What is pornography addiction?
Porn addiction, also known as problematic pornography use (PPU), is a compulsive habit that causes feelings of distress or affects your daily life. If you are concerned that your porn watching habits may be negatively impacting you, speaking with a counsellor could help.
Porn addiction is not currently a formally recognised clinical diagnosis. However, the World Health Organization added compulsive sexual behaviour as a mental disorder in 2018. While pornography is not singled out within the diagnosis, compulsive sexual behaviour (also referred to as hypersexuality or sex addiction) can involve any sexual activity that is repeated and becomes the central focus of someone's life. This focus leads to neglecting their health, personal care, and other interests.
Watching porn is more common than you might think. According to Ofcom, 29% of adults in the UK access pornographic content online. Men are more than twice as likely to access porn, making up 72% of the audience. As porn is widely accessible and free to access, it can be a common worry that you may watch too much or too often. Over time, this may cause feelings of emotional distress, anxiety, depression, or loneliness. Porn addiction can negatively impact your relationships. You may find yourself feeling sexually dissatisfied when having sex without watching porn.
Many men feel trapped by internet pornography. It has developed into an addiction. They perhaps cannot perform without access to pornography, and they spend more and more time finding the right “perfect” images.
- Counsellor Graeme Orr MBACP (Accred) discusses is pornography cheating?
Some experts think porn addiction may be a behavioural addiction, rather than physical. A behavioural addiction is a habit that you feel you have little or no control over. You feel like you can’t stop, even if you know it is hurting you or your relationship. Other experts believe that porn can be physically addictive as it encourages our brains to release high levels of dopamine. This gives an intense ‘high’ that can lead some people to seek out that feeling again and again.
I'm uncomfortable with my porn use. What can I do?
You don't have to feel like you have an addiction to want to make changes with your relationship with porn. Maybe you are worried that you watch too much, feel uncomfortable with how often you use porn or the type of pornography you access. If you are uncomfortable or unhappy, it can be a sign that it's time to reach out and speak with someone to help make changes.
A therapist can help you to examine why you are feeling uncomfortable, the underlying reasons why you may be turning to porn, and changes you can make to feel more comfortable.
What does porn addiction do to your brain?
We aren’t entirely sure what porn addiction can do to your brain; more research is needed. There are worries that watching too much porn may directly affect your mental state. For some, frequently watching porn can lead to performance anxiety, body image issues, and feeling lonely or depressed. A 2023 systematic review concluded that frequent porn use could be linked to behaviour changes. This included objectification, increased risk-taking, compulsivity, and escalating violent behaviour. There is debate over whether these behaviour changes are a direct result of watching porn, or whether there may be other contributing factors.
What are the effects of porn addiction?
Excessive use of porn can affect you in a number of different ways:
Porn addiction can negatively impact your relationships
Men in particular, who watch porn frequently, may be more likely to withdraw emotionally from their partners. This can contribute to a lower or dwindling sense of intimacy in relationships. It can also negatively impact your self-esteem, leading to worries about your sex life and shared interests in the bedroom.
Excessive pornography use can affect your sexual satisfaction
Some people worry that watching a lot of porn can lead to unrealistic body expectations and a skewed view of sexual actions. Some people may forget that they are watching actors, and events may not represent real sexual experiences. Over time, you may become more critical of your (or your partners) appearance. You may start comparing your sex life or relationship to what you see in porn. This can create an unhealthy level of pressure and unrealistic expectations. This, in turn, can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction or disappointment.
Watching porn can affect your day-to-day life
You may find thoughts of watching porn start to creep into other areas of your life. This could include being preoccupied with thoughts of watching porn while at work, at home, or when spending time with friends. You may feel the overwhelming urge to watch porn instead of completing other tasks. This may affect your productivity, your interactions with others, and can lead to changes in behaviour.
Porn addiction can impact your mood and life satisfaction
Porn addiction can lead to intense feelings of depression, isolation, and shame. You may lose interest in activities that aren’t related to porn, and may have trouble focusing on anything else.
It is also believed that porn addiction may affect or lead to other mental health problems. For example, a strong interest in erotic materials has been linked to anxiety, while hypersexuality (also known as sex addiction) – often involving excessive pornography use – is commonly associated with mood disorders like depression.
Studies have suggested that porn can create an unrealistic culture of sexualisation and body dissatisfaction. Particularly during adolescence, research suggests it may negatively influence sexual identity and relationships. This is due to unrealistic stereotypes represented in porn.
How can I support a loved one with porn addiction?
Supporting someone you love through porn addiction can feel tough. You may feel hurt by their viewing habits or struggle to understand what they are going through. Putting aside personal judgements to create an open, safe space where they can talk without fear of judgement can help. Show that you care and are there to listen. Make it clear that they do not need to feel ashamed talking about their addiction.
How do you know if you’re addicted to porn?
While there is no official diagnosis of porn addiction, there are several behaviours that can be described as problematic porn use. These ‘porn addiction symptoms’ and signs can include:
- A persistent desire to watch, read, or listen to porn to the detriment of other areas of your life (work, socialising, other hobbies).
- Your use of porn has a negative effect on your work or personal relationships.
- You spend significant amounts or more than you can afford on porn.
- Engaging in risky sexual behaviour or watching porn at risky times or moments (e.g. when likely to be caught).
