About me
For most of us, facing sexual problems feels really isolating, distressing & embarassing. If you’re reading this I imagine you’ve already overcome the self-conscious instinct to avoid talking about the issue as long as possible and now find yourself taking the difficult step to reach out for help. Unfortunately, scrolling through endless profiles offering the same ‘safe, non-judgemental space’, and lots of mysterious jargon is probably so overwhelming you might well want to avoid this process too! If so, I relate! Shoot me a message to arrange a no-obligation, 30 min chat about what’s going on so you can get a sense of my vibe and decide whether we’re a good fit from there.
I work with people who’re feeling anxious about their sexual behaviours, desires, bodies, relationships or past. Often the anxiety is so overpowering it makes it impossible to access the kind of ease, connection, pleasure or confidence they’d like in their sex lives. Maybe you’re feeling ashamed about your body- its ability to ‘function’ sexually, what it looks like, how it feels or how its changing? Maybe you’re feeling uncomfortable with who or what turns you on- desiring people or fantasies that feel at odds with your identity, values, culture or relationship? Maybe you’re worried about not feeling enough desire, pleasure or satisfaction? Maybe you feel out of control of your behaviour, and engage in sex in ways that get in the way of your life, relationships or self-regard? Maybe non-sexual life events such as parenthood, fertility issues, transition, loss or trauma are impacting sex in uncomfortable ways.
You are not alone and the pain you’re feeling isn’t a life sentence. I know from personal and clinical experience that therapy can generate profound and lasting transformation. I’ve worked with clients who, after years of suffering, found relief, hope and healing via the therapeutic process. We will establish a relationship in which you can experience genuine non-judgement, empathy, authenticity and accountability. Within this context, we will explore your presenting issue & its context- the physical, psychological and socio-cultural realities that surround it. This process will support you to develop insight, shift the patterns and narratives that sustain the problem and ultimately generate new possibilities for sexual confidence and pleasure.
I’m a sex and relationships psychotherapist trained in Pluralism, a type of therapy that prioritises the therapist adapting their approach to the specific needs of individual clients, on the premise that there's no one universally superior approach but instead what works best for one client won't be the same as what works best for another. This involves collaborating together over time to discover what works for YOU. We'll explore the role of core identity, experiences & beliefs in your distress alongside introducing practical, behavioural changes. How we do this depends on what's useful for you. More or less directive? Psycho-education? Mindfulness? Creativity? Narrative? Concepts? Trauma-processing? Culture? Skills-focused? TBC!
The therapy swimming pool: Down at the deep end lies our core identities, values, beliefs, memories, traumas, cultural norms & the legacies of our early experiences. At the shallow end lies our present-day circumstances- our lifestyle, (sexual) habits, communication patterns, relationship dynamics, resources, thought patterns etc.
I believe the most transformative therapy to involve moving between deep-dive psychological exploration and supporting practical changes in the present.
I work with clients who (are):
- women, men, non-binary, other
- straight, gay, queer, asexual, other
- religious, spiritual, other
- married, not married, monogamous, non-monogamous
- 18+, including senior/elderly
- speak English as a second language
- politically right, left or neither
- 'kinky,' 'vanilla', neither
- sex workers, those who patronise sex workers
In psychosexual therapy, problems I support clients with include concerns relating to:
- arousal, orgasm, pleasure
- sexual identity, orientation, gender
- preferences, kinks, fantasies
- sexual shame, (performance) anxiety, fear, insecurity
- body image
- low desire, mismatched desire
- consent
- communication
- genital pain
- penetration
- unreliable erections
- ejaculation
- compulsive sexual behaviour ('addiction')
- sex-related ptsd
In relationship therapy, problems I support clients with include concerns relating to:
- communication
- conflict
- sexual problems
- boundaries
- betrayal
- Trust
- differences relating to culture, tradition, religion, values, lifestyle
- parenthood
- fertility
- relational expectations
- jealousy
- control
- navigating changes
- relationship structure
If you’re interested in exploring whether I’m the right therapist for you, I look forward to hearing from you. If this doesn’t feel like the right vibe for you, I wish you well on your search.
Training, qualifications & experience
- Diploma (L7) in Psychosexual & Relationship Therapy, Contemporary Institute of Clinical Sexology, 2023- 2025
- L3 in Counselling Skills, Lewisham Counselling & Counsellor Training Centre, 2022-2023
As part of my clinical training, I provided psychosexual & relationships therapy between 2024-2026 to support clients experiencing a wide range of sexual & relational issues at affordable UK-based clinical sexology service Sex Therapy Herts and Cape Town-based LGBTQ+ charity The Triangle Project. I continue to provide free, therapeutic support at The Triangle Project for clients who cannot access private healthcare.
Alongside therapeutic practise, I'm a specialist trainer, facilitator, consultant & author in relationships & sexuality education (RSE), sexual & gender-based violence (SGBV) and gender, sex & relationship diversity (GSRD). I have over 10 years’ experience facilitating RSE, SGBV and GRSD workshops & CPD training to young people and professionals, including training counsellors & psychotherapists of diverse modalities to work affirmatively with sexual themes, including desire, pleasure, kink, queerness, consent, sexual violence and relationship diversity.
Previous roles include Head of Training & Sexual Violence Prevention Specialist at national, award-winning RSE provider The School of Sexuality Education & Training Lead at a Rape Crisis Centre. As well as training professionals, Ruth facilitates RSE workshops with adults- most of us didn’t get any when we were at school!
