Sammy Alattar

Hello. I'm Sammy, an experienced, qualified, BACP-registered integrative psychodynamic therapist working privately in Hackney (E8) by London Fields.

My practice is split between weekly therapy with individuals (1-on-1 basis) and relationship therapy (a.k.a. couples counselling/therapy), where I see romantic partners as well as family members, friends and work partners.

What I can offer you

I offer a space to explore whatever it is you might be struggling with, no matter how hard to grasp, confusing, vague, irrational, unmanageable, nameless, unthinkable or unspeakable it may seem to you right now. Together we can shine a light on your difficulties and, in time, help you find your own unique way through them.

Rather than a known or specific problem, perhaps what brings you to therapy is more a sense that something is missing, or not quite working. It could be a desire for personal growth, a feeling of being stuck, trapped or a deep dissatisfaction. Maybe it concerns your daily existence, your career, your passions, your familial, romantic or platonic relationships.

Whatever you're up against, I'll help you figure out what you may be lacking and what might be standing in your way. At your own pace, you can put yourself on a path towards a life that is more purposeful, meaningful and fulfilling.

My role and the psychodynamic view of things

Ultimately it's my job to facilitate your awareness of the deeper, often unconscious and painful origins of your distress, your grief and what holds you back.

Trauma, neglect, loss and deficit - in childhood and throughout adult life - profoundly affect us in ways we often cannot conceive of nor believe.

We may not consciously remember significant chunks of our past, whole periods that were unbearably painful at times and so needed to be locked away.

In the same spirit of self-preservation, we developed selective amnesia for specific, shocking, overwhelming events that changed us indefinitely and we buried the evidence at the bottom of our psyches.

Amongst those lost memories are the forgotten decisions we made about how to survive in the aftermath, survival strategies that saved us back then but now tragically limit us. Ways of being we adopted to get us through dark, terrifying times now sabotage our livelihoods in the present.

It's through becoming aware of, accepting and letting go of what happened to us in the past - and the courageous ways we coped with it - that deep healing and true, lasting change can occur.

When we realise that we've simply been surviving all this time, that we're safe and we no longer have to, then we can start to live.

What I specialise in

Though I help with a diverse range of issues and situations - including those most talked about or all-encompassing e.g. grief, anxiety and depression - I am a specialist in working with:

Complex trauma (C-PTSD), disenfranchised grief and ambiguous loss, creative/creativity blocks, guilt and shame, estrangement, lack of emotional intimacy, sexual issues, lack of meaning and existential angst, the legacy of narcissistic parents or abusive relationships (partner, relative, friend, colleague), infidelity, relationship and attachment issues, perfectionism, conflict avoidance and people-pleasing, life phase transitions, high-sensitivity (HSPs), un-masking neurodiversity, prejudice and difference, family feuds, career dissatisfaction, intercultural partnership, and with those who experienced parentification or "emotional incest" in childhood.

Understandably you may be unfamiliar with some or many of the terms used here. Although a few may sound niche or exotic or taboo, these are all things that affect huge numbers of people.

I am passionate about helping people through those common or universal human experiences that cause untold suffering but that, for one reason or another, our modern society likes to brush under the carpet, or that our culture has little awareness of and no language for.

If you are unsure of and would like to know what any of them mean, then please ask. There are no stupid questions.

I am LGBTQIA+ friendly, sex worker friendly and kink-aware.

What is therapy with me like?

I see psychotherapy as a process of grieving for "what was, what could've been, and what will never be". It is the work of liberation and unburdening. It is challenging and can be intense but isn't always painful or emotionally-hard work. Often it will be an energising, bonding, creative and even enjoyable experience.

Though I will give you space and silence to fully express yourself, and to sit with and process your difficult feelings, it is always a collaborative endeavour. I'll be there to listen but I won't be passive, nor expect you to do all the talking.

A lesser-known and essential part of therapy is for us to use the therapeutic relationship as a kind of testing ground for your real-life situations and relationships. In the spirit of kindness, I'm there to give you honest feedback during our encounters and will invite you to do the same.

Like with all human relationships, sometimes sharing or hearing feedback will be tough - for either of us - and unavoidably require a degree of vulnerability. It will also take courage, something I see as not only a choice to face fears but also a skill that we can learn and practice to challenge and move through them. My priority when it comes to any interpersonal feedback is that it is a growth opportunity for you.

The idea is, over time, through us sharing how we experience one another in the room, there is a ripple-effect in your life outside of it. With growing self-awareness and interpersonal confidence, your interactions there become easier, less guarded, perhaps less frightening or painful, more authentic, satisfying and rewarding.

How I approach the work

Though I root myself in the psychodynamic approach, being an integrative therapist means I'm informed by and draw upon a number of approaches in my practice, including humanistic (re-parenting, existential, gestalt, transactional analysis, person-centred), cognitive (mindfulness, mentalisation-based therapy, dialectical behaviour therapy), somatic (sensorimotor) and neuroscience-based approaches, as well as weaving in my own life experiences.

I find this enables me to work from a variety of perspectives in a natural, non-dogmatic way. I don't believe that any single way of looking at things is "the right one".

