Pet loss

I was once lucky enough to have a furry companion called Sydney, a Chihuahua. I was Sydney’s owner for about a year and a half and it may not sound like much but in that time, Sydney had become my baby. I loved him very much, so when I had to give him up to another owner due to my circumstances changing it was one of the most difficult things I had to do. I grieved for Sydney for many months and even now I miss him and think of how he’s doing. Alongside the grief came feelings of guilt for having let him go and the questions of 'what if?'.

Pet loss, either through giving them up or through death, can be very painful. For some, their pet is part of their family and just as important, so when we lose them we grieve just as we would anyone else who we have lost and loved. Some people may go to a counsellor if they are struggling with bereavement but usually this is for a person rather than a pet. Perhaps this is due to us feeling like we can’t talk about our pet bereavement because we think others won’t understand or accept our grief for an animal.

Talking about grief can help us by sharing stories, help us to understand how we feel and learn to live life without them. This is true of a person or a beloved pet.

For some people, their closest companion is their pet and so losing them can make you feel like you have lost yourself or your purpose. Within a family, the pet may be one of the siblings, I know this to be true for myself as I had a cat growing up who was referred to as my sister. Therefore, when you lose your pet it can be like losing your sister or friend and the feelings of grief are just as valid and important to acknowledge.

When you lose a pet, not only will you feel their loss but you may feel other losses such as loss of taking the dog out for a walk or cuddling up on the sofa with them in the evenings. This can impact how you organise your days and you may feel that sense of loss more deeply for missing these activities.

We may even lose a pet close to when a loved person dies and then you are experiencing multiple losses. Not only are we grieving for the person we love, we are then also grieving for our pet. It can be hard to look at both losses together so taking time to think of one at a time can be helpful to grieve for each of them, although I know this is easier said than done. Speaking to a bereavement counsellor can help you in this.

Personally, I found talking about Sydney helped me to see that I was grieving and gave me the opportunity to voice my grief and share it with someone who understood and accepted me without judgement, which in turn helped me to learn to live without him. I can understand the daunting thought of speaking to a counsellor about a pet because we aren’t sure if they will get it and if they will work with us for a pet bereavement or loss. But there are counsellors out there who do understand and can help.