Nicky Holt

I am now offering counselling in person and online. 

Couples Work

Being in a relationship can be one of life's greatest rewards and most difficult challenges.  I aim to offer a safe and non-judgemental environment for  both partners to explore the  unhelpful patterns of communication and behaviour that take place between you and the emotions that may be driving these. My work is informed by Emotionally Focussed Therapy for couples, a framework that has been well researched and demonstrated to provide good results for couples in distress.   It is based on adult attachment theory and helps us to understand our automatic  responses when we fear that our partner may not be emotionally available or may not view us in a  positive light.   In these situations we can often find ourselves in a vicious cycle of conflict or withdrawal. In counselling, we work together to identify these cycles and to help the couple find new ways of communicating that help to build a strong connection. It may be part of our work to try and find a way to heal after there has been a significant betrayal.

It is important to understand I will not take sides regarding your relationship issues but will work hard to understand what goes on between you and how that impacts you as individuals. I cannot work with you as a couple if the relationship is abusive  or there are untreated addiction issues as this form of therapy is unlikely to be helpful.  I work positively with a diversity of couple relationships.

Individuals:

I hope to offer you a non-judgemental and highly validating space in which to reflect on your personal struggles. Via a process of empathic reflection and radical acceptance, you will gain new perspectives on your situation, greater self-awareness and an understanding of how you have learned to navigate the world. We all carry outdated beliefs and behaviour patterns that no longer serve us and counselling offers us a chance to update these and explore new ways of being that are more helpful in our current environment.  

I am trained in traditional talk therapy in which the client and I engage in dialogue however it can also be very useful to explore other therapeutic methods that help us explore core beliefs that may be a little out of our awareness. I am training in a method known as "Healing the Shadow" which encourages a deep and embodied exploration of different parts of ourselves that we may experience as problematic or disturbing. Rather than attempting to get rid of these parts we can get to know their important motivations, fears and longings. We may then develop a more compassionate and accepting relationship with ourselves that is a key ingredient for therapeutic change. Whilst this is an embodied method (meaning it might include moving around or changing position it does not involve touch). Please see this link for further information.

https://healingtheshadow.co.uk/healing-the-shadow/

I will always discuss with clients how they would prefer to work in our sessions and will fully respect their preferences.

Costs and Practicalities.

I charge £75 for a 90 mins couples session and £50 for individuals. When working with couples I would like to hear from both partners that they are willing to start this process. This can be via e-mail if necessary. We can then meet for an initial session with no commitment to ongoing work. If we agree we are a good fit to work together we will schedule a series of sessions for the coming month and then review this monthly. I will ask that fees are paid at the end of each session.

About me:

I am a fully qualified and experienced counsellor who has worked with individuals for many years dealing with a broad range of mental health, life and relationship issues. I have particular experience in work related counselling and worked for many years for a local NHS Trust supporting their staff. Prior to training as a counsellor, I had over 20 years of experience as a Mental Health Nurse.  In 2019 I  trained  with Relate, the relationship counselling charity and am now offering couple work independently.  I have undertaken further training in Emotionally Focussed Therapy for couples.  I am passionate about this work believing that a good relationship with yourself and others is at the heart of human well-being.

I have limited availability, please contact me to discuss. 

Couples - £75 for a 90 minute session

Keyworkers or those on Low Incomes please ask about a shorter session of 60 minutes charged at £55.00. I am limited to two reduced fee slots at any one time so there may be a short wait list.