I also work with an existential focus, meaning I help you reconcile your personal issues with the over-arching and inescapable challenges of being human (AKA "the human condition"). Freedom & responsibility, isolation, death and meaninglessness all play a role in how we feel from minute-to-minute as well as across our lifetimes, and I will endeavour to help you to understand and face the anxiety that results from them.

Beyond that, you could say my philosophy for practice is a bio-psycho-social-spiritual one. This means I consider biological, psychological, social (& economic) and spiritual factors to be interconnected and of equal importance in contributing to a person's psychological well-being. I believe gaining awareness of, giving attention to and focusing efforts on these factors concurrently promotes better, more sustainable and more resilient mental and physical health.

Therapy as a commitment to yourself 

Beyond simply turning up to sessions week after week, truly transformative therapy requires a thirst for change, a willingness to examine oneself, a dedication of time and a spirit of playful curiosity.

It involves actively questioning how you see yourself, others and the world around you, inside and outside of the therapy room. It takes making therapy a commitment to yourself, a personal responsibility and a priority.

Whilst it's important to allow for therapy to be an organic, unfolding and unintentional process much of the time, being methodological, intentional and deliberate about it at other times is of equal importance.

I encourage my clients to become keen detectives of their present and inquisitive archaeologists of their past. I don't set homework but I do encourage reflective practices such as journalling that will breathe life into the work we do together and magnify its impact.

Though there are no guarantees or quick fixes in therapy, as in much of life, fortunately the ingredients for positive outcomes are well-researched and understood. I am trained to look out for and encourage these favourable conditions to your personal growth, while being mindful of and highlighting any barriers to them.

I will do everything I can to help you reap the potentially life-changing rewards of this kind of work, to heal and grow into the person you would like to become or reconnect with the person who, underneath the layers of psychological baggage, you are already.

My background

Previously I had an office-based career, as well as periods of working in hospitality, in kitchens, for small charities and as a musician.

Though born and raised in the UK, I am mixed-ethnicity, of British, Iraqi and Iranian heritage, and have lived experience of growing up in an intercultural environment.

I also work for a welfare and harm-reduction charity providing on-site psychological and emotional support to festival workers, volunteers and attendees.

My London Fields practice

Address: Therapy Rooms, St Joseph's Hospice, Mare St, London, E8 4SA
Nearest stations: Cambridge Heath (7 min walk), London Fields (8 min), Bethnal Green (14 min)
Buses: 26, 55, 106, 254, D6

How do we begin?

The first step is to send me a message. We'll then arrange a free 30-min phone or video consultation.

During this we'll get acquainted, I'll hear what brings you to therapy, you'll ask me any questions you might have and you'll get a flavour of how it will be for us to work together.

From there we'll book a first session in, aiming to meet at the earliest opportunity. Here we will talk in more depth about what you would like to get out of therapy and how I/it might help you.

If at the end of this session you have a feeling we are a good fit and would us like to continue working together then we can agree to a regular, weekly meeting. Alternatively, if you feel you'd be better matched with a different therapist then I will gladly assist you, where I can, in finding someone more suitable.

I look forward to hearing from you.

My other work

I am also currently recruiting members for an affordable weekly personal development group beginning in Spring 2024. This is a form of group therapy (max. 5 persons), where the focus is on developing interpersonal skills, self-awareness and emotional intelligence - as well as getting comfortable with vulnerability and conflict - through the sharing and receiving of feedback. Please get in touch for more information.

Warm wishes.

Sammy

• Guilt and shame
• Life phase transitions
• Menopause
• Lack of meaning
• The human condition
• Existential angst
• Death anxiety and fear of death
• Feelings of emptiness and apathy
• Social phobia
• Social isolation and exclusion
• Chronic low self-esteem and low self-confidence
• Insomnia
• Negative thoughts and imposter syndrome
• Intrusive thoughts
• Intercultural partnership
• Family estrangement
• Mixed-race issues
• Racism and prejudice
• LGBTQI+ issues
• Autism and neurodiversity
• Highly sensitive persons (HSP)
• Difficult parental relationships
• Issues with control and being controlling
• Narcissism, narcissistic parents, narcissistic partner and narcissistic abuse
• Complex trauma / complex PTSD (C-PTSD)
• Parentification and emotional incest
• Burdens
• Conflict and conflict avoidance
• People-pleasing
• Sexual issues
• Addiction recovery
• Porn addiction
• Workaholism
• Body image issues
• Business relationships
• Communication issues
• Lack of emotional or sexual intimacy
• Affairs & betrayals
• Separation & divorce
• Personal development
• Perfectionism
• Procrastination and writer's block,
• Skin conditions
• Physical & chronic health issues
• Psycho-somatic pain
• Disordered eating
• Health anxiety
• Processing spiritual/psychedelic experiences
• Migration-related stress
• Boarding school syndrome
• Quarter-life and mid-life crisis
• Eco anxiety and climate-change anxiety

Clients pay by bank transfer (BACS / Monzo) or cash.

My fees:

• Individuals - £70 per 50 minute session
• Couples
  • £80 per 60 minute session
  • £100 per 75 minute session
• Personal Development Group - £120/month (approx. £30 per 90 minute session).