at HM Prison Everthorpe, teaching social, life and basic skills.
Areas of counselling I deal with
- Affairs and betrayals
- Anger management
- Anorexia nervosa
- Binge-eating disorder
- Bulimia nervosa
- Child related issues
- Domestic violence
- Eating disorders
- Emotional abuse
- Generalised anxiety disorder
- Low self-confidence
- Low self-esteem
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Panic disorder
- Physical abuse
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Other areas of counselling I deal with
Relationship of all kinds.
Family Mediation - save, possibly thousands of pounds on solicitor's fees. Resolve contact issues for the children and their parents.
Workplace Mediation - save a lot of heartache, money and prevent absences. Simple and quick resolution. 99% of my cases have been successful.
As an ex-lecturer in Counselling I offer private Tuition - Reduced fees for students
- Behavioural therapy
- Cognitive and behavioural therapies
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- Cognitive therapy
- Couples counselling
- Family/systemic therapy
- Humanistic therapies
- Person-centred therapy
- Psychoanalytical and psychodynamic
- My fees are:
- Singles Counselling and Supervision fees are £45 per hour and £50 pr couple. First session will be between 1 and 1 ½ hours. If 6 sessions are paid for in advance there will be a reduction of £12
- Family Mediation fees are charged £60 per hour for child only issues. For All Issues mediation eg: Children, Finance, and House the fees will be £60 per person per hour plus a fee for Memorandum of Understanding. No fee for telephone calls or letters. *If you choose to include the actual DIVORCE the 'court administration charge will be approx £380 on top of my charges. PLEASE NOTE THAT SOLICITOR MEDIATION SERVICES MAY CHARGE AT LEAST DOUBLE THIS PRICE.
- Work place mediation is £60 per hour.
- Private tuition for student counsellors is £25 - for non-earners there will be a reduction.
I take referrals from Individuals, The National Health, The Law Court, GP’s, Private Companies, The Council: Chanel 4 TV.
I have counselled - VIP's, film stars, and other well knows celebrities.
I am the author of:
- How Divorce and Separation my affect your Children. (1998)
Due for publication is:
- Symptoms and effects of Affairs
- The S****t of Sexual Abuse
- A guide for men about women
Maps & Directions
Type of session
|Face to face counselling:||Yes|
Morning, afternoon and evenings. Appointments are flexible to suite clients
Supervision & training
I qualified with a a model which covers counselling and mediation - 3 componants are:.View supervision profile