Useful Articles by Counsellors and Psychotherapists
Music and well-being
May 15th, 2012 by Peter Baikie MBACP BA (hons)
How much does music affect us and our environment? We know that certain pieces of music can make us feel sad, cheerful and on occasion euphoric, but does music have any deeper therapeutic value? Here are five research conclusions that not only confirm what you may have already thought, but also throw up some surprising (and at times amusing) findings. 1. Music relieves stress. The entire human energetic system is extremely influenced by sounds, and neuroscientists have proved that music...
On Basic Goodness
May 15th, 2012 by James O'Neill,M.Sc.,M.E.S.,M.A.
I have been thinking about this topic for about twenty years. This by the way is not, can never be, the final word on this topic. There can never be a final word, a final definition of what we are calling Basic Goodness. Nor can there ever be a final reckoning on ourselves. We are mysterious and as unfathomable. Strange beings. In these areas we are all beginners and will remain so. However recently a friend sent me a link to a talk given by the American academic who has done years of...
Seeking counselling is not a weakness
May 15th, 2012 by Craig Draper Diploma in Counselling (MBACP)
Through the counselling process clients may have to face some really difficult challenges. It could be that in the introspection it may be necessary to examine painful experiences or events. This can at the time be a painful experience in itself. The individual may have to examine parts of themselves that they may know before counselling that they will have to explore or may not know until faced with the prospect during counselling. I believe it is the role of a counsellor to...
How an affair can be a catalyst for change
May 14th, 2012 by Patrick McCurry MBACP, UKCP Reg
Affairs are generally regarded as extremely destructive to any intimate relationship. They cause hurt, distress, anger and affect trust in a major way. Despite this, if the affair leads to a couple seeking therapy it can actually force them to address deeper issues in the relationship. When a couple arrives at their therapist’s office to talk about the effects of an affair there will always be extremely strong emotions expressed. The ‘victim’ partner may feel devastated, sad...
Betrayal - the death of a relationship?
May 14th, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. Counsellor
A subject that comes up often when couples go to counselling is that of betrayal. It is not what was done but rather how it was done. The definition most often used in the context of a relationship is: “To be false or disloyal”. This undermines the trust and one partner is left wondering if they know the other at all, because all they thought they were has been proved wrong. Often is it like a bereavement, the betrayed person is likely to be very angry at what has happened, perhaps...
MIRROW, MORROW ON THE WALL… Or how to survive the influences of your narcissistic...
May 11th, 2012 by Carmen Von Haenisch BA (Hons) Counselling , MBACP (Accred), Supervisor
Snow White is haunted by her narcissistic stepmother until she comes of age and finds herself in a position (with a little help from a love struck prince) to liberate herself and live the life she wants. I have always been fascinated by this fairy-tale and puzzled by some dilemmas:
Why does Snow White’s father give his new wife the power to hurt his beloved daughter? Why does no one challenge the stepmother’s wickedness? How does a princess know how to care for seven...
Are you compelled to repeat behaviour you’d rather ditch?
May 10th, 2012 by Tina Radziszewicz BSc (Hons), MA, UKCP Registered Psychotherapist
If so, you’re not alone! From dating ‘bad boys’ or ‘psycho women’ repeatedly despite vows of “never again” after the misery they cause, to making yet another friend who proceeds to boss you around, or finding yourself in a job where you feel undervalued again, many of us seem unable to stop ourselves repeating experiences that hurt us. Why should this be? Sigmund Freud recognised this common human phenomenon, which he called the Repetition Compulsion....
Infidelity – The Triangle of Betrayal: Will You still Love me tomorrow? (Part 1)
May 9th, 2012 by Claudia Anderson PG Dipl Psych, MBACP Qualified Careers Counsellor
Since the passage of time, men and women have been having affairs. The reasons are multi-layered and often intertwined, from sexual boredom and frustration with a partner to a person sabotaging relationships based on unresolved issues from the past within another relationship. The issues generated around infidelity are complex. In some cases a therapist identifies, the internal reasons, such as the effects of pregnancy, child development, menopause, addiction, illness etc. but there are also...
The Power and Protection of our Intuition
May 9th, 2012 by Richard Gosling Assoc. UKAHPP
Recently I was given cause to consider our intuition and how we can often ignore it even though it is our truest, wisest and most loyal friend. A close friend relayed to me the distressing experiences she had after inviting a colleague to stay in her home whilst the man was attending a seminar, he had told her that the only available accommodation he had been offered was to sleep on somebody’s floor. She felt he deserved better and offered him her son’s bedroom. It resulted in a...
Those embarressing little moments
May 8th, 2012 by Graeme Orr MBACP(Accred), UKRCP Reg. Ind. Counsellor
Sometimes as you go about your daily activities, you are suddenly hit by an old memory, something awkward or embarrassing. Perhaps a situation where you now wish you had acted differently, or where others saw you in an unfavourable light, or where you lost your temper or became emotional. Thinking about it again brings back unwanted anxious feelings. It can seem to swamp our mind and we might spend some time thinking them through. We’d love to let them go because they are a constant...
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