Jayne Newman MA, MBACP(individual), HPD

Jayne Newman MA, MBACP(individual), HPD

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45 Dunston Hill
Tring
Hertfordshire
HP23 4AT

07970 257013 / 07970 257013

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45 Dunston Hill
Tring
Hertfordshire
HP23 4AT

07970 257013 / 07970 257013

About me

You're probably reading this because things aren't going so well?

We're all fellow strugglers.

No one takes us to one side in the maternity ward and hands us a manual on how to be happy and fulfilled as individuals, or how to raise happy, healthy and successful kids! Or indeed how to have a happy relationship with our partners.

We're all just doing our best with the resources we have. But sometimes things stop working, maybe they've never really worked? The things we do, somehow seem to cause more problems than they solve?

Let's think about how to sharpen some of the tools in your tool kit and get rid of those that no longer work and maybe add a few new strategies that you hadn't thought about...

Am I right for you?

I have a private room at my home in a quiet road where I work with families, couples, individuals and young people.

I've helped clients understand and deal with:

  • divorce and separation
  • should I stay or should I leave?
  • getting over a relationship
  • step/blended families
  • single parenting
  • difficulties with relationships through the teenage years
  • drugs
  • alcohol
  • smoking
  • phobias - flying, spiders, dark, public speaking etc
  • bereavement
  • difficulties with the effects on the family of drug and alcohol misuse
  • anger
  • violent and abusive behaviour
  • depression
  • self harm
  • bullying
  • low self esteem and low confidence
  • how to communicate more effectively
  • when children grow up and leave home

"If you don't change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever.....Is that good news?" (W.Somerset Maugham)

Why do we continue to do what we do, when it doesn't help us?

This is the question that drove me from being a partner in a financial services firm with my now ex-husband to a single parent therapist. (**WARNING** That's not the right solution for everyone - but it is still right for me 12 years later...)

Why do we do the things we do, even though the behaviour no longer serves us?

"Bad" habits or addictions

Why are they here and what do we do about them?

Maybe you or someone close to you are doing things like drinking, smoking, using drugs, working too hard, porn, sex, gambling, shopping etc?

We all do things that will meet our basic human needs and if we don't meet them in positive ways, we'll meet them through quick and easy negative behaviours that cause even more problems for us and our loved ones in the long run. They all serve a purpose, they fulfil a need in us.

We are human. These are survival patterns that have been hijacked by quick fixes that cause stress and aggravation in the longer term.

Stress, anxiety and depression

Most people don't have effective strategies to deal with stress, anxiety or depression so we'll use drugs (legal and illegal) to block it out or a behaviour that ends up causing longer term problems.

The thing is, that we end up with at least two times more problems - our bodies suffer side effects, drugs cost money and we don't really ever deal with with underlying problem.

Would you like to find better ways to deal with the things that are not going so well in life?

What if you have to make a decision to change jobs or end a relationship?

Sometimes changing the way we respond to situations can make a huge difference. Sometimes changing our beliefs and the way we are looking at a situation or person can make the difference.

About a century ago, Carl Jung said that:

You can't solve a problem that was created in the unconscious mind, using the conscious mind;

and he was right.

So if problems are caused in the unconscious part of our brains (most are,) we can't think our way out of them? So how do we overcome them and use them to our advantage?

Let's figure this out and understand what's going on for you and how we can shift the damage and burdens of the past? Many of us have had traumas and extremely difficult things to deal with.

What if you could detach the pain from the past?

...and either accept it for what it is, an appalling past event, or maybe use the experience to grow in understanding and wisdom so that you can be free to live a happier, more fulfilled life?

It is possible and more quickly than you might imagine.

Presentations and public speaking

Most problems have been incorrectly coded in the unconscious part of our brain, the part that is responsible for the flight, fight freeze response that keeps us alive.

We need to teach our limbic system that we aren't going to die if we have to make presentation at work! Right now its making us sweat, go red, stammer, want to throw up! We have to recode this as a normal thing that's helpful for our survival, we get experience, recognition, promotion, feel great we've shared our knowledge etc etc - not really life threatening is it?

This is a reality in my day to day work.

We'll work on the issues together and if we can't blow them away in one go, we'll dismantle the jigsaw piece by piece, turn it over and create a much better picture on the other side.

Why can't you have a happy relationship?

Our brains aren't designed to make us happy, they're designed to keep us alive and they do this by pattern matching.

