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Five questions to ask if you're considering counselling

People often turn to counselling when their distress becomes unbearable. In amongst this turmoil, taking the step to find a counsellor can feel overwhelming. If you’re considering counselling, here are five questions it might be helpful to ask yourself to focus your search.

1. What do I want from the experience?

Generally, counselling has a better outcome the clearer you are about what you want from it. Focusing on the change or difference you want to feel will also help your potential counsellor assess if they can help you.

‘Feeling better or different’ goes without saying, but can you narrow that a bit further? What feeling don’t you want to experience anymore? What situation would you like to see change?

2. How urgent is my need to change or feel different?

It sounds like a silly question. Of course, if we are in pain we want that to go as quickly as possible. Some issues can be supported and transformed quickly in counselling, with as few as six or 12 sessions.  Does your prospective counsellor work with brief therapy or in a solution-focused way?

Other issues are much more deeply rooted and will take longer to address. Do you have the will and patience to stick with the experience, even if it takes longer than you originally thought?

3. What kind of counselling will suit me best?

Considering the type of therapy that a counsellor offers can help you to understand if they are right for you and how long it might take to work through your issues with their guidance.

If you are looking for relatively quick ways of dealing with difficult thoughts, feelings and behaviours, perhaps a cognitive or behavioural approach will suit you, such as CBT.

If you feel you need help to find your own resources to work your way through your difficulties, a more person-centred approach might help. Both these approaches deal very much with the ‘here and now’ of your distress.

If you have a sense that your past may have impacted your present and you have unconscious ways of being in the world which are holding you back, perhaps a more psychoanalytical or psychodynamic approach would help.

If you have a more spiritual yearning for meaning, connection with your potential, then perhaps a transpersonal approach could be helpful.

These are very brief summaries of a few therapeutic approaches. You can find more information on the different types of therapy available on Counselling Directory. However, the most important factor is that you feel comfortable with whoever you choose - and that’s true for all approaches.

Two people taking care of a person's mind

4. Do I feel more comfortable seeing a man or a woman or does it not matter? And what about other questions of identity?

There’s no right or wrong here. Gender might be important to how safe you feel with your counsellor. You may feel more comfortable talking about certain issues with someone of the same sex, or the opposite might be true.

Equally, for example, seeing someone who identifies with your sexuality, your ethnicity, or your disability might be important to you. Or not. Being mindful of your choice and who you are drawn to is worth noticing as part of your search.

5. How committed am I to the process?

Counselling isn’t about someone else giving you the solutions to what's hard in your life. If you feel ready to deepen your self-awareness, to look at what holds you back and drives you forward, counselling can be very helpful. In general, you get back what you put in.

Readiness, willingness, openness and patience can all be very helpful to make this profound investment in yourself worthwhile.

Finding the time and space to reflect on these questions will help you with choosing a counsellor. And, when you meet them, it will help your potential counsellor to ensure you have made the right choice, too.


Connect with a counsellor today. You can search from over 19,000 therapists online and across the UK easily using our advanced search tool. Simply browse profiles until you find a counsellor you resonate with, and send them an email.


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Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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