How to take the first step and the relational approach to change

Are you unsatisfied with how you are feeling day-to-day, and want to find an effective approach to finding relief both immediate and long-lasting from your challenges?

Here, I explore how my many years of experience have led me to believe that relational therapy is one of the most versatile and effective approaches to change.

For me, when a client attends for the first time, I need to be aware that in order for ‘help’ to be of any use, I need to build a relationship with the client based on a solid foundation of trust and non-judgment. Crucial to this stage is a mutual agreement on what changes would be good for you, the client, and how we would work together to achieve this. A good bond and agreement on where we are heading (and the therapeutic method) lays a solid foundation to begin the first steps of improving your well-being and quality of life.

Practical elements of the counselling relationship will be established at this point, such as time, costs, and whether you are motivated and able to take responsibility for attending sessions.

With a solid foundation, we begin to reach a place of naturally and seamlessly being present and engaged with each other. Here, I will help you to begin to understand and explore your current issues from your point of view. This will give me a certain understanding of how you see and experience the world. If you feel safe within the foundations we have built, you begin to show motivation to resolve the problem as well as accept help from me, the therapist.

At points during our work together, we may explore what Petruska Clarkson calls the transferential relationship. This is where we focus on the unconscious part of our interactions in the counselling room; as is very often the case, we also interact in a similar way in everyday life. Here, we look at whether influences from our past may provoke our reactions unconsciously in the present. For example, do you become angry or anxious for no obvious reason or overreact in a way that is not proportional to your current situation?

An underlying principle of the way I work is to provide a predictable space for clients to learn how to authentically connect and relate to others. By using warm, empathetic, and non-judgemental approaches, I am able to create a safe environment for you to express yourself.

During my time working with the homeless, substance misuse, work-related stress or young college students, it became clear that many people often lacked this environment in their developmental years - either by accident or intent by their caregivers. This manifests in problematic mental health such as anxiety, self-sabotage, substance misuse, depression, anger and relationship issues. The most extreme examples of these often-involved complex trauma between birth and 18 years old.

Together, we can look at the way you relate to others, and how that impacts common mental health factors, taking into account the social and cultural factors. I intentionally place a very strong emphasis on the client and therapist relationship as all recent evidence shows this above theory and method to be the key factor in producing a better quality of life for the client.