This is why we get triggered, the emotional, unconscious part of our brain stores things that have been pleasurable and also things that have caused us pain in the past and then we go through life wondering why we can't have a relationship or why we're scared to get on a plane or many other things that make no logical sense.

Emotional responses are NOT logical, that's why we can talk about them 'til the cows come home and it will make very little difference to how you respond.

Whenever I do this work it's not surprising to me to uncover that the root of the issue is because a boy or girl that we liked called us names in school when we secretly fancied them - but we were only 9 at the time!

In this example, unconsciously we carry the imprint of rejection and match all other relationships to this event and it gets reinforced over the years.

Is it any wonder why, relationships feel scary, if a similar negative consequence happened to you happened to you (even though you might not be consciously aware of it)?

Phobias?

What about spiders, flying, public speaking, interviews, socialising etc etc....Same thing! Your unconscious brain is just trying to protect you.

We need to upgrade the hard drive with new information.

We can find the root, interrupt and change these unconscious patterns to create more helpful and empowering ways of handling relationships, work and life.

I look forward to working with you.

Training, qualifications & experience

I'm a Relate trained and experienced counsellor working with families, couples, young people and individuals.

I have a Masters degree in family and relationship therapy, a Relate certification in working with young people.

I've worked in schools, health centres and my own private practice, counselling and coaching families, couples, individuals and young people.

I am an NLP master practitioner, trained by John Grinder and Michael Carroll at The NLP Academy

Life Coach trained by Tony Robbins, Cloe Madanes and Mark and Magali Peysha at RMT

Cognitive hypnotherapist trained by Trevor Silvester at the Quest Institute

Along with all of my colleagues, I continue to add additional knowledge and skills through ongoing development, in order to sharpen my effectiveness in working with you.

My specialisms are in:

Addictions/habit breaking - smoking, drinking, drugs, porn, gambling etc.

Relationships - staying together or deciding to leave

Work and career coaching - should you stay or start your own business?

Member organisations

BACP

Other areas of counselling I deal with

  • divorce and separation
  • should I stay or should I leave?
  • getting over a relationship
  • step/blended families
  • single parenting
  • difficulties with relationships through the teenage years
  • bereavement
  • difficulties with the effects of drug and alcohol misuse
  • anger
  • violent and abusive behaviour
  • depression
  • self harm
  • bullying
  • low self esteem and low confidence
  • how to communicate more effectively
  • when someone goes to prison
  • when children grow up and leave home

Fees

£120 initial session (approx 1.5 - 2 hours)

Subsequent sessions £90 (approx 75 - 90 mins)

Sometimes (most times) one or two sessions is enough, to really make a difference.

Sometimes habits like smoking, drinking, drugs, gambling, gaming, shopping etc. can take a little longer, this is because addictions/habits are often so deep rooted we need to do some root digging and then replanting and nurturing.

or

If you are looking to repair or change your relationship or to change career direction this can also take longer as it's a process.

You can feel completely supported in a coaching programme for 6 months for £1,200. There is typically a concentration of time together in the first 3 months and then in the final 3 months, we are just dealing with any hurdles you face; and I'll be supporting and encouraging you.

Contact tends to be less once you are on a roll, but I'm here to check back with whenever necessary.

You can contact me any time by text or email through this 6 month period and we can schedule face to face, Skype or FaceTime (or other) meetings as part of the package.

If you need more/different we can structure it - for example after the initial work, some people just want to check in with me every week or fortnight and that would be £60 per hour.

Some people want me to kick their butt to keep them accountable and achieve their outcomes ;-)

Call or email and we can book a discovery call to decide which route is best for you. You can upgrade at any time to a more cost effective package.

Book a call and we can talk it through. If I'm not your cup of tea, that's OK, you've eliminated me from your search :-)

The research shows that the biggest predictor of change is that you find the right person regardless of whether they are a counsellor, coach, hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner, Gestalt, Person centered, psychodynamic, psychotherapist, psychologist, psychiatrist etc etc

Call me today and see if I can help?

Further information

Maps & Directions

Tring, HP23 4AT

Type of session

Online counselling: Yes
Telephone counselling: Yes
Face to face counselling: Yes

Practical details

Sign language: No
Other languages: None

Availability

I aim to be as flexible as possible, so I offer various times of day throughout the week. Weekend appointments are available.

Types of client

Children
Young people
Adults
Older adults
Couples
Families
Groups
Organisations