How to find closure after a loss: A guide to the healing process

Loss is a difficult experience that can leave deep wounds in our hearts and minds. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a cherished relationship, or a cherished goal, it can be challenging to find closure and move on with our lives. In this blog, we will explore the psychology and philosophy of loss and provide a guide to the healing process.

From a psychological perspective, closure after a loss is a critical component of the grieving process. It involves acknowledging and accepting the reality of the loss and moving forward from it. Research has shown that those who can achieve closure are more likely to experience a healthy grieving process, reducing the risk of depression and anxiety.

Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, had a unique perspective on loss and its impact on individuals. He believed that loss can trigger deep psychological pain and that the grieving process is a critical part of the healing process.

In Freud's view, a loss can evoke feelings of sadness, anger, and guilt. He believed that these feelings are often suppressed and can resurface later in life in the form of psychological distress. For this reason, Freud saw the grieving process as a critical step in resolving these feelings and finding closure.

According to Freud, the grieving process involves several stages, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In the initial stage of denial, individuals may try to ignore the reality of the loss and push their emotions aside. In the stage of anger, individuals may experience feelings of frustration and resentment towards the person or situation that caused the loss. In the stage of bargaining, individuals may try to find meaning in the loss, asking questions such as "What if" or "If only". In the stage of depression, individuals may experience feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and isolation. Finally, in the stage of acceptance, individuals may begin to find peace and acceptance in the loss, and be able to move forward with their lives.

In conclusion, Freud's psychological perspective on loss highlights the importance of the grieving process in resolving the deep-seated emotions that are triggered by loss. By acknowledging and processing these emotions, individuals can achieve closure and find peace in the wake of loss.

One of the most effective psychological strategies for achieving closure is therapy. Talking with a trained therapist can help you to process your emotions, develop coping strategies, and come to terms with your loss. Cognitive-behavioural therapy, which focuses on changing negative thought patterns, can be especially useful in this context.

Philosophy also offers guidance on the healing process after a loss. Eastern philosophy, such as Buddhism, views loss as a natural part of the cycle of life and death. The Buddhist philosophy of impermanence teaches us to accept loss as a fact of life and to find peace and contentment in the present moment.

Buddhism is a philosophical and religious tradition that offers a unique perspective on loss and its impact on individuals. According to Buddhist philosophy, loss is an inevitable aspect of life and a natural part of the cycle of birth and death. Buddhists believe that suffering and loss are not accidental, but are inherent to the human experience.

In Buddhist philosophy, the concept of impermanence is central to understanding loss. Impermanence teaches us that all things are in a constant state of change and that nothing remains the same. This includes our loved ones, our relationships, and even our bodies. Buddhists believe that by recognizing the impermanence of all things, we can learn to accept loss as a natural part of life, rather than being attached to things that are always changing.

Buddhism also emphasises the importance of mindfulness in dealing with loss. Mindfulness is a state of awareness in which we pay attention to the present moment without judgment. By practising mindfulness, we can learn to be present in each moment, rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. This can help us to find peace and contentment in the face of loss, and to avoid being overcome by feelings of sadness, anger, and guilt.

Additionally, Buddhist philosophy teaches that attachment is the root of suffering. Attachment refers to the emotional bond that we have with things, people, and experiences. By being attached to things that are subject to change and loss, we set ourselves up for suffering. Buddhists believe that by reducing attachment, we can reduce suffering and find peace in the face of loss.

In conclusion, Buddhist philosophy offers a unique perspective on loss, emphasising the impermanence of all things and the importance of mindfulness and reducing attachment in dealing with loss. By recognising the natural cycle of birth and death, and by practising mindfulness and reducing attachment, we can find peace and contentment in the face of loss.

Similarly, the Stoic philosophy, developed by the ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus, also views loss as a natural part of life. The Stoics believed that individuals should focus on what they can control, such as their thoughts and actions, rather than what they cannot control, such as the loss of a loved one. The Stoics recommended practising acceptance and detachment as a way of reducing the emotional toll of loss.

There are various ways of understanding the process of loss and no one is the right one. Closure after a loss is a critical component of the healing process and can be achieved through a combination of psychological and philosophical strategies. Whether through therapy, practising mindfulness, or embracing a philosophical perspective, it is possible to find closure and move forward with our lives after a loss. Remember, the healing process is not linear and may take time, but with patience and perseverance, you can find peace and contentment in the wake of loss.