Five steps to finding yourself again when you feel lost

The feeling when you've lost a part of yourself, when you can't remember the person who you once were, when you look in the mirror and hardly recognise the person staring back at you, well those are the feelings that many people have experienced during their lifetime.

In this article, I've put together five ways to find yourself again when you feel lost. The first step in the process is to try not to think about all of the things that may be bothering you or causing distress. When you tackle things one at a time, they automatically appear a lot easier to cope with than when you think about 'all of the things that you have on your plate at the moment'. A great tip for helping you to do this is by listing everything that's bothering you or that you have to do and then putting a number next to each item in order of priority (10 means it's top priority, 1 - low priority) and numbers in between accordingly.

The second step is to eliminate some of the 'noise' in your life. Now, this could mean anything from spending less time online and using your mobile phone to spending more time alone relaxing instead of feeling obligated to meet up with friends in noisy environments if that's not something that you really wish to do. However, if you spend much of your time alone, then step two would be to increase time spent with others so that you can communicate how you are feeling and also lift your spirits with people who care about you.

Step number three is to consider booking yourself a Julia Roberts 'eat, pray, love' style retreat. If that's not a possibility, then an alternative would be to book yourself a weekend away where the focus is on connecting with yourself and with nature instead of connecting using technology and the hundreds of devices that we often find ourselves carrying around with us. Taking a break can be extremely rejuvenating when you don't feel like yourself as a new environment, new people and interesting surroundings can sometimes awaken something within you and trigger that 'feel good' button. The next step in the process is to 'look good, feel good'. Do you have a favourite outfit that makes you

The next step in the process is to 'look good, feel good'. Do you have a favourite outfit that makes you smile when you're wearing it? A hairstyle that you always get compliments from others when you wear your hair that way? A favourite shade of lipstick (if you wear makeup)? Research has shown that wearing clothes that you have a special connection to can increase your self-esteem and also help you to recall fond memories of times and occasions when you were previously wearing the clothes. Why not give it a try?

The final step in this process is to try to see beyond the moment and create some hope in your heart that you will find your way back. Maybe you can use some techniques including meditation and visualisation to help you to feel more optimistic about your future but if this doesn't work, seeking professional or personal help is also an option. The key is for you to feel like 'you' again so I hope that this information has been helpful, useful and of some benefit.               

Counselling Directory is not responsible for the articles published by members. The views expressed are those of the member who wrote the article.

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Birmingham, West Midlands, B43

Written by Marian Hanson

Birmingham, West Midlands, B43

I am a relationship counsellor with eight years experience of providing counselling to individuals and couples. I also have experience of providing counselling to children and women who have experienced domestic violence and I am in the process of becoming a confidence and self-worth coach and I have a passion for areas of personal development

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