How to slay a dragon
Sick and tired of feeling sick and tired? Addiction can feel like a never-ending cycle, so much so it makes your head spin - leaving you so disorientated that the world becomes groundless.
As you become more and more powerless you can begin to lose yourself in the submergence of its pull. We can become so used to the situation that we get lost in the insanity of it all. Surreal and dangerous people, places, and things becoming normal. Despite the ill effects, the thought of change may start to create fear. We may fear that we won't be able to measure up or be the person we were before addiction got us in its chokehold.
We may feel unworthy of recovery, feeling so ashamed of our behaviour and the lengths we may have gone to in order to feed its call; this thought alone can feel too overwhelming and keep us beholden and hidden in its lair. We may fear not being likeable, or coming across as boring and plain. Or simply not being able to cope with life on life's terms. We may have experienced a lot of trauma and abuse whilst the 'using' has taken place. Facing this can also keep the flame of fear burning.
Considering all of this, accepting that you will never be the person you were before because a lot has happened in that time, can be a hard pill to swallow. Stepping away from all of this can feel like taking a massive leap of faith into the unknown. But what is it that prompts change? What slows this roller coaster down? Recovery comes in all shapes and forms. No one's recovery is the same. There is no one size fits all. We don’t need to white-knuckle it, there are numerous ways we can begin to return from its clutches. Recovery is not a linear path and having support from someone to shine a light and guide us back down and into connection again is possible.
Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) can be useful in learning to understand that the way we think and behave has an impact on the way we feel. This can provide insight into understanding how your self-talk can be challenged and adapted so you can start administering yourself some support and guidance. Understanding triggers and knowing how to roll the tape forward so you can prepare for particular pitfalls and healthy ways to manage difficulties can start to provide you with a level of mastery. Considering pleasurable activities and rediscovering the things you enjoy in life can also be a major player in stepping away from living in deprivation.
Talking therapy can also be really helpful to reflect on your life and events that may have happened. Understanding your relational patterns and considering how to have or rebuild healthy relationships with yourself as well as others.
Trauma-based therapy may be necessary if you’ve faced any particularly difficult situations that you would like to work through and process
Mindfulness and meditation are also helpful to begin to learn how to sit with your feelings and self-regulation
Peer support through the fellowships can be a fantastic place to gain identification from one addict to another. And support you to build meaningful connections with others again
Substance misuse services can support with medication and monitor physical symptoms, as well as offer group support and recovery-based education.
If you feel this article has resonated in any way it may be useful to speak to your GP or access a therapist who is trained in this particular area.