Trust is the former of friendships and all relationships. Without it, true connection is halted. When trust is established, a potential to grow in closeness to another human being unfolds into a solid bond together.


One of the first experiences of trusting another comes from our blood family. The warmth we feel can be felt when we can rely on the support available. Not a second thought - we know.

If trust is lost or not gained in the first place, then there is no belief in support when sought. So, the need is unmet by the disillusionment encountered.

So, how can we trust? We risk, we overcome fear, we tread sometimes in murky waters, and we show courage. On occasion, we create space by walking away. Most of all, having hope and faith to journey to a place where trust is made. 

In some romantic relationships, we can build and build and build but to no avail, as a deep hurt evokes from a betrayal of trust. It’s a wound that, in its entirety, can rip through and destroy a partnership.

If you have experienced a break of trust, it can infiltrate into other areas of life.

People, in general, can suffer off the back of one unleashed mark from one single broken relationship. A sense of uncertainty in others is a consequence of the pain felt.

Recovering, we enlist in many surface friendships/relationships. Our past haunting the new relationships/friendships we truly desire. Behaviorally, we could adopt scarper tactics. For example, reject others before we are rejected. Ever found yourself doing that?

So, how do we trust again?

Courage, perseverance and strength. The hurt we felt heals. New horizons become part of our pathway. Light begins to shine. We move forward with grace. Resilience is greater and the gamble to overcome the fear of hurt is set upon by sheer grit to fulfill our inner need to connect. We learn to love and have deep meaningful experiences with others again.

So, a full circle has been made:

  • trust
  • trust is broken
  • pain
  • heal
  • courage
  • risk
  • the return of trust
  • a new depth found within relationships

Trust in counselling

In the therapeutic relationship, trust is one of the cornerstones of relational therapy. It influences how change can be facilitated. It takes time to build and a focus on this by the therapist but it is paramount in helping a client gain movement, thus providing a shift in therapy.

As an observer in a therapy session, trust can be detected by the level of honesty the client is disclosing. If a client shares something for the first time in their life, then not only is this a powerful disclosure, it is also an indication of trust being present within the therapy room; especially towards the therapist. As a therapist, I find this type of disclosure an honour and a privilege.

The first thing in life we trust is someone will look after us, to feed us and provide shelter. It’s that very belief that proves trust is a necessity, not just in childhood but also in our future. It is a symbol of growth. 

The views expressed in this article are those of the author. All articles published on Counselling Directory are reviewed by our editorial team.

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Guildford GU2 & Chertsey KT16
Written by Warren Vinciguerra, BA (Hons) Registered MBACP
Guildford GU2 & Chertsey KT16

A restored therapist from my own haunted past. I work with this experience closely when treating clients with similar issues . Educational experience of studying for 5 years where I gained a hard earned BA (Hons) in Counselling. Working at some of the UK’s leading private treatment centers practicing therapy with some of the leading researchers .

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