Anxiety and uncertainty in choice

You find yourself looking for a counsellor or a psychotherapist, you are looking for a person who you would like to work with. How do you choose? How do you decide?  

Just for one moment take a look at what Einstein had to say about finding solutions (essentially decision making):

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them" Albert Einstein.

Maybe you found your way to this article using the same kind of decision making that you normally use. Could that possibly be part of an existing problem? How you choose? Cognitive behavioural therapy suggests that a person's problems are manifesting in the way a person thinks.

Now, maybe take a look at a few therapist profile pictures, ask yourself "what am I looking for?".  From looking at a picture, ask yourself "what you can know about this person?". If we were to see a picture of you, what would we know about you? Where would our ideas come from? Person centred counselling suggests that some of our problems are derived from the types of judgements others make about us.

Or could our choices be about childhood associations? Psychodynamic therapists would suggest that part of our decision making is unconscious and linked to our childhood development. Could we be unaware of exactly how we choose? Can we ever be certain about what we know?

Now you could possibly feel uncertain that you are in the right place, looking for the right therapist and you could be right. What is your bodily experience of feeling uncertain? Existential therapists would say life is uncertain and some of our anxiety is derived from that. To feel alone in the world, to be uncertain.

Let's go back and look at what Einstein had to say again.

Now ask yourself this...What was he experiencing when he wrote that sentence?. His view on how we cannot solve problems, it was derived from a feeling. Was he feeling frustrated with his or other people's problem solving? Of course we cannot know with certainty, but it can be explored. Feelings contain knowledge that lead to actions.

What we can say is, the action of writing that sentence was motivated by a feeling, we can be certain of that. Emotions move us to action. Emotion awareness is something that can inform and help us in our decision making and behaviours, this can reduce our anxieties. We may create some of our problems but we can also solve them.

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Written by Paul Berry (MBACP) Counsellor & Psychotherapist. DIP

I am a humanistic integrative therapist, trained in emotion focused therapy (EFT). Emotion focused therapy includes empirically supported intervention methods.… Read more

Written by Paul Berry (MBACP) Counsellor & Psychotherapist. DIP

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