In addition to my core training in Pluralist Psychosexual & Relationship Therapy and person-centred counselling, I have attended:
- STOPSO- Working therapeutically with clients who present sexual risk, 2026
- Relational Life Institute- Relational Life Therapy Module 1, 2025-6
- NSPCC - Child Protection in Schools, 2020
- Phola- COURAGE Methodology, narrative therapy training for survivors of sexual trauma, 2020
- The School of Consent - Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent, 2019
- Rape Crisis Scotland - Support Worker training, 2018
- Scottish Women’s Aid - Understanding the Dynamics of Domestic Abuse, 2018
- LGBT Scotland - Sexual Violence in the LGBT+ community, 2018
- Shakti Women’s Aid - Domestic Abuse & 'Honour', 2017
Member organisations
COSRT is the UK’s leading membership organisation for therapists specialising in sexual and relationship issues.
All members must abide by their Code of Ethics and the performance of accredited members is regularly monitored.
Areas of counselling I deal with
Therapies offered
Fees
£50.00 - £120.00
Concessions offered for
Additional information
Individual therapy:
- £50, £60 or £70 per 60 min session
- £70, £80 or £90 per 90 min session
Relationships therapy:
- £80, £90 or £100 per 60 min session
- £100, £110 or £120 per 90 min session
Sliding scale Guidelines:
Please choose a rate that’s genuinely reflective of your circumstances and most accurately aligns with your financial position. I understand individual circumstances are complex, and you may not identify with every point- that’s OK!- please choose whichever feels the most relatable. Please trust you are warmly welcome into my practice at whichever rate you can afford- I currently do not limit the number of lower-rate places.
Higher rate suitable for those who:
- Have sufficient resources to comfortably cover rent/ necessities or
- Own property or
- Fully/partially live off unearned (gifted/ inherited) resources or
- Earn a salary from a secure job to enjoy substantial disposable income
- Could afford to pay this rate on a weekly basis without consciously budgeting elsewhere
Mid rate suitable for those who
- Have sufficient resources to comfortably cover rent/ necessities or
- Earn enough money to enjoy disposable income or
- Fully/partially live off unearned (gifted/ inherited) resources or
- Could afford to pay this rate on a weekly basis without consciously budgeting elsewhere
Lower rate suitable for those who
- Must be mindful of spending in order to cover rent/necessities or
- Have never lived off unearned (gifted/inherited) resources or
- Have an insecure income or
- Have multiple dependents or
- Are an unpaid carer or
- Have a gender identity/expression, ability, class, or racialised identity that has significantly affected capacity to generate income
As someone who’s benefited from unearned resources myself, I am committed to making my work as accessible as possible. As such, alongside private practice, I work pro bono with The Triangle Project (a charity supporting the LGBTQ+ community in Cape Town, SA), providing psychotherapeutic support to clients unable to afford private healthcare.
Further information
What to expect:
- I work online, typically Mon-Thurs, 10 am- 5 pm.
- Enquiry form (preferred). If your initial email doesn't include this info, I may request you complete this form to help establish whether I am well placed to support you.
https://forms.gle/xeQpKFJuDWdJyUci7 - 30 min Consultation call (optional) An opportunity for you to ask any questions, get a sense of my vibe and see if you'd like to pursue therapy with me. Free if you don't want to continue, £25 if you do, added to your first session's fee
- Client registration form & contract (required) All clients must complete & sign both before pursuing therapy to ensure mutual clarity re the therapeutic process, boundaries & logistics.
- 60 or 90 min first session: initial assessment (required). In order to ensure I'm providing appropriate support, our first 1 or 2 sessions will involve establishing the context for your presenting problem. Various contextual factors are important for me to understand to safely & effectively engage in therapy. Assessments include questions about identity, mental, physical & sexual health, sexual & relationship history, trauma history, lifestyle, family history, cultural background & access needs.
- 60 or 90-minute sessions weekly. You will have a weekly slot at the same time on the same day. Occasional rearrangements with adequate notice (as outlined in your contract) are inevitable and OK. I currently do not offer bi-weekly sessions outside of the final stages of a therapeutic process, during which I offer reducing the frequency of sessions before ending.
- Check-ins during open- ended therapy. I offer open-ended therapy, which means there's no set limit on the length of time I'll work with someone. I invite regular check-ins in different formats to understand your experience and how it might be improved & to share any concerns I may have.
- Ending therapy- you can stop therapy at any time. I ask clients to give at least 2 sessions' notice to honour the process and facilitate a safe and contained closure.
Therapy with me involves:
- Establishing a trusting relationship in which clients feel free and safe to be authentically themselves. Through consistently demonstrating empathy, sensitivity & non-judgement, clients can engage honestly and openly about what's troubling them
- Exploring the clients' difficulty within the context of their physical, psychological & relational experiences
- Developing understanding of how a client's values, identity, beliefs & cultural context affect their experience
- Equipping clients with concepts & frameworks to help develop new awareness & clearer insight into the nature of their problem: Why is it happening? What impact is it having? What beliefs, judgements and interpretations are being made about it? Why haven't previous attempts to overcome it worked?
- Introducing psycho/sexual/relational education, tools & practical exercises to support clients to overcome their difficulties
- Identifying the clients' preexisting resources & strengths that can support them to navigate the presenting issue
- Supporting clients to process traumatic experiences and manage their ongoing impact