- Using porn to avoid or cope with other difficult emotions (anxiety, feeling sad, or lonely).
- You feel angry, irritable or upset if someone suggests you try to watch less porn to stop altogether.
- You find it difficult or impossible to watch less porn, or feel unable to stop altogether.
- Feelings of shame or guilt after using porn.
- You notice you are watching more extreme kinds of porn to find the same level of enjoyment.
- Sex with others has become less satisfying.
- You are hiding how much or when you are watching or hiding from your partner.
- Your sexual behaviour with your partner has changed. You may be more aggressive, dominant, emotionless, or prefer to watch porn instead of having sex with your partner.
Porn use becomes problematic when you feel like it is negatively affecting you. If you are unhappy with how often you are watching or thinking about porn or the kind of porn you are accessing, it may be time to find help. Reaching out to talk to someone is the first step in getting the help you need to break unhelpful habits, feel more comfortable and in control.
What causes porn addiction?
There is no generally accepted consensus for what causes porn addiction. How easily you can access porn is thought to be one contributing factor, but many different things may have an effect. These can include:
- Brain differences: Some people may be more susceptible to behavioural addictions.
- Cultural factors: Societal expectations around appearance, relationships, and sex.
- Relationship problems: Relationship, intimate, or sexual problems can lead some people to turn towards porn to fulfil unsatisfied desires or to try and cope with a lack of intimacy.
- Stress or psychological problems: Using sex as a form of escapism or to cope with other issues.
- Family addiction: If a parent or sibling has experienced addiction or a mental health condition (e.g. anxiety or depression), you may be more likely to experience porn addiction.
How common is porn addiction?
We don't know precisely how common porn addiction is. We do know that a number of people are worried about how often they use porn. According to a 2019 study, around 11% of men and 3% of women report someone agreeing with the statement ‘I am addicted to pornography’. Those who felt they were addicted to porn were most likely to be young and male. They were also more likely to be religious and to use pornography more often, despite feeling conflicted or guilty about it.
Porn addiction help: Therapy for porn addiction
The first step towards recovery is recognising that you have a problem. If you are worried that you or someone you know may be affected by porn addiction, it is important to access help. Working with a mental health professional can help you in various ways. A professional therapist can help you to understand how you are feeling and recognise unhelpful behaviours. With their help, you can find new ways of coping with underlying factors that may be fueling your addiction to pornography.
There is no single best therapy for porn addiction. Many kinds of talking therapy, in person and online, can help. An experienced, qualified mental health professional can help you talk through your worries about your porn use.
Research suggests that some people who are worried they may be addicted to porn may feel an increased sense of guilt or discomfort due to cultural or religious beliefs. Working with a therapist can help to unpack and explore your concerns around porn, cultural and religious beliefs.
A therapist may be able to help you recognise other issues that you may be using porn to cope with. For example, you may use porn to avoid addressing stress, anxiety, anger, or depression.
Self-help for porn addiction
Self-help can offer a supportive way of changing unhelpful behaviours around pornography addiction. Learning about compulsive sexual behaviours can help you to better understand potential causes. It can also help you find out more about other treatment options available, including group therapy and support groups.
Worried your porn use may be impacting your relationship? Working with a counsellor specialising in porn addiction or a couples therapist, together with your partner, can help. Therapy can provide the space to discuss shared or individual worries and address underlying issues. It can also help to improve communication and find healthy ways of opening up.
Psychotherapy can help you learn how to manage compulsive sexual behaviours. Working with your partner or seeing a therapist by yourself, different kinds of psychotherapy can help in different ways. These can include:
- Relational-integrative approach. A relational-integrative approach incorporates aspects of both integrative and relational approaches. Integrative therapy combines theories and techniques from a range of different approaches based on what seems helpful for you, rather than sticking to a fixed way of working. Relational therapy, or relational psychotherapy, focuses on how past and present relationships impact our mental health and emotional well-being. A combined approach can offer a more holistic approach that can look at you as a whole, rather than individual behaviours.
- Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). CBT can help you identify unhealthy, unhelpful negative behaviours and beliefs and replace them with new, more beneficial ways of coping.
- Acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). ACT can help you accept thoughts and urges, learning to commit to choosing actions that are more consistent with your values.
- Psychodynamic psychotherapy. Psychodynamic psychotherapy can help you to focus on increasing your awareness of your unconscious thoughts and behaviours. This can help you develop new insights into your motivations and resolve conflicts.
Can abstinence help with porn addiction?
Abstinence to reduce problematic porn use and masturbation has become a popular recommendation in recent years. While some individuals report increased levels of happiness, improved self-acceptance, and lower levels of stress and anxiety, these are often self-reported benefits rather than backed by research. Some believe that by abstaining from masturbation, they may increase their testosterone levels. While testosterone does affect mood and energy levels, there is currently no evidence linking the effect of masturbation to testosterone levels.
A 2021 study into the pornography 'rebooting' experience (abstaining to overcome perceived negative consequences associated with porn use as a way of 'rewiring' your brain) highlighted the need for further studies into the use of abstaining from pornography as a way of recovering from problematic porn use.
You can change your habits and relationship with pornography with the right help and support. Talking to a qualified therapist can be a great first step. A counsellor can help you make lasting changes and find healthier ways to deal with difficult thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. If you're ready to talk with someone, find a porn addiction therapist online or near